«Eating together remains a source of stress»
Our children have eight diagnoses between them: three autism diagnoses, type 1 diabetes, dyscalculia, dyslexia, ADHD and asthma. These health issues are one of the most challenging aspects of everyday life. When I started my own business two years ago, it became really stressful.
What helps is our very structured daily routine. We originally introduced this because of the children affected by autism, who simply need regular routines. Ultimately, however, everyone benefits from it because it brings a great deal of calm to everyday life.
No longer having to discuss many things is the greatest relief in everyday life.
For example, my husband and I put the children to bed according to a precise schedule. This takes the pressure off us parents because we no longer have to discuss it. And the children don't start any more discussions either.
We also no longer discuss the contents of snack boxes or desserts. We present a predetermined selection from which the children can choose something - that's it. There are also strict rules about what they can have for breakfast and when. Nutella, for example, is only on the table on Wednesdays and at weekends.
We tumble dry almost everything - which may not be environmentally friendly, but it is practical.
We also work with pictograms, i.e. small drawings that precisely indicate the daily routine - for example, which actions need to be carried out in the morning when the children go to school and things have to be done quickly: getting up, going to the toilet, eating breakfast, brushing teeth. This is particularly useful for our two youngest children, who were often overwhelmed by the routines. If there is a special occasion - a family party or a trip to the swimming pool - I also put this up as a pictogram.
No longer having to discuss many things is the biggest relief in everyday life. At the same time, my husband and I try to talk a lot. That's why we go to marriage counselling as a preventative measure: so that we don't lose sight of each other and are well positioned with four children, two jobs and lots of hobbies.
I have simplified a lot of things in the household. For example, we tumble dry almost everything - which may not be environmentally friendly, but it is practical. Then each child sorts their laundry. I hang all my clothes on hangers, so I don't have to fold them.
However, eating together remains a source of stress. Our children with autism are very fussy about this: If the consistency isn't right or the combination of foods isn't right, nothing works at all. I myself, on the other hand, like to cook and eat in a variety of ways. But I've learnt that it's not worth the fight. Sometimes you just have to be realistic and lower your expectations.
