Parental stress: «We all often have too many balls in the air»

Things get particularly stressful for us when we parents are busy. Anthony works 100 per cent, I work 60 per cent, which means I'm at home more and also take on more. If my workload at work is heavier, I quickly realise this - because appointments are forgotten and we only remember at the last minute: «Oh, the child has to go to the forest today!»

In general, the mornings are more stressful - to which the children react and are more clingy. We parents, on the other hand, have less of a buffer and start to argue because we can't agree on who has missed out on what. In short: the system is overstretched.

There are probably situations like this in every family - no matter who works how much. You are not always equally resilient. It helps to reduce the pace here. If I notice that it's at the expense of the children, I cancel appointments or leave a child at home. It doesn't necessarily have to be a fever. Sometimes it's good to put the brakes on earlier.

You don't have to spend three hours a day with every child. It's about recognising the moments when it matters and then showing presence.

Larissa Hauser

At the same time, I don't think you have to spend three hours a day with every child. It's more about recognising the moments when it matters and then showing presence. For me, for example, the mornings with my daughter are important; we often play a game together before kindergarten. With my son, it's more the conversations before he goes to sleep.

As a psychologist, I run training courses in stress and self-management and should actually know what is important. But stress always has to do with emotions and personal judgement of the situation. In this respect, I'm not immune to it either and I learn something new every day. Especially as children change very quickly, especially in the early years - which is nice, but also exhausting because it takes a lot of energy.

The feeling of stress is something very personal. For me, for example, the baby phase was incredibly stressful. Now that the children are older, I find it much easier. But when I talk to friends, I realise that everyone perceives it differently.

In general, we all often have too many balls in the air. Like a juggler who can't keep them all up at the same time. That's why you have to make a conscious decision, especially in stressful phases: What do I let go of in order to regain more control? These are sometimes painful processes.

We haven't had any self-designed photo books for two years because sleep and staying healthy are more important to me right now.

Larissa Hauser

For example, when I have to realise: «I'm only concentrating on a few people for now» or «This hobby isn't a priority right now». For example, we haven't had any self-designed photo books for two years because sleep and staying healthy are more important to me at the moment. But it will definitely be possible again at some point. «It's just a phase,» I tell myself until then.