«I pay a high price for the Gymi»

It was always clear to me that I would go to grammar school: All my career aspirations require a Matura. Preparing for the entrance exam took a lot out of me, despite my good grades.

At grammar school, it was made clear to us that not only the first six months were to be regarded as a probationary period, but that we could also be expelled later. In the first six months, the teachers seemed to be trying to get us to do it.

I was just learning and persevering.

There were times when three exams fell on the same day. All I had to do was study and persevere. Surprisingly, all but two students passed the trial period. Two others dropped out voluntarily. A lot has improved since then; I think the teachers are coordinating their exam dates better.

In the summer, my mum asked me if I had finally arrived, saying that a successful year at grammar school was proof that I belonged there. But the fact that I could be kicked out again at any time scares me. Absurdly, I will probably only feel accepted at this school once I have my A-levels in the bag.

However, I have also learnt to take a more relaxed view of some things, so I no longer expect to only get good grades - it's fine if I'm good enough in individual subjects. My mum still thinks that school takes up too much space, she once even toyed with the idea of deregistering me.

But anything other than grammar school is out of the question for me. I pay a high price for this when it comes to maintaining hobbies: One takes place during my lunch break, the other starts after a ten-hour day. We have a great class, but unfortunately we'll only be together until the summer holidays because we have to choose different school profiles.

I recently visited a business high school, which is also attended by young people who transfer after secondary school. The pupils seemed unmotivated to me, they stood around smoking during the break. Third-graders couldn't answer questions that even I, as a second-grader, knew the answer to. My grammar school has a reputation for making high demands on pupils. I could transfer to a less demanding school, but I'm staying where I am. It also makes me proud to pass there.