«We now know how we can support Arno»

Matthias*, 43 years old and a business economist, and Nina, 40 years old and a cultural worker, live with their two sons in the canton of Zurich. Arno is six years old, highly sensitive and gifted. His younger brother is four years old.

Who would have thought that socks could lead to drama? At the beginning of Arno's kindergarten years, we had a fight with them almost every morning. Again and again we heard: They scratch. It was incredibly stressful for us parents because our daily routines no longer worked. We were at a loss. Why was our son raging over such little things?

We realised early on that Arno was different in many ways. He only learnt to walk at the age of two. But his ability to perceive and concentrate was exceptional! One example: at the age of one and a half, he was able to recognise various car brands not only by their logos, but also by the shapes of the vehicles. If he was interested in a subject, he could study it for hours.

Sometimes distraction is enough, but it is not a permanent solution.

He loved getting input from us and discovering new things, but was extremely sensitive to sensory stimuli. Loud noises such as vacuuming or scratchy clothes were almost unbearable for him. We tried to defuse difficult situations by distracting him - for example, by giving him maths problems or technical explanations. Sometimes that was enough, but it wasn't a solution to the actual problem.

After we didn't know what to do, we finally sought professional support. Arno tested positive for giftedness at a counselling centre. We also recognised parallels between Arno's sensitivity and Matthias' personality, as well as that of his paternal grandfather.

Assess and express needs better

Arno doesn't have any social problems. He makes friends everywhere. He obviously succeeds in adapting to a new environment - but it does exhaust him. We feel this strain later at home when the tension is released. As parents, we have sought advice and now know how we can support Arno constructively, for example by recognising in good time that the point of overstimulation has been reached at a family party.

Today, at the age of six, Arno has learnt to assess and express his needs better. He withdraws more and more often on his own when he needs peace and quiet. He then goes into his room and does something like drawing or reading.

Looking back today, we have internalised a tip that we would like to pass on to other parents in similar situations. You can make life a lot easier for yourself by simply buying the clothes that your child will accept in larger numbers and in increasing sizes. The tried and tested garments take away insecurity. This simple step has saved us and Arno a lot of stress.

* The names of all family members have been changed by the editors.