«It was often difficult for Nina at school»
Simone*, 46, a business manager, and her husband Daniel, 47, a computer scientist, live with their daughters Nina, 12, and Rosalie, 15, in Uster ZH. Here they talk about their experiences with Nina's high sensitivity.
Sudden changes of plan are a challenge for Nina. Once she's set her mind on something, she can't just change it. This was also the case on our recent holiday in Iceland. We had planned to eat in a restaurant, but it was fully booked and we had to change our plans. It was a disaster for Nina. The disappointment, but also the perceived loss of control, completely overwhelmed her. Situations like this, which are often only minor inconveniences for us, lead to emotional breakdowns for her.
A big step forward was when Nina herself began to accept her high sensitivity.
We realised that Nina could be highly sensitive when a friend pointed out certain patterns to us. After a series of tests and discussions with experts, we finally realised that Nina perceives her environment more intensely than other children. We had noticed early on that she reacted to the smallest stimuli, be it a loud noise, scratchy clothes or an unexpected change in the daily routine. Having an explanation for this helped us to find a good way of dealing with it.
It was often difficult for Nina at school. If she didn't know exactly what was expected of her, she couldn't get started. We used to try to motivate her or push her, but that usually ended in frustration. Today, we give her the time and space to work at her own pace. That's how it works!
Growing closer together as a family
Social interactions were also a major hurdle. Nina was often so intensely aware of the emotions of her classmates that she was completely exhausted by the end of the day. When other children were treated badly, she suffered immensely because she projected the negative feelings of other children onto herself. Working with her teachers and a therapist, we learnt how we could help Nina to distance herself emotionally.
A big step forward was when Nina herself began to accept her high sensitivity. She now talks openly with her teachers and friends about what is good for her and where she needs support. This has not only helped her to cope better at school, but has also boosted her self-confidence.
We have learnt to treat each other with greater respect.
For us as a family, this process was a learning journey. Not only did we have to learn to understand and support Nina's needs, but we also had to make sure that her older sister Rosalie didn't get the short end of the stick. There were times when Rosalie felt Nina was getting more attention, but through open conversations we found a balance.
Today, we see our daughter's high sensitivity less as a challenge and more as a special gift. We have grown closer together as a family, have learnt to treat each other with greater respect and to take the needs of each individual into consideration. Nina has learnt a lot about herself along the way and will benefit from her sensitivity as an adult!
* The names of all family members have been changed by the editors.
