«That's not enough sleep for old age!»
Theresa* is 43 years old and mum to Emilia, 9, and Luisa, 5. Together with her husband Christian, 46, the family of four lives in Halle (Germany).
My older daughter Emilia has always needed very little sleep. She wakes up at 6 o'clock in the morning. At around two and a half years old, even before she started kindergarten, Emilia no longer wanted to take an afternoon nap. At nursery, she was always in the wake-up group. Nevertheless, she didn't fall asleep before 8pm in the evening.
When she falls asleep, Emilia thinks a lot about God and the world and then wants to share this with us.
Theresa, Mother
We had hoped that Emilia would be more tired when she started school in the evening so that she would fall asleep more quickly. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Our daughter can only fall asleep on her own if she goes to bed really late at the weekend or is completely exhausted, otherwise falling asleep is regularly a battle that sometimes lasts for hours!
No time for yourself and your partnership
Of course, we also have a fixed bedtime ritual: dinner, half an hour of children's television and brushing her teeth, then we read a story together for about 15 minutes and then the Toniebox always plays the same radio play. However, she is far from being able to fall asleep on her own, but starts to think a lot about God and the world and then wants to share this with us.
I still go along with it to some extent, but at some point it becomes too much for me. For one thing, I'm already pretty tired after 9 p.m., plus there's still the housework to do and I'd also like to have some time for myself and my husband.
I then try to calm her down and focus her attention on the nice moments of the day. Nevertheless, she often comes back down to us in the evening because she can't fall asleep. It is then often 10 p.m., sometimes even 11 p.m., before she finally falls asleep. That's only seven or eight hours of sleep. Far too little for a child of her age, in my opinion!
Fall asleep faster, but how?
We have tried a lot of things to help our daughter fall asleep more quickly: essential oils to calm her down, globules, writing in a diary, gratitude rituals, audio games, her favourite cuddly toy, hitting her in an anger pillow to release excess energy, sleeping spells, tapping techniques, tickling, children's yoga and much more. But we weren't really successful.
Emilia's little sister Luisa shows us that things can work differently. She has always needed a relatively large amount of sleep, still takes an afternoon nap and is still tired at 8pm. That was never the case with Emilia.
Part of me would like to react in a more relaxed way and another part of me sees it as my duty.
Theresa, Mother
Although Emilia sleeps through the night when she finally does, and I don't have the impression that she is tired during the day, I also see myself as a mother with a responsibility in view of the upcoming transfer to secondary school. I feel that a planned bedtime of 9 p.m. is already relatively late. I'm also worried about all the brooding in the evenings. There are two hearts beating in my chest here: one part of me would like to react in a more relaxed way and another feels that I have a duty.
* Names changed by the editors
