Period positivity - experience your first menses in a relaxed way

Some girls* are completely surprised. Others eagerly look forward to it. And still others tick off their first period as a matter of course. Completely unimpressed by the fact that with the onset of their period, they are no longer little girls, but women who could bear children.

On average, girls in Switzerland are 12.5 years old when they have their first period. However, menarche can start as early as 10 or as late as 16. «There is a very wide range in puberty development,» explains gynaecologist Anne Renner, who offers special girls' consultations at her practice in Zurich.

She believes it is important to educate girls even before their first period - and above all to give them the confidence that they can ask any questions about menstruation at any time. «The more openly parents deal with the topic, talk about it and make it clear that there is nothing embarrassing about it, the easier it is for their children,» emphasises the doctor.

Your period is a gift, a sign that your body is developing healthily.

Anne Renner, gynaecologist

Around two years before their first period, most girls notice that their body is changing: Breasts grow, hips get wider, armpits and pubic hair sprout. «This is a good time to point out to the child that the internal organs are also changing,» says Renner. For example, egg cells slowly begin to mature in the ovaries.

It's good when parents develop a feeling for their offspring: Because while some girls are literally waiting for such conversations, others are not yet ready for them. Therefore: don't push, but signal your willingness to talk. If the child only answers briefly or doesn't ask any further questions, you should let it go for the time being.

It is also helpful if female caregivers themselves have a natural approach to their own periods - and, for example, make no secret of the use of sanitary products such as tampons, menstrual cups or sanitary towels.

A lot happens in the first eight years of life

Vera Studach is also in favour of talking to children about their bodies and sexual topics as early as possible - and with both sexes. She is a specialist in sexual health in education and counselling and runs the Liebesexundsoweiter specialist centre in Winterthur ZH. She and her team visit school classes on behalf of the Department of Education. «The first eight years of life in particular are incredibly formative,» she says. «This is when children absorb the most. That's why it's so important to promote a sex-friendly climate at home right from the start.»

Boys should also know that mummy has her period once a month.

Vera Studach, sexual health specialist

This includes talking to girls and boys about the changes in their bodies. And addressing fertility holistically instead of looking at menstruation in isolation. «Boys should also know that mum has her period once a month or what it means when women go through the menopause,» says Studach, herself a mother of two sons.

An open approach to the topic of sexuality in the family also allows children to ask questions and tell others of their own accord. Then you don't have to follow up: «Right, you'll tell me when you get your period?» Or constantly ask: «Have you had your period yet?» This could otherwise give the child the feeling that something is wrong with them.

Do not draw conclusions about the child from yourself

Anne Renner believes that the onset of the first menstruation is a major event in a girl's life. You don't necessarily have to celebrate this event excessively - many girls find it rather embarrassing. «But parents can point out that the period is a gift, a sign that the body is developing healthily and that you will be able to have children one day,» says the gynaecologist. This is the most important thing anyway: to present the period as something positive.

Parents shouldn't create fears, put a negative spin on menstruation or overwhelm children with their own bad experiences. «People are different,» Renner points out. She warns against drawing conclusions about the offspring. «If the mother has severe period pains, it doesn't mean that the daughter will have the same experience.»

At the same time, it is important to proceed with caution and respect natural shame. This means that the first menstrual period does not have to be discussed at the family dinner table. And a friend may ask different questions than mum - especially if menstruation and the menstrual cycle have hardly ever been discussed openly in the family before.

Unfortunately, menstruation is no longer a topic in sixth form. That's a shame, there would be so much to say.

Vera Studach, sexual health specialist

Large gaps in education at schools

In fact, Vera Studach and her colleagues still have to do a lot of educational work when they visit schools - even if the numerous sexualised content on social media suggests otherwise. However, based on the (anonymous) questions asked by pupils, the experts repeatedly realise that some young people are not even aware of the biological basics.

Sexual education is also part of the curriculum and the topic of menstruation is covered in year six. However, these topics are no longer included in the sixth form - «which is a shame, as there is so much to say,» says Studach. On the other hand, however, the specialists encounter many young men and women who are very open and knowledgeable. «There's a huge gap here,» says Vera Studach.

«Period Positivity» wants to do away with taboos

She is pleased that the trend is moving towards «period positivity». «Which doesn't mean that everything is positive. But that menstruation and the female cycle are generally seen as topics that are actively addressed.» Increasingly, the talk is no longer of «hygiene products» but of «menstrual products» - «which is only right, after all, it's not about something dirty».

With the large selection of menstrual products, every young woman will find something that feels good for her.

A lot has happened on the market in recent years: tampons in a wide variety of sizes, textures and compositions. Pads that are no longer bulky. Comfortable period underwear, menstrual cups. Every menstruating woman will find something to suit her personal preference and the intensity of her period.

Many young girls continue to use pads at first, observes gynaecologist Renner, because they are very easy to use. Often, inserting a tampon doesn't work so well at first; then you should encourage your daughter («You'll get used to it in time», «Then you won't take swimming lessons»). Vaginal creams or lubricants can help here. You also need some experience with your own body to use a menstrual cup correctly. «That's why this may not be the right product to start with,» says the gynaecologist.

The specialist advises parents to help their daughter get an overview of the numerous products so that she can see what feels good for her. It also makes sense to always have a sanitary pad in the school bag, as periods are often quite irregular at the beginning, says the gynaecologist. There are still hardly any school toilets that are equipped with menstrual products. «Less than ten per cent,» estimates Vera Studach, who is often out and about in school buildings. «That really is extremely poor.»

Books instead of social media

Parents should also help their children filter the numerous channels that offer countless information on menstruation and the menstrual cycle. On social media alone, there is an almost unmanageable flood of posts - some of which are more or less well researched. Both experts therefore recommend books on the subject that young people can browse through from time to time or well-founded websites.

By the way: The first menstrual period is not a compelling reason to make an appointment with your gynaecologist quickly. «Many young women come to me for the first time when they have symptoms - pain or heavy bleeding, for example. Or when it comes to contraception,» says Anne Renner. But a visit to the gynaecologist can also be a good option if the offspring are looking for someone else to answer their pressing questions. Or parents feel that they can't answer everything. «During the first visit, I therefore usually only do educational work and don't examine at all,» says Anne Renner.

* Where this text refers to girls or women, it refers to all persons who menstruate.