«I had the feeling that I no longer existed»
I got pregnant when my ex-husband and I were in Switzerland for a few months to work and then returned to his home country of Mexico. We then decided that our son should be born here. I worked in the catering industry and at the same time we set up our tattoo studio. My husband was responsible for the artistic work and I was in charge of the administration. I worked a lot, looked forward to having a child and didn't worry: as a nursery school teacher, I knew what to expect - a mistake, as it turned out.
Seven days after the birth, I was in the studio three times a week. With our son. I picked up bits and pieces of sleep. To supplement my finances, I took on an additional job in a daycare centre. That was a tough time. It does something to me when I think back on it.
It takes so much to be a good mother and so little to receive praise as a father.
Corina, Mother
However, it wasn't so much the exhaustion that caused my house of cards to collapse, but the fact that I started to be honest with myself. I had the feeling that I no longer existed: Who was I? I only knew myself in the role of carer: as a loving mother and wife who provides comfort at home, quality time, without involving the family in burdensome duties.
Someone who leaves her loved ones wanting for nothing and who also has a job. I liked this role until I realised that it was eating me up. From then on, the end of my marriage was foreseeable. Two years ago, my ex-husband went back to Mexico.
Single parent and working
People often ask me how I manage to juggle everything - being a single parent, working and having so much patience for my child. I manage it because I now know the answers to fundamental questions: Who am I, what do I need? I know and act accordingly. And I dare to ask for help. Today, I'm a group leader in a daycare centre, I helped set up a daycare centre for kindergarten children and I trained as a parent educator with Child Protection Switzerland.
The parent coaching sessions are a matter close to my heart. Basically, it's always about: What helps us to be less stressed? This is a question that drives many mothers. They are the ones who coordinate appointments, organise birthday presents, rubber boots for the morning in the woods. Many of them feel overwhelmed, even frustrated, at having to think of everything and instruct their husbands.
Everyone is clamouring for equal rights: The modern woman can have it all! Which in reality means that things are getting more and more and the mum should please have them under control. It takes so much to be a good mother and so little to receive praise as a father - cue Daddy Day.
Many mothers are also insecure. On the one hand, we have the older generation calling for a stricter hand in parenting, while on the other, there are experts online who tell mums how they should be. So-called spiritual experts, for example, who want women to believe that they need to find their way back to their primal maternal power, their instinct - which then allows them to act intuitively and do everything right. This is nonsense and raises expectations that no one can fulfil.
