«I was always there for others»
Noémie: «My youngest brothers were born when I was a teenager. I helped out a lot and also went out babysitting. I knew how much effort children meant - and that was one of the reasons why I didn't want any. I was met with a lack of understanding, but not from my mum. But I appreciated that I could do whatever I wanted.»
Margrit: «Until Laurin surprised you.»
Noémie: «I was looking forward to it right from the start. It was also clear to me that I would go back to work. I'm in a management role and manage 50 employees, so I definitely didn't want to give that up. Laurin was born two months early and was allowed home after three weeks. It would have been difficult without mummy. She was always there for us.»
«There was always something to do»
Margrit: «I look after all five grandchildren every week. With my youngest son, who became a father at 19, more intensively at first. I helped the young couple as much as I could. When I see the stress that young mothers have today - taking the child to daycare in the morning, then rushing off to work - I'm glad that I had it easier.»
Noémie: «But you haven't been short of work either!»
Margrit: «With five children of my own and day-care children who lived with us from time to time, there was always something to do. I earned extra money as a childminder and looked after young women who were completing their domestic training year with us. But I didn't have to work away from home.»
More children do not always mean more work.
Margrit, 75
Noémie: «You also felt the loss of freedom as a young mother, didn't you?»
Margrit: «Of course. And at 43, when our youngest was a year old, I asked myself: Are children everything in my life? I began a four-year training programme as a healing therapist and set up my own business. It was like a liberation: finally something for myself! But speaking of which: more children don't always mean more work. My children had each other to play with.»
Always in the caring role
Noémie: «A child alone demands an incredible amount of presence and undivided attention. It's sometimes tough. At some point, stacking building blocks or doing puzzles gets boring. In the beginning, my partner tried to be a stay-at-home mum, but the role became too one-sided for him. I totally understand that.»
Margrit: «A friend asked me the other day: if you could do something new in your life, something just for yourself, what would it be? I thought about it for a long time and couldn't think of anything. I realise how much that has shaped me - always being there for others, always in the caring role. I don't even know what else I'd like to do. It makes me a bit sick.»
As a full-time working mum, you are often seen as exotic.
Noémie, 45
Noémie: «Maybe you're there for others because it's a passion of yours?»
Margrit: «It's close to my heart, yes. What I wanted to say about motherhood: I think the demands have increased. Children are put on a pedestal and their mothers are expected to be perfect in everything.»
Noémie: «As a full-time working mum, you're often seen as exotic, almost like an alien, because you don't want to be with your child all the time. That doesn't bother me much, but the mental load does. All these extra tasks for which there is neither money nor recognition. Why do they always fall to the women? In our family, it's also me who writes the menu plan, coordinates the family agenda, orders nappies and thinks about the fact that the little one will soon need bigger clothes. If my boyfriend was responsible for that, chaos would break out.»
