«I am very grateful for many things in my life»
Sarah Pel, 49, works as a special needs teacher and has three children: Jan, 23, and Lars, 18, are already working and doing an apprenticeship respectively. Marie, 14, is in her second year of secondary school. Sarah Pel is divorced. All three children live with their mother in the city of Zurich.
Good self-care is particularly important when facing challenging phases of life. Fortunately, I have always been aware of this, because otherwise I might have been able to endure the last few times with less composure.
My husband and I separated a good three years ago and have since filed for divorce. I've had several sleepless nights since then. Of course, it's not nice to be almost 50 and have to reorganise your life again. I also hope that my three children, our dog and I can stay in our home.
The most important thing is to develop an awareness of what you need and what you have.
The three of them are already very independent and no longer constantly dependent on me. That's why I work almost 80 per cent and am often not at home. Nevertheless, it is of course important that they are not too worried by my worries and the separation.
I have developed various rituals and strategies to take good care of myself and strengthen my well-being. This includes, for example, spending time in nature on a regular basis. I often go for walks with my dog and enjoy the peace and beauty of nature. I recharge my batteries. I sometimes drop everything to meet a friend. I make sure I get enough sleep. I'm now the first in the family to go to bed.
Practising self-care
But the most important thing is probably to develop a good awareness of what you need and what you actually have. I am very grateful for many things in my life: I have a secure job, I'm healthy, I have my family close by and lots of good friends.
In my eyes, self-love doesn't mean buying great clothes and cosmetics or going on an expensive trip. Good self-care involves being mindful of beautiful moments. A method called «change of perspective with beans» helps me to do this. I put five dry beans in my right trouser pocket in the morning. Every time something nice happens, for example when a bird chirps, a neighbour smiles at me or something tastes good, I pause for a moment, become aware of the moment and let a bean slide from my right pocket into my left pocket. In the evening, I take the beans out of my trouser pocket - usually everyone has changed sides - and remember every moment. I concentrate on the essentials. That way, I'm with myself, even when the world around me is chaotic.
