How sound healing can soothe anger in children

The story I heard piqued my curiosity: a father is regularly overwhelmed in his everyday life with three sons. He often brings the stress he experiences at work into the family. There is also frequent turbulence among his sons. Things quickly get out of hand, nerves are frayed and arguments break out.

He then learnt about the method of sound healing. A technique with which he first calmed himself and then his sons within a very short time. Since then, he has used sound healing regularly and no longer wants to do without it.

What is Soundhealing?

Bettina Steffen told me the story. The mother of three is a massage therapist, coach and sound healer recognised by health insurance companies and recently opened her new practice in Schaffhausen. But what is sound healing anyway and how does it work?

Sounden needs no prior knowledge, on the contrary. We can forget everything we have ever learnt about singing.

Bettina Steffen, sound therapist

Sound healing or sound therapy is often carried out using singing bowls or similar instruments. With the help of musical sounds, emotional, physical or psychological complaints can be improved or even healed. As humans are made up of around 70 per cent water, sound waves from gongs or singing bowls not only penetrate the ear, but also muscles, organs, bones and the nervous system. The vibrations of the sound waves can, for example, break through emotional blockages such as fear, anger, sadness etc. and trigger a feeling of deep calm and relaxation.

Tone with your own voice

Bettina Steffen goes one step further: «The way I use sound healing, the basic instrument is the voice.» This has two advantages: Firstly, you always have your voice with you and secondly, the sounds have a more intense effect because you produce them yourself.

If you're thinking: «Oops, that's certainly not for me. I can't sing at all», the sound therapist can reassure you: «You don't need any prior knowledge at all, on the contrary. We can forget everything we've ever learnt about singing.»

After all, there are no guidelines or rules, no specific melody or sequence and no predetermined beat. «It's an intuitive sound, a way of feeling my way in order to give space to the sound that wants to flow out of me at that very moment,» explains the 42-year-old from Zurich.

Young children do this quite naturally and are therefore very receptive to it. The older the child gets, the more the person is moulded by guidelines on how something should sound, the more difficult it will be for them to simply reflect on their intuition and sound. «This is exactly what I reawaken with my coaching. Access to the inner voice, to feeling and then sounding.»

Switch off the mind and switch on the heart

Soundhealing serves up what many people long for on a silver platter, so to speak: it unhinges the mind and opens the heart. «For many, it is strange at first, they are looking for something they know, a memory of music or a song. As they can't find anything in their head, the sounds don't resonate there, the mind switches off and an access opens up that leads directly to the heart,» explains Steffen.

Within seconds, tears can flow and a feeling of warmth and peace can spread. «This is exactly what makes sound healing such an incredibly effective and simple tool.»

When anger isolates the child

In parent-child coaching, Bettina Steffen is always amazed at the quick and lasting effect of sound healing. The topic of aggression, for example, lends itself particularly well to this method.

Sounden enables parents to release their emotional blockages. They calm themselves down and can approach their child in a completely different way.

Bettina Steffen, sound therapist

From her own experience with her children, she knows how children can isolate themselves during a tantrum. «They scream, rage, lash out and can then no longer be reached with words,» she explains. As a parent, you are often at a loss in such situations and are also triggered by your own helplessness.

Parents as a mirror of anger

Bettina Steffen's first step is usually to meet the parents. «Aggressive children often reflect an issue with their parents, which then manifests itself in a tense family atmosphere, for example,» says the therapist, who has many years of experience. She therefore deliberately takes the focus away from the child and onto the parental stress factors.

When am I stressed as a mum or dad? How do I react to it and how does stress feel in my body? Does it manifest itself in abdominal pain, pressure in the chest, a lump in the throat or a carousel of thoughts?

«Sounden enables parents to release their emotional blockages. They calm themselves down and can therefore approach their child in a completely different way. Children notice this big difference straight away,» says Bettina Steffen.

In her family coaching sessions, the therapist also works with children individually. In addition to sounding, soft toys help the child to talk about their feelings and categorise them better.

Reduce inhibitions

Let's take a closer look at a sound healing session for adults. What exactly happens there? Bettina Steffen offers both online coaching sessions and sessions in her practice rooms.

The first step is to discuss the topic to be addressed. On site, you can then choose whether you want to lie down on the couch or prefer to take your place sitting on the sofa or on the floor. «The important thing is that you feel comfortable.»

Especially at the beginning, the inhibition threshold to produce their own sounds is high. The therapist therefore usually starts with singing bowls and her own voice. She most often works with the large, light-coloured crystal singing bowls and the Tibetan metal singing bowls. Both sound instruments produce their own unique tones and vibrations.

Video by Bettina Steffen about Soundhealing:

Together with the client, she embarks on an inner journey lasting around sixty to ninety minutes. «The time varies because it is important to complete the process properly. Stopping in the middle would be neither beneficial nor responsible.»

Finally let go!

The person being treated closes their eyes during the session and surrenders completely to the effect of the sounds. «During the sounding, I receive images and input, talk to people and change the sound instruments. I follow my intuition and the knowledge I have acquired as a therapist and coach over many years,» says Bettina Steffen, explaining her approach.

Her other sound instruments, which she has collected over the years, include wind chimes, rattles, a hand drum, a rain pipe and a flute. Each instrument can be used in different ways. «Drums or rattles, for example, help to break up old, encrusted emotions and traumas. Wind chimes, rain pipes and flutes, on the other hand, have a calming and stabilising effect,» she explains.

When the tears flow

For many people, producing their own sounds is unfamiliar and associated with shame. Bettina Steffen therefore also encourages her clients to make sounds by babbling, sighing, hissing and other noises that can escape the human throat. Once the silence is broken and the sounds come to the surface, the most common reaction is tears.

«There are very different tears mixed together: tears of joy, of gratitude, but also tears of anger or pain. But no matter which tears appear, they all end in tears of relief. After all, crying is a wonderful way to relieve pressure and let go.»

At the end of a sound healing session, Bettina Steffen talks to her clients about what they have experienced, helping them to categorise and anchor it.

Helping people to help themselves

As a rule, four sessions are enough to tackle an issue and consolidate the technique of sounding. Above all, Bettina Steffen believes it is important to help people help themselves: «Once you have found access to your voice, your very own sounds, there are no limits. Your own creativity in dealing with sounds is infinite. That fascinates and inspires me anew every day.»