«We do not stubbornly impose the tariff»
Nina, 42, and Daniel Ernst, 48, and their children Rafael, 15, Noah, 13, and Mia, 9, from Kriechenwil BE gave photographer Fabian Hugo an insight into their lives. Here, mum Nina talks about her everyday family life.
It is now 15 years since we embarked on our family adventure. Since then, we parents have tried out different models for balancing work and family life. When Rafael and Noah were small, I was mostly at home and Daniel was the main breadwinner. In 2010, we dared to switch roles: we moved to New Delhi with all our belongings, where I took up a full-time position as a primary school teacher at a German school and Daniel also got to know a new perspective - as a househusband.
The two years in India were an enriching experience for our family in every respect. But also for us as a couple: it promotes mutual understanding when you grow into a task that was previously mainly the responsibility of your partner, be it full-time family work or the main financial responsibility.
Today, our boys are teenagers and Mia is a primary school pupil. We parents are more involved professionally again: Daniel works 90 per cent as an electrical project manager, I work 60 per cent as a primary school teacher. The children also have a lot on their plates with school, friends and hobbies - the boys play in the football club, Mia is active in the youth squad and is a passionate horse rider. It's important to us parents that the children have a hobby, whether it's the gymnastics club, a musical instrument or a handicraft course. We find the balance to school valuable, but also the social experience that comes with it: you come into contact with different people, learn to engage with and approach others and have a commitment that you can't throw overboard at whim.
As the children get older, our family time has become scarce, but we try to make room for it wherever possible, usually in the form of a shared meal. The children obviously appreciate this too. For example, Rafael and Noah always meet their friends on Saturday evenings after our family dinner, and they do this on their own. We've always enjoyed going out into nature with the children - hiking, walking, cycling, roaming around in the woods. Nowadays, we're particularly pleased when one of the older ones joins us from time to time. Our family holidays are a highlight that no one has ever missed: In winter we go skiing, in summer we go to the seaside or simply to Lake Geneva. Travelling far is not so important to us because we also have a nice place to stay at home.
We like to laugh a lot, but we also have our bones of contention - keyword: media use. Mia is allowed to use a tablet for films or games for one hour a day, then the device switches off. Things are more complicated with Rafael and Noah. When they were younger, we had fixed screen times, which seems to make less sense as the children get older. The laptop is an important work tool for a high school student like Rafael, and Noah also uses his for school.
We want our children to experience that their actions make a difference.
Our boys love gaming, so their laptops are more popular than their smartphones. We have an agreement with both of them that they will bring their devices downstairs at 9 p.m. - the smartphone usually follows a little later - and mobile phones & co. have no place at the table. This usually works quite well. At the end of the day, we don't approach the topic of media any differently than we do other issues: we don't stubbornly impose the rules, but instead look for ways to remain on an equal footing and appeal to the children's sense of personal responsibility.
We have always tried to promote their independence by trusting them to do a lot, often letting them do it - but also demanding their contribution, for example when helping out at home. We want our children to experience that their actions make a difference. And they should learn to stand up for themselves when things backfire.
