«Sometimes I wish for the world back then»
One and a half hours a day: that's how much time my daughters have on their mobile phones. They are mainly on Tiktok, sometimes on Instagram. They don't get on YouTube. If they need it for school, they can access it via the computer. I get annoyed by the «shorts» there, these shallow short videos. Well, Tiktok is similar: zap, zap, zap, one film after another. I don't think that's good for the brain.
What I don't want to restrict is their communication. And music, i.e. Spotify. I used to spend hours listening to CDs and talking on the phone. And they should always be able to contact their dad or grandparents directly via WhatsApp.
When it comes to mobile phones and social media, I feel like I'm flying blind when it comes to parenting.
Verena, 48
But there is still Snapchat . I don't want to block that either. Because some of her friends only use it to communicate. But there are so many other things you can do on Snapchat. And I'm not listening all the time to see whether they're still on the phone or watching mindless films.
I would actually like it if they had no more than one and a half hours of mobile phone time per day. But we'll never manage that with everything on the device. And then the technology works against you: The apps are designed so that you spend hours and hours on them. On top of that, our parental control app «Family Link» has loopholes. I once suspected that one of my daughters was circumventing the restrictions. So I googled it and realised that there are countless instructions on the internet. Not cool!
Social media: Left alone as parents
Sometimes the topic frustrates me endlessly. I find it difficult that you can't orientate yourself on anything. I was educated in all other areas and can draw on experience. But when it comes to mobile phones and social media, I feel like I'm flying blind. And as a parent, you're completely left out in the cold.
The parents' evenings I attended on the subject remained superficial, theoretical and without any clear message. And the times that were perhaps still given are not feasible if you don't want to restrict communication. Besides, the kids also need the device for school. At some point, it was said that it would be good if they also had Teams on their mobile phones so as not to miss any assignments.
Snaps often come in late at night.
My daughters and I often discuss the rules, including the risks. Sometimes we argue, of course. «The others are allowed much longer,» they say. That's partly true. Because they have to put their mobile phones out of the room after 9.30 pm, I can hear the buzzing. Snaps often come in late at night. I often watch what they do on their devices. But do they show me everything? I don't know what I don't know. «It's all easy,» they tell me. And when we talk about risks: «We're not stupid.»
All this internet stuff has made my children's world bigger than it was for me back then. They have to make so many decisions. Where do I click, where don't I click? What do I send on and what not? Once the teacher called because one of my daughters had forwarded pictures - including one that wasn't OK. She hadn't looked at all of them carefully. When she did, she could understand the uproar.
Yes, my world was simpler. Sometimes I wish it was back for my daughters. But you can't completely ban them from social media either, I don't think.
