«Laughing together helps to overcome a lot»
Martina, 38, a long-term care specialist in geriatric psychiatry, and Martin Gerber, 40, an automotive diagnostician, live with their sons Timo, 13, and Leo, 11, in Sumiswald BE. They want to teach their children to stand up for their own opinions, but also to compromise.
Martina: "In the first few years with the children, I took on too much. I wanted to do everything too well and burnt out. After that, I learnt to be more relaxed - which is good for me and our family. I pay more attention to my needs and express them. For example, unlike my boys, I don't like action films. But everyone can express their wishes and is allowed to choose the TV programme.
I think it's important not to hide how you feel. When I'm angry, I don't swallow this feeling.
Martina, long-term care specialist
My family also often had to be considerate of me when I was skiing, as I don't like steep slopes. Through my behaviour, Timo and Leo are learning to stand up for themselves, to stand up for their opinions, but also to compromise and look out for others.
I also think it's important to show your feelings, not to hide how you feel. When I'm angry, I don't swallow the feeling. Like that time in winter. I came home and the boys had left the window open in the living room all day. It was freezing cold. I was really angry and explained why. We talked about it, they understood and then the issue was off the table. Which I'm really proud of: We're a really happy, funny family and we laugh a lot!"
A head of lettuce makes everyone laugh
Martin: "Yes, that's right! The other day, Martina sent the three of us shopping and told us to bring lettuce, among other things. When she wanted to wash it for lunch, she couldn't stop laughing. We ran into the kitchen - and she said that she had never seen such a tiny lettuce before! Her laughter infected us all. Of course, we realised at that moment how impossible it was to conjure up something for lunch from a head of lettuce the size of a tennis ball. Martina could have reacted with annoyance or anger - but she didn't.
I want my boys to take life seriously, but also see the funny side.
Martin, automotive diagnostician
Taking the humorous side of life can relax situations, forge bonds and create closeness. When Leo is tense, it helps to tickle him, then many things are only half as bad. With Timo, I make silly remarks, for example, if he doesn't want spaghetti, a sentence from Peach Weber like: «Immer wieder Nüdeli, das git es pfundigs Füdeli!» is enough. Then he grins and eats away. I want my boys to take life seriously, but also see the funny side. That makes for a positive attitude towards life."
