Is our self-esteem innate?

Mr Orth, many people believe that self-worth is innate. Is that true?

Self-esteem is indeed partly innate. However, environmental factors play a somewhat greater role than genes. Social experiences in particular have a formative influence, for example a child's relationships with its parents and peers or, later in adulthood, the quality of partnerships, friendships and the person's general social integration.

So there is no self-esteem gene?

No. Certain human characteristics such as personality, appearance and health are influenced by a variety of genetic factors. Such genetically determined characteristics then play a part in determining the many experiences a person has in their life. Compatible, intelligent and socially competent people are more likely to be valued by others and consequently develop a better self-esteem than people who are less liked.

You recently published a study on the influence of parents on self-esteem. What are the key findings?

For this study, I used data from a representative long-term population study from the USA, in which several thousand children were followed from birth to adulthood. The results showed that the quality of parenting behaviour was the best predictor of children's later self-esteem. The analyses also suggested that the early family environment has a long-term effect. Although the influence became somewhat smaller in the course of development, it did not disappear, but was still observable in adulthood.

So experiences from early childhood can shape a person's self-esteem throughout their entire life?

Correct. However, the influence of early childhood is not deterministic: positive development is also possible in unfavourable family circumstances, just as, conversely, problematic development is possible despite good family circumstances.

As a parent, you often get the feeling that younger children have a lot of self-confidence. Is that true?

It has long been assumed that self-perception at the age of four or five tends to be overly positive, that the self-image begins to become more realistic around the time children start school and that this leads to a loss of self-esteem in many children. However, research shows that this is not the case. Typically, self-esteem increases from pre-school age to around the age of ten to twelve and then remains at this level during the years of puberty.

Those who have a lot of self-doubt at the age of 16 often have a somewhat weaker self-esteem at the age of 30 or 50.

So puberty is not a time of crisis for self-esteem?

Of course, there are young people whose self-esteem reaches a low point during puberty. At the same time, however, there are also teenagers who develop more self-acceptance at this age. The well-being of teenagers is often not as bad as people assume. The idea that self-esteem reaches a low point in puberty could be related to the fact that it fluctuates more from day to day at this age than it does in adulthood. It is not uncommon for teenagers to temporarily experience strong self-doubt after a fight with friends or a failed exam.

How does self-esteem develop after puberty?

In later adolescence and adulthood, self-esteem generally continues to rise until the age of around 60 or 70, although life events such as the start of a relationship, a separation or a serious illness can influence the individual's progression. Only in old age does self-esteem typically decline again somewhat.

Why does self-esteem become stronger and stronger over the years?

In the course of their development, most young people and adults find a place that suits their personality, abilities, attitudes and interests, both professionally and privately. This is probably an important reason why self-esteem increases over large parts of the lifespan. However, these are changes that take place over many years. There are generally no radical changes in self-esteem. This means that those who have a lot of self-doubt at the age of 16 often have a somewhat weaker self-esteem at the age of 30 or 50, at least compared to their own age group.

Having good self-esteem also means accepting yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.

Do our social relationships have a greater effect on our self-esteem than work and career?

Yes, this is confirmed by a meta-analysis on the role of social relationships that we recently conducted in my working group. The results showed that social relationships and social integration have a significant influence on self-esteem at any age.

Interestingly, it was also found that the connection between social relationships and a person's self-esteem is reciprocal. This means that good social relationships promote self-esteem and, at the same time, high self-esteem leads to a further improvement in social integration. Unfortunately, this also means that people with low self-esteem can fall into a vicious circle of self-doubt and negative social experiences. This makes it all the more important to promote self-esteem in children and young people.

Is self-esteem dependent on gender?

On average, boys and men have slightly higher self-esteem than girls and women. However, this difference is really small. There are many girls who have high self-esteem and, conversely, boys who have low self-esteem. The characteristics overlap considerably. Research also shows that gender does not have a significant influence on the development of self-esteem, meaning that boys, just like girls, typically develop towards greater self-acceptance over the course of their development.

Is self-doubt bad?

Self-doubt is not harmful per se. However, low self-esteem is unfortunately a risk factor for the development of problems in social relationships, at school, at work and for the development of depression. Having good self-esteem also means accepting yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses. It is therefore important to help some children and young people to develop a constructive and benevolent attitude towards themselves.