«I don't want to go to camp with my class»

«Why don't you ask Sarah?»

Our class is going to a camp soon. But I definitely don't want to go. As a convinced vegetarian, I simply can't stand it when everyone else at the table eats meat. That's terrible for me! And then they sometimes pester me about it too. What's more, I can't sleep away from home, which was already the case at the last camp. I often have stomach ache when I think about the camp. What can I do so that I don't have to go?
Alina, 12

Dear Alina
I think it's really great that you stand up for yourself and eat vegetarian food, regardless of whether everyone else around you eats meat. That takes a lot of self-confidence, especially when you get stupid comments from your class. But please don't let that put you off. At the age of twelve, you have already formed an opinion on an important topic and are living by it. That's more than many others do. I have great respect for your attitude.

On the other topic, the upcoming camp, I can tell you that unfortunately I know a lot of schoolchildren who are just as reluctant to go to camp as you are. There are quite a few girls and boys who feel insecure and uncomfortable when they can't sleep at home and are away from home for several days. Some are really scared because of this. And anxiety can lead to stomach aches, headaches, sleep problems and other physical complaints. Such stress symptoms make life difficult. Because even the best camp programme is no fun if you have a stomach ache, is it?

Of course, there are also lots of children who really enjoy going to camp: They look forward to lots of fun moments with their classmates, an exciting programme during the day and fun and games in the evening. Munching on snacks is just as much a part of it as chatting and laughing before going to sleep.

Making a homesickness folder

If you suffer from homesickness, I can recommend making a «homesickness folder». It works like this:

1. Take a cardboard folder that can be opened and closed again with two elastic bands. You can buy these in many places for little money.

2. Stick a paper circle in the centre of the open folder. Draw 8 pizza slices on it. And in each piece, write an idea of what you can do to distract yourself at camp if you feel homesick.

For example:

• talk to a friend

• Run around the warehouse once

• count from 50 return in English or French

• play a game with the others

• Solve puzzles

• etc.

3. Stick envelopes of different sizes onto the empty spaces on the inside of the folder. Put something different in each envelope: jokes, flat chewing gum, a photo of yourself (where you are doing really well), lucky charms, Sudoku, crossword puzzles, mandalas to colour in.

As soon as you feel unwell in the camp, you can take out the folder and occupy yourself with it. This will distract you and after about twenty minutes you will feel better again.

Personally, I don't think anyone should have to force themselves to go to a camp. But it would certainly be a good experience if you gave it a go anyway. Even if it doesn't work out and your parents have to pick you up again - it's definitely worth a try.

Sometimes you just need the security of knowing that you can cancel the whole thing if it gets really unbearably bad. Your parents should therefore definitely inform the school that you are under so much stress because of the camp. Teachers are familiar with this phenomenon and should be able to offer you and your parents an emergency plan. And if you do have to leave the camp early with your class, you can still be very proud of yourself: Because at least you tried!

You usually have a good reason for not taking part in certain class activities. Therefore, you should not be criticised for this.

Basically, I don't think that pupils who don't manage to take part in certain class activities such as school trips, sports days or camps should be criticised for this. After all, they usually have a good reason why they find it so difficult to take part. It's already unpleasant enough for them that they can't do it - there's no need to put them under pressure and make them feel guilty.

These children will be able to complete their school career without camps and the like. And later in life, they won't be forced to go to a camp, will they?

Find the right solution

I hope that your parents and teacher will see it the same way and help you to either try the camp or offer you another option. Other students I met, for example, were allowed to sleep in a single room, which gave them the privacy and peace they needed. Others were allowed to make brief phone calls to their parents every day. And still others stayed at home and attended lessons in another class during that week.

I hope that you too can find a suitable solution for yourself.