How parents support their child in choosing a career

The answer comes straight away. «Not right now!» exclaims the 14-year-old as soon as his parents turn the conversation to possible apprenticeships - and disappears behind the games console again. His cousin is completely different: «I know what I want to be!» the 15-year-old announces confidently. Father and mother are briefly full of hope - until their daughter shouts «Influencer!» and the parental relief bursts like soap bubbles.

In fact, both scenarios are predestined to give parents sleepless nights. How nice it was when the next step in your child's future consisted solely of maths exams or vocabulary tests. Just when everything is in a state of hormonal upheaval and young people are already overwhelmed with normal everyday activities, they also have to deal with the question «What do I want to be?». 14 or 15-year-olds who have just been playing Playmobil are suddenly expected to look for taster apprenticeships.

Influencer or Youtuber? Parents should take every career aspiration of their child seriously - no matter what it is, advises the expert.

According to the Federal Statistical Office, two thirds of young people in Switzerland opt for basic vocational training - and thus enter the world of work after completing compulsory schooling. There are around 240 professions to choose from. What role do parents play in this? How should they ideally support their children as they enter the adult world?

Out of the comfort zone

«All studies show that Mothers and fathers play the most important role in their children's career choices,» says Giuliana Lamberti. She founded the Strong Parents - Strong Youth advice centre in Zurich to support mothers and fathers during the transition period from school to vocational training - free of charge and in several languages, especially for parents who are unfamiliar with the Swiss education system.

Cornelia Dellmann, career, study and careers adviser at the BIZ Uster ZH careers information centre, says: «Above all, parents should give children confidence and courage.» After all, children are forced to leave their comfort zone during this transitional phase - which is always associated with certain worries, fears and uncertainties. «It is helpful here if there is a strong relationship between parents and young people and children have a certain basic trust - then they usually also master the transition from school to the world of work well,» says Dellmann.

Parents are therefore companions during the phases of finding a career - for example, when the first step is to find out: «What talents and interests do I actually have?» It is important to let your children talk about their ideas and visions. «Of course, parents know their children best and are therefore in a good position to assess their strengths,» says Lamberti.

At the same time, however, mum and dad need to be clear: «It's not our dreams that should come true, but those of the child.» In conversations with the offspring, it is therefore important to provide encouragement without being too controlling. In the sense of «You're good at everything to do with maths» or «If you do something crafty, you'll blossom». In short, parents should approach young people with a relaxed, benevolent attitude and trust that they will find the right path.

Realistic assessments are perfectly acceptable («You're always outside and on the move - I don't see you sitting behind a computer for eight hours»). The same applies to subject knowledge. «I wouldn't stop someone who has really bad maths grades at secondary school B and wants to become a computer scientist,» says specialist Lamberti, «but I would at least point out that it will be difficult.»

But what should you do if your daughter wants to do a nursing apprenticeship, for example, but her parents are convinced? «It's not for her at all»? «Let her do it!» says Lamberti. «That's exactly why we have taster apprenticeships, so that pupils can get a more concrete picture of their vague ideas.» In many cases, young people surpass themselves anyway, according to the expert's experience: «They are often capable of things that their parents would never have believed them capable of.»

Take wishes seriously

It is a little more difficult when the career aspirations of the next generation are influencer, Youtuber, actress or deep-sea diver - professions that many parents would prefer to dismiss with «That won't work anyway!». Careers counsellor Dellmann advises here too: «Don't make excuses straight away, but take it seriously - no matter what it is.» She believes that wishes should always be accepted - even if parents are confronted with their fears («Can it work?», «Will she be able to feed herself like this?»). «But parents have to come to terms with that.»

In fact, professions are changing extremely quickly these days. «Nobody knows exactly what a secure employer will be in ten years' time,» the career counsellor points out. If the next generation has a clear idea of their future career - however far-fetched this may sound from the parents' point of view - it is therefore important to look together: What training will help you get closer to your goal? «The great thing about our education system is that it is very permeable,» says Cornelia Dellmann.

Young people do decide on a career path at around the age of 14. «But it's just the first step on the path they follow for the next three to four years. After that, all paths are still open to them.»

Giuliana Lamberti agrees: «The first choice is by no means the last. Anyone who learns carpentry today will not practise this profession for the rest of their lives.» Of course, it is important that the chosen apprenticeship is interesting and fun. Otherwise, three years could be very long.

«Some young people don't choose their dream job at first,» says the specialist. «Some don't even know exactly what it is at this early stage - that often only develops over time.» However, it is helpful if the rough direction is clear: «If someone wants to become a theatre lighting technician, they might start by learning to be an electrician,» says Lamberti, «then at least the tendency is right.»

The most important thing when choosing a career is for parents to have a positive attitude.

Cornelia Dellmann, career counsellor

The topic of career choice is often more difficult for parents than for the children directly affected by it. This is why Giuliana Lamberti once founded the Starke Eltern - Starke Jugend association. «The best way to combat fears and insecurity is to get specific information,» she is convinced.

Cornelia Dellmann advises parents and apprenticeship seekers: «Go to the careers advice centre together or to careers fairs such as Swiss Skills. There are great offers and workshops there.» A joint visit with the offspring not only encourages interest in the career choice process, but also strengthens the parent-child relationship. What's more: «As a mum, if I know exactly what a polytechnician does because I was able to talk to the vocational trainer at the fair, I have a clear advantage.» This is also an opportunity for young and old alike to find out what exciting training profiles there are. «Such shared experiences are fun,» says Dellmann. And they are all better than constantly reminding young people to finally decide on an apprenticeship.

Especially if the offspring don't really want to deal with the topic, a positive attitude from the parents towards the career choice is the be-all and end-all. «Mum and dad need to believe in their child's strengths and talents and convey how exciting the whole thing is,» says the BIZ advisor. Pressure, on the other hand, will not achieve anything.

Giuliana Lamberti agrees: «At best, pressure causes young people to turn away even more,» she is convinced. Her advice to parents in this situation? «Have a little patience! Maybe your offspring just aren't ready yet.» It's not for nothing that there are bridging programmes such as the 10th school year, preparatory schools, motivational semesters or an exchange abroad. «No one has ever found a suitable apprenticeship under duress.»

«Choosing a career doesn't happen overnight,» says Cornelia Dellmann. Rather, the whole thing is a process in which you have to find out: Who am I? And what suits me? These are questions that cannot be answered off the cuff. The BIZ counsellor always finds it exciting to see how young people change during this process.

Parents would do well to practise patience during this time, let go of their own expectations and trust that their daughter or son will take the right path for them, Dellmann knows. «That's what makes being a parent so exciting,» says the mum of a 22-year-old and a 19-year-old: «Because by watching your offspring find their way, you also develop as a parent. And you learn a lot about yourself in the process.»