«I'm fed up with school.»

«Ask Sarah!»

I think I'm tired of school. I'm in Year 9 now, but I don't really care about anything. Sure, my grades are rubbish. My teachers punish me for every little thing. My parents are constantly pressuring me about finding an apprenticeship. But I haven't found anything yet. The only things I enjoy are gaming and going to the gym.
Hamza, 15 

Dear Hamza    

You describe your situation so accurately that I can really imagine how you feel. What comes across most of all is: pressure, pressure, pressure.  

Pressure is not only unpleasant, it also hinders your learning.

Your assumption that you might be tired of school seems to me to be a valid analysis. And I think that many pupils at the end of their compulsory schooling, i.e. in the eighth or ninth grade, feel the same way as you do: adults focus exclusively on your school-leaving qualifications and vocational training. But you young people are slowly running out of energy and motivation.        

Of course, all of this is extremely important: it is important that you finish school. And even more important that you find something good afterwards: a place where you can do your apprenticeship or go to further education.

What else is important in your life

But school and education aren't the only important things happening in your life right now. At your age – you're in the middle of puberty – there are so many other things going on. For example:

• You are growing. Boys your age can shoot up to ten centimetres per year. Your body is changing dramatically. And that requires an incredible amount of energy.

• Perhaps you have already fallen in love? First sexual experiences and heartbreak are all part of it.  

• Even at your young age, you are already deciding what is important to you in life and what you want to get involved in. Whether it's sport, social engagement or politics – as a child, you didn't give it much thought, but today you may be thinking about it more.

I could list more topics, but you can already see that it is perfectly clear that you cannot just focus on school, because these other areas are also important and require energy.        

Pressure from teachers

I notice that you are under a lot of external pressure. This is not only extremely unpleasant for you, but it also hinders your ability to learn, or rather, to absorb and retain school material. To reduce this pressure, we should look at the various sources of pressure individually:  

You write that your teachers are constantly punishing you. There are probably reasons for this. Please be honest with yourself: what have your teachers said to you about what bothers them about your behaviour at school? Is it talking and disrupting lessons? Do you often forget your homework or your parents' signatures?

A gap year can sometimes be more sensible than rushing headlong into an apprenticeship.

It is usually things like this that cause a pupil to stand out in a negative way. At some point, so much accumulates that the teachers no longer have much patience or understanding left. I do not mean this to excuse the teachers, but to find an explanation for their reactions.

If you want your teachers to give you another chance, you need to make a change – only you can get yourself out of this bad situation and back into a good one. Explain to your teacher that you want to try harder in future – and set yourself one or two goals that you can actually achieve.    

Pressure from parents

At home, pressure comes from your parents. It's about your vocational training. Here, too, too much pressure is counterproductive. Discuss with your parents that you need their support to find the right vocational training. Explain to them that you take the matter seriously if they help you.

If in doubt, there is always the 10th year of school – but do you really want to go to school for another year? Some pupils benefit from taking a gap year. Not only to recover from their school days, but also to figure out what they want to do next. I think this option makes much more sense than rushing headlong into an apprenticeship. During a gap year, you could do an internship or a language course abroad, for example.        

If you approach your situation with the same sense of responsibility that you showed in asking for advice here, everything will improve.

I think it's great that you pursue your hobbies. Going to the gym means you're keeping yourself physically fit. That's the best way to clear your head. Free for learning, free for choosing a career, and of course free for all other youth issues.    

If you approach your situation with the same sense of responsibility that you showed in asking for advice here, everything will improve – step by step, one thing at a time.

Good luck.