How can we slow down family life?

Faster, higher, further - that's the maxim of modern life. In the 1980s, when the yuppies were born and the global economy took off, it was the slogan of a generation hungry for success, hurtling through life in the fast lane.

Today, they are in their mid-fifties and reminisce about the golden years when anything was possible on the labour market as long as you wanted it enough. With the economic downturn in the nineties, this ease evaporated.

If you're on your toes, you're on your game. What a fallacy!

What remained was busyness, this time in bitter earnest. Stress has become a widespread disease - and a status symbol: If you're on the ball, you're on the ball. Then, in the noughties, the digital revolution stepped up the pace once again: why do one thing at a time when you can do everything in one go?

And now this: those who were recently praying for the IPO are fleeing to a monastery to take time out. Managers want to «slow down» in the Alps, and yoga studios that invite you to switch off are springing up like mushrooms.

Short on cash, long on time

Young people are less and less interested in fast cars and high-flying careers, many want to work part-time and are trying, with varying degrees of success, to live life according to the pleasure principle. «People are longing for more slowness,» says sociologist Fritz Reheis, "because they are suffering from a time regime that has become detached from our natural rhythm.

In the past, our biological clock, time of day and season determined when we should work and rest. Now economic constraints set the pace." Reheis is a professor at the University of Bamberg and his books have titles such as «The Creativity of Slowness: New Prosperity through Deceleration». Slowing down is generally regarded as an endeavour to counteract the senseless haste and hectic pace of our everyday lives.

Parents, like managers, seem to be a particularly stress-ridden species. There is an almost endless selection of literature in bookshops that is supposed to provide a remedy. However, no guide seems to have come up with a brilliant idea yet. There is no other explanation for the fact that parents are the constant focus of stress researchers.

How can we become more relaxed?

In the «Families and Stress» analysis conducted by the Zurich University of Applied Sciences in 2013, half of the 362 mothers and fathers surveyed stated that they were plagued by stress.

A study of 1000 people conducted by the market research institute Forsa this year came to the conclusion that over 60 per cent of German parents feel rushed, hurried and under time pressure in their everyday lives. If the respondents had one wish, 40 per cent of them would like to be wealthier, followed in second place (38 per cent) by the wish for more serenity.

We should pay more attention to what is important to us.

Fritz Reheis, sociologist

How do we manage to be calm? «We should pay more attention to what is really important to us. And for many people, that means exchanging material wealth for time wealth,» says sociologist Reheis.

To ensure that this does not remain a luxury for the few, politicians need to create the right framework conditions. Reheis is in favour of an unconditional basic income, for example, which would allow people to devote a large part of their time to what is important to them - their partner, their children, a hobby.

If you don't want to wait for politicians, you have to act yourself. Then the only way to more relaxation, or time prosperity, as Reheis calls it, is through smaller demands.

The now prominent example of a former software engineer from Colorado shows how this can be achieved. Pete, who keeps his surname to himself, worked for software giant Cisco and had a promising career ahead of him. At 30, he resigned - and retired.

Save, live modestly, show bite

On his blog «Mr Money Mustache», which has also made it into the German-language media, the family man gives financial and life tips on how to turn the dream of a simple but decelerated life into reality. Followers from all over the world ask for advice in the forum.

As unconventional as the author is, his recipes are just as tangible: save, live modestly, show bite. Pete says he made sure early on that he didn't waste anything. And he worked a lot - for a few years. «We rode bikes, ate at home, didn't go on holiday.» Pete and his wife saved more than half of their income.

Our lifestyle is pretty normal. We have a house, four computers and organic food.

Pete, retired at 30

The couple invested part of their money in the stock market and used the other to buy a cheap old house in cash, which they renovated themselves and later rented out. «At some point, our passive income from share dividends and rental income reached an amount that was enough to cover our daily living expenses. For a family with one child, that's 25,000 dollars a year.»

Pete reinvests some of the profits from the share business as a reserve for emergencies. His family car is practical, but not fancy, and the family orders furniture, household appliances and toys online and second-hand. Nevertheless, Pete says: «Our lifestyle is pretty normal. It includes a house, four computers and organic food.»

Sure: in this story, the main protagonist has an above-average education, he most likely earns very well and has a knack for financial transactions. This is not something that can be arbitrarily transferred to ordinary people. Is idleness something for the privileged?

There are people who have no choice

We ask Mark Riklin, sociologist from St. Gallen and Swiss country representative in the «Association for the Delay of Time». The international network has around 700 members from various professional groups, all of whom want to encourage a mindful approach to time.

«It would be unfair to claim that everyone can afford to be idle to the same extent,» says Riklin. Telling single parents or low-income earners to take a more relaxed approach to their lives would be tantamount to a slap in the face. «There are people who have no choice in this regard. But there is a much larger group of people who could reduce their stress - if they make a conscious decision to do so.»

Slowing down starts with not making ourselves slaves to our standard of living

Mark Riklin, sociologist

The magic word is «self-restraint». Riklin explains: «You can make sacrifices elsewhere in favour of a better quality of life.» Riklin, a father of two, makes them in favour of material goods. In addition to working as a lecturer, he is a freelancer. His wife teaches school one afternoon a week, otherwise she is there for their two daughters.

The family lives in an apartment building, swaps children's clothes with friends and shares a car with the neighbours. The daughters occasionally collect their toys from the local toy shop, where they bring them back when they want something new. «Slowing down starts with this,» Riklin believes, «that we don't make ourselves slaves to our standard of living.»

Self-restraint means making sacrifices in favour of a better quality of life.

You don't have to become an early retiree or lead a meagre life if you want to relax a little in your everyday life. «Above all, slowing down means distinguishing the essential from the non-essential,» says Riklin.

In everyday life, the «emergency to-do list», an invention of the association to delay time, can be helpful. «With everything we undertake, it helps to think carefully every now and then about what is really necessary. The rest goes on the list.»

News is to the mind what sugar is to the body.

Rolf Dobelli, author and entrepreneur

Riklin's own list includes many little things and, as a permanent substitute, so to speak, news consumption. The family man was inspired by the St. Gallen writer and entrepreneur Rolf Dobelli, who in an essay «advocates a healthy news diet» and explains why he doesn't consume news: «News is to the mind what sugar is to the body. News are trivial tidbits that don't really satisfy our hunger for knowledge. Unlike books and good magazine articles, there is no satiety when consuming news. We can devour vast amounts of news, but it remains cheap sugar candy for the mind.»

The decision not to buy a television has probably benefited his partnership in particular, says Riklin. «Whenever possible, my wife and I meet at the kitchen table late at night. We reflect on everyday life over a glass of wine. It's relaxing and brings us together.» He often used to watch television at this time, «I would have been too tired afterwards for a conversation», says Riklin.

Do less, live more slowly

Slowing down doesn't just mean taking it easy, it also means enjoying the finer things in life and investing overtime in love instead of your job.

Children in particular are excellent at showing us the beauty in the everyday. If we let them, they are naturally more leisurely travellers. They are amazed by simple things: the sound of the stream, an animal making funny noises.

We shake our heads when young people claim «chilling out» as a hobby, but secretly envy their ability to immerse themselves in the moment. Children are masters at what is called monotasking. It means devoting yourself to a single thing or person.

Meanwhile, our society is mainly familiar with the opposite, multitasking. It is the dubious art of doing several things at once. Once hailed as a key skill, multitasking is now increasingly being criticised.

So let's do less from now on - and above all, let's do it slowly.

Stefan Rieger, Professor of Media History and Communication Theory

Studies suggest that it not only leads to poorer work results, but also harms our brains. It creates pressure that promotes personality disorders. In his book «Multitasking. The Economy of Fission», Stefan Rieger, Professor of Media History and Communication Theory at the University of Bochum, compares the human brain to a bottleneck that cannot be expanded at will: Several things simply don't go through at the same time. Rieger calls for deceleration: «So let's do less from now on - and above all, let's do it slowly.»

Children can be a role model for us - but only if we are prepared to treat their rhythm with respect. «Every child has their own inner timetable that needs to be respected,» says Riklin. His seven-year-old daughter demonstrated this impressively recently when she didn't want to come out of her room after the usual hour of nap time. «She said she wasn't finished resting yet.»

Time to dream, dawdle, do nothing: in our fast-paced society, it is a rare commodity. And one that we can never give our children enough of - unlike expensive clothes and toys.