Highly sensitive: So sensitive and so strong!
Sensitivity is a good quality. Who would doubt that? There are countless examples in our everyday lives that show us this time and time again. There is the third-grader who sees the joy of a good exam grade in the person sitting next to her - and beams with her. Or the father who patiently listens to his teenage daughter's first heartbreak, understands her tears and gives her a hug. There is the colleague who recognises the tense atmosphere in a meeting without explanation and offers a solution.
All of this is possible because our sensitivity allows us to recognise signals, perceive the feelings of others, establish a connection and act accordingly. Those who are sensitive can sometimes sense without words how a situation and the other person are feeling.
There are few positive terms associated with high sensitivity: difficulties in social interaction, hypersensitivity, emotional overload.
Sensitive people react to subtle signs - an expression on the face, a sigh or a small change in behaviour. This ability to recognise emotional subtleties is the foundation for empathy. And we know that empathy is the glue that holds our society together.
If sensitivity is so important, a particularly high level of sensitivity should actually be desirable. After all, we look with admiration at highly intelligent or highly gifted people, at the top performances of professional athletes. A «high sensitivity» could therefore be seen as particularly valuable for human interaction. Various studies also suggest that a high level of sensitivity has evolutionary advantages and has therefore become established as a personality trait.
But what exactly characterises high sensitivity? How can it be recognised and what challenges and opportunities are associated with it for children and their parents? This dossier sheds light on what high sensitivity means and how parents can best support their highly sensitive children in order to promote healthy development.
Advantages of high sensitivity
Psychologist Elaine Aron, a pioneer in the field of high sensitivity research, argues in her work that sensitive people acted as «guardians» in earlier communities. They were the ones who became aware of subtle changes or dangers in the environment at an early stage and were thus able to protect the group from threats. Their heightened perception and ability to accurately interpret emotional and sensory stimuli was essential for survival.
Michael Plüss, a Swiss developmental psychologist and professor at the University of Surrey in England, has been researching high sensitivity in children for over 15 years. «From an evolutionary perspective, high sensitivity has the advantage that children who are more aware of and penetrate their environment are better able to adapt. This sensitivity could have contributed to survival in certain contexts,» he says.
All mimosas?
However, the common image that many people have of high sensitivity is not very positive. Instead, terms such as «hypersensitivity», «difficulties in socialising» or «emotional overload» are associated with it.
A highly sensitive child is not necessarily perceived as particularly attentive to their environment or particularly sensitive, but rather as «too sensitive». To a certain extent, this is even understandable, as high sensitivity can disrupt everyday routines.
Kathrin Borghoff, mother of a highly sensitive child and author of various books on the subject, describes it like this: «From sleep to eating behaviour to clothing, you can't simply say: «Never mind, it'll be fine.» Instead, the leggings shouldn't be scratchy, the food shouldn't be flavoured and the child has never slept through the night anyway.»
Highly sensitive children quickly feel overwhelmed by noise and commotion at school and are therefore considered mimosas. They like to take a joke personally and can't simply shrug it off. They are distressed when they have to deal with difficult content and have nightmares about medieval history lessons, for example. At first glance at least, high sensitivity seems to bring more challenges than advantages.
How do I recognise whether my child is highly sensitive?
In public discourse, high sensitivity is sometimes treated like a diagnosis or a medical condition. According to Michael Plüss, «high sensitivity is not a behavioural or psychological disorder, but a temperamental or personality trait, just like many other characteristics».
Around 47 per cent of sensitivity is genetic, while the rest is influenced by environmental factors. «In twin studies, we have found that high sensitivity is strongly influenced by genetics. However, environmental factors also play an important role in how this predisposition develops,» says Plüss.
Highly sensitive children find it difficult to set themselves apart.
Jeannine Donzé, remedial teacher
This genetic basis is reflected in neurological factors: because highly sensitive people have a particularly reactive nervous system that reacts more strongly to external and internal stimuli, environmental factors, in particular positive or negative educational experiences, have a considerable influence on the development of highly sensitive children.
«Children who grow up in a supportive and nurturing environment benefit particularly strongly from their sensitivity and develop strong social and emotional skills. In a stressful or overwhelming environment, on the other hand, high sensitivity can become a burden,» is the result of Michael Plüss' studies.
Four main characteristics for highly sensitive children
- Thorough information processing: Highly sensitive children process stimuli more deeply and often think about experiences for a long time.
- Rapid overstimulation, as highly sensitive children perceive more and more intensively.
- The emotional intensity: everything they experience, whether joy or pain, they feel more strongly.
- Sensory sensitivity, which manifests itself in a greater perception of sensory stimuli such as light or sound.
Are there parallels between ADHD and high sensitivity?
Jeannine Donzé, curative teacher and psychological counsellor with her own practice in Bern, specialises in counselling parents and families in addition to supporting adults with high sensitivity. She confirms the misunderstandings and uncertainty that are often associated with high sensitivity: «Parents come to me and ask themselves: is my child normal? Does it perhaps have a disorder such as ADHD or autism?»
Jeannine Donzé then explains to these parents the special features of reception and processing that a highly sensitive disposition entails: «Highly sensitive children perceive the smallest stimuli, such as a quiet noise or a visual detail, that others miss. At the same time, they process these stimuli more intensively, which often exhausts them more quickly.»
- Scientifically based questionnaires for parents and children are a common and reliable method for assessing high sensitivity.
- Further information and corresponding questionnaires can be found on the website sensitivityresearch.com, which was created by developmental psychologist Michael Plüss and other experts.
- Behavioural observations by psychologists and interviews with parents, teachers and the child offer a supplementary, more in-depth analysis.
In fact, there are similarities between ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and high sensitivity when dealing with external impressions. There is a so-called openness to stimuli, which results in easy distractibility. However, while highly sensitive children function well in calmer, low-stimulus situations, children with ADHD often have persistent problems directing their attention, regardless of the environment.
How do highly sensitive children interact socially?
Highly sensitive children sometimes have difficulties in social interactions as they react particularly intensely to interpersonal signals and emotions. Jeannine Donzé explains: «Due to their great capacity for empathy, these children can find it difficult to set boundaries. They often find it difficult to distinguish where their own feelings end and the feelings of others begin, which can lead to excessive demands in social situations.»
Developmental psychologist Michael Plüss adds that highly sensitive children often have a strong need for attachment: «However, they can become overwhelmed if they are surrounded by negative emotions or conflicts. As a result, it is not unlikely that they will withdraw or have difficulties gaining a foothold in social groups.»
Highly sensitive children often withdraw when they are surrounded by negative emotions and conflicts.
Michael Plüss, developmental psychologist
At school, this can lead to them being perceived as shy by other children. One boy described by Plüss in his research regularly withdrew from group activities at school when conflicts or loud discussions arose. He needed quieter environments and friendships where he felt emotionally safe.
What are possible abnormalities at school?
At school, and sometimes even in kindergarten, highly sensitive children can face additional challenges due to their intensive stimulus processing and high level of perfectionism. Michael Plüss says: «Because highly sensitive children are more easily distracted by external stimuli, they sometimes need more time to complete tasks. They tend to be more aware of their surroundings and interpersonal relationships, which can distract them.»
Sometimes even a classroom with a window overlooking a noisy street or the creaking chair of the person sitting next to them can be too much of a distraction. This constant awareness of their surroundings often triggers internal psychological stress and can make it difficult for them to concentrate on schoolwork, which can lead to performance problems.
The strong introspection and the feeling of being different can also have a negative impact on self-esteem. Both can result in them falling short of their potential achievements. According to Jeannine Donzé, many of these children show «strong fluctuations between high performance and activation of the nervous system and phases of exhaustion». They have a strong need for structure and calm in order to process their inner stress, but this is often difficult to realise in a school context.
What talents does high sensitivity entail?
Highly sensitive children have exceptional perception and observation skills. Michael Plüss has found that «these children often have a greater depth in processing information. They perceive more details and are able to process this information at a deeper level.» As a result, they develop a sound understanding in many areas of life, which makes them attentive and resourceful problem solvers.
This pronounced perception can be noticeable in everyday situations, for example when highly sensitive children notice small details in their surroundings that others miss, or when they immediately recognise subtle changes in the mood of others in social interactions.
«Due to their intense perception and their deep emotional world, highly sensitive children often show a special talent in the artistic and musical field,» says Kathrin Berweger. The giftedness expert from Zurich has supported countless families with highly sensitive and gifted children over many years.
One of her special methods is «Marte Meo » - a video-based counselling technique that supports parents in making their communication and interaction with their child more sensitive and effective. To summarise, highly sensitive children are not only sensitive, but also particularly creative and analytically strong.
How can I support my highly sensitive child?
High sensitivity is often the subject of controversy, as some consider the topic to be exaggerated or unnecessarily pathologised. Critics believe that high sensitivity is often used as a «fashionable term» to explain behaviour that would otherwise be considered normal or commonplace. The assumption is that if children are identified as highly sensitive, they are being mollycoddled.
Highly sensitive children need a way to regulate themselves. Be it through yoga, exercise or drawing.
Kathrin Berweger, talent promoter
Developmental psychologist Michael Plüss says that this is by no means the aim of research into high sensitivity. It is important that highly sensitive children learn to cope with stressful situations and are not protected from them. «The answer is not to protect the child from all difficulties, but to help them deal well with challenging moments and develop resilience,» says Plüss. Parents should therefore teach their children coping strategies that are tailored to the child's individual needs.
How can transitions be better managed?
Transitions are a particularly challenging area for highly sensitive children, such as moving from one activity to the next: from school to home, from holidays to everyday life, from play to bed. Such transitions can cause stress and uncertainty in highly sensitive children, as they need time to emotionally detach themselves from one situation and find their way into a new one. This is referred to as «adjustment stress».
Jeannine Donzé describes how «highly sensitive children find transitions particularly difficult because they are often deeply anchored in an activity or feeling. An abrupt change can overwhelm them.» Kathrin Berweger recommends clearly announcing transitions and making them as gentle as possible: «Highly sensitive children need more time to adjust to changes.»
What are the benefits of rest periods?
In addition to clear transitions, the regular integration of rest and stress-relief phases also plays a central role in dealing with highly sensitive children. These phases help them to avoid sensory overload and stabilise themselves emotionally. Such breaks can slow down everyday life and give the child the opportunity to regroup.
Kathrin Berweger, who specialises in supporting gifted children, explains that various activities and techniques can help to cope with stress: «It depends very much on the individual child as to what is helpful. Some children respond very well to techniques such as children's yoga, others need to burn off energy with lots of exercise to reduce stress. Activities such as drawing or spending time in nature also offer highly sensitive children a way to calm down and regulate themselves.»
To create a supportive environment for highly sensitive children, it is important to provide a calm and structured atmosphere at home and at school. This can help to calm the nervous system.
How does communication help?
In addition to rest breaks, the way in which parents communicate with their child also plays a decisive role. Highly sensitive children are often particularly sensitive to non-verbal signals and moods in their environment. It is therefore important not only to pay attention to the child's physical needs, but also to encourage supportive, understanding communication.
Co-regulation by the parents plays a major role here. This can be achieved through reassuring coaxing, singing or humming, eye contact, an encouraging smile or physical contact. Pets or nature also have a regulating effect on the nervous system.
Jeannine Donzé suggests giving the child a «word track»: «It's about helping the child to name their emotions, i.e. to consciously lead them into self-awareness, which is the prerequisite for them to learn to feel and formulate their needs.»
This promotes self-awareness - i.e. awareness of one's own feelings and reactions - and self-regulation, which means that the child is better able to deal with, control or process difficult feelings. In this way, they become more independent and can use their sensitivity as a strength instead of allowing themselves to be dominated by overwhelming emotions.
When should professional help be sought?
If highly sensitive children suffer greatly from stress and their sensitivity to stimuli, it may make sense to seek professional help. Jeannine Donzé describes that signs such as sleep disorders, susceptibility to infections, psychosomatic complaints (e.g. stomach aches or headaches) or truancy can indicate that the child is overwhelmed.
There are various ways to support highly sensitive children. Kathrin Berweger recommends focusing on playful and mindfulness-based therapies and support that help the child's emotional development: «Methods that aim to gently promote self-awareness and emotional regulation can help the child learn to recognise their own needs and deal better with the challenges of high sensitivity.»
Sensitivity affects us all: everyone is sensitive
Another important aspect of dealing with highly sensitive children is understanding that sensitivity is not just a special characteristic of a few people, but affects us all. Highly sensitive children are at the upper end of a spectrum, which means that their perceptions are more intense and their emotional reactions more pronounced. However, people with lower sensitivity also react to their environment - just to a lesser extent.
Parents need to help their child deal with the particular challenges of their sensitivity and develop their unique abilities.
People in the highly sensitive category are often compared to «orchids», which require optimal care but blossom particularly strongly in the right environment. The group with lower sensitivity is referred to as «dandelions», as these people are adaptable and robust. The group in between, the «tulips», shows a balance between sensitivity and robustness. It is important that none of these dispositions are considered wrong - each has its strengths and specialities that are worth nurturing and appreciating.
Parents of highly sensitive children play a central role in their development. They must help their children to recognise their own needs and at the same time give them the space to use their sensitivity as a strength. By providing a caring and supportive environment, highly sensitive children can learn to deal with the challenges of their sensitivity while developing their unique abilities.
