Dispute over pocket money: What is appropriate?

Claudia's twelve-year-old son thinks 18 francs a month pocket money is too little - especially when he has to pay for invitations to friends himself. His parents see it differently. What should they do? Here's what our team of experts says.

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One question - three opinions

Since he turned twelve, our son has been receiving 18 francs a month in pocket money. He thinks it's far too little, we think it's just right. He now wants us to continue paying for everything. But if he invites his friends round for an ice cream, for example, we think he should pay for it out of his pocket money. What do you think?

Claudia, 43, Bachenbülach

That's what our team of experts says:

Anette Cina
Annette Cina
Your son doesn't realise what he has to do with his pocket money. So this needs to be clarified. There is no right or wrong. The amount of pocket money depends on age, financial situation, but also on the purpose of the pocket money. In other words: What is it actually intended for? The aim may be for your son to be able to buy something that is more than he needs and that you don't want to pay for. Then he will need less pocket money. But it can also be aimed at teaching children to plan, save and do without. This would go in the direction of a youth wage, which is higher because the child has to pay more themselves. You decide!
Andrea Jansen
Andrea Jansen
It's up to you how you handle your children's financial education. But I think your son has a point. At 18 francs, he is below the relevant recommendations of 20 to 100 francs in pocket money per month for young people his age. I was incredibly bad at maths, but if your son buys his three colleagues an ice cream of four francs each, he'll get through his pocket money in a single afternoon. That's not how he learns to save. Increase his pocket money, but don't take on anything that falls into the «not absolutely necessary» category.
Peter Schneider
Peter Schneider
Pocket money for children is like AHV for the elderly: It's not enough to cover the cost of living. You can't make any big leaps with 18 francs; invite friends round for ice cream once and the money is gone. Teaching children of this age how to «handle money» is a good intention, but it usually doesn't work. Increase it to 25 francs, but don't give in to the hope that this will put an end to the discussions about what your son should pay for himself.


The team of experts:

  • Annette Cina, 51, works at the Institute for Family Research and Counselling at the University of Freiburg. In her own practice, the psychologist, psychotherapist and mother of three counsels young people and adults. Her research focuses on the prevention of child behavioural disorders, couple conflicts, parenting and stress.
  • Andrea Jansen, 44, is the founder of the parenting platform Mal-ehrlich.ch. The journalist, entrepreneur and foundation board member was previously a television presenter and producer at SRF. Andrea Jansen has three children aged 7, 9 and 11. She lives with her family in Hawaii and Zurich.
  • Peter Schneider, 66, is a psychoanalyst, columnist and satirist. He used to be a professor of educational and developmental psychology at the University of Bremen and is still a private lecturer in clinical psychology at the University of Zurich. Father and husband of an adult son and an adult wife from and in his first marriage.
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