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Where to go as a family? The 10 biggest challenges

Time: 30 min
Finances, work-life balance, childcare: where do families stand today, and what do they hope for in the future? We have drawn up ten key points in consultation with eight experts.
Text: Sandra Markert

Photos: Gabi Vogt / 13 Photo

What is it like to be a parent? Can a mother or father even answer that question? Is it possible to put into words – or even quantify – the love we feel for our children and the love they give us, their zest for life, and the social support a family provides?

The situation is different when it comes to the costs associated with parenthood. It is possible to calculate how much it costs to raise a child until they reach the age of majority (around half a million Swiss francs). Ten years after the birth of their first child, mothers still earn up to 70 per cent less than women without children. Parents also have around 14 hours less free time per week than those without children. And then there are around 250,000 children and young people in Switzerland living in separated or divorced families.

On average, women in Switzerland still give birth to 1.29 children.

Given these hard facts, it is hardly surprising that the birth rate has been falling sharply for years. On average, women in Switzerland now give birth to 1.29 children. Many couples no longer have any children at all, and those who do are having fewer and fewer.

A job you enjoy, a happy relationship, friends – for the Swiss today, these are the three most important things for leading a happy life. Starting a family comes in fourth place.

What puts a strain on families? Ten points

Are the conditions for families in this country really that much worse today than they were 50 years ago? Or is it rather the social values of our time that are to blame for the negative perception of the family? After all, these values place a strong emphasis on self-fulfilment, self-improvement, flexibility and the desire to always have more – which doesn't really sit well with children, who tend to bring with them chaos, sacrifice, compromise and a sense of commitment.

Or is it simply a lack of positive role models? Of families who are open enough to say: «Yes, it's all incredibly exhausting – but we also have so many wonderful, funny and heart-warming moments with the children.» Family is something that gives life meaning, quite apart from any rational or economic considerations.

Together with experts and families, we have drawn up ten points to explore the pressures families face. Where would greater support from employers, policymakers and society at large be most appropriate? And where do parents make life unnecessarily difficult for themselves by comparing themselves too closely with others – and lacking the courage to follow their own imperfect, diverse path as a family?

1. Families face a greater financial burden today than they did 50 years ago

Almost half of all families in Switzerland are struggling to make ends meet, foregoing holidays, restaurant visits or leisure activities, and are unable to save. They cite high health insurance premiums and the rising cost of living as particular sources of financial strain.

These are the key findings of the latest Swiss Family Barometer 2026. Pro Familia, the umbrella organisation for family organisations, has commissioned this representative study annually since 2023. «It is important to bear in mind, however, that these are subjective perceptions. We ask families how they feel about their situation and where they feel the pressure in their daily lives. However, we do not survey how much money they actually have,» says Eva-Maria Kaufmann Rochereau, Director of Pro Familia Switzerland.

In the past, it was normal for one's income to be enough to afford a house of one's own, a car and several holidays a year.

Philipp Frei, Budget Advice Switzerland

Such objective data can be found at the Federal Statistical Office. It shows that couples without children have the highest incomes, whilst single-parent households have the lowest. The more children there are, the tighter the budget becomes. As the children get older, income rises again because both parents return to work full-time. Added to this are significant financial disparities within the population, as well as differences depending on where people live. None of these factors has changed fundamentally in recent years.

«It is true, however, that families are disproportionately affected by rising healthcare costs because they bear these costs on a per capita basis. And rising housing costs also have a greater impact because a family of five simply needs more space than a two-person household,» says Philipp Frei, Managing Director at Budgetberatung Schweiz.

Where's the family? Two brothers playing with Lego
Liandro (left) and Elias are growing up in a family where their mother stays at home and their father works full-time.

Divorces place a financial strain on families

As wages have not kept pace with these price rises, families actually have less money to spend than they did a few years ago. «Added to this is the high number of separations. These place a very heavy financial burden on the families affected, as many of their expenses effectively double as a result,» says Philipp Frei.

As a result, Frei finds himself having to encourage families more and more often to rethink the standard of living they associate with their own childhood. «Back then, it was often the norm for a single income to be enough to afford a house of one's own, a car and several holidays a year,» says Philipp Frei. If they can no longer offer this to their own children today, many families feel as though they have suffered a decline in social status.

This feeling is exacerbated by the lack of openness about the issue. «In Switzerland, people are reluctant to talk about money. And certainly not about financial problems. Every effort is made to keep up appearances. I recently dealt with parents who had taken out a loan so they could organise a children's birthday party in the way they felt was appropriate,» says Philipp Frei.

But what counts as reasonable? The trip to the trampoline park and out for pizza organised by dual-income parents with one child? Or the treasure hunt at home organised by a six-person blended family?

«We're seeing huge differences between families these days, so inevitably we find ourselves comparing them more than we used to,» says Annette Cina, a psychologist and family counsellor. She also notes that desires have grown as a result of the vast array of leisure activities, clothes, hobbies and travel options available.

«Thanks to our mobile phones, we have all this constantly in front of us. And we humans are simply wired in such a way that we are reluctant to do without, always compare ourselves with those better off, and want to have more,» says Annette Cina.

With several children, the pressure mounts

In short, this means that if we take the family structure now very common in Switzerland – consisting of a father, a mother, one child and two incomes – their economic situation is generally much better than that of a family 50 years ago, which often lived on a single income and had more children than families do today.

As soon as there are several children in a household, or in the case of single-parent households, the rising cost of living means that the real or perceived financial pressure increases – and sometimes people have to go without certain things. «And that certainly leads to more and more people saying they don't want any more children,» says Philipp Frei.

2. Parents are working more than they used to

As recently as the 1960s, being a housewife was a full-time job. «Back then, a mother of three worked as many hours and burned as many calories as a steelworker in the metal industry,» explains sociologist Hans Bertram. It was only the surge in innovation in household appliances from the 1970s onwards that enabled women to find the time to pursue other work – and this paid employment has been increasing every year since then.

«We are seeing a dramatic increase in weekly working hours for women with children, from 8.6 hours in 1997 to 17.9 hours in 2020,» says Petra Tipaldi of the Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute. The economist authored the study «Swiss Families between Tradition and Transformation» there in 2024.

When it comes to childcare provided by grandparents, the Swiss fare very well by European standards: a third of all children under the age of 13 in this country are regularly looked after by their grandparents.

Men's working hours did not decrease significantly over the same period. Taken together, parents are therefore working significantly more paid hours than they used to. Although tasks such as childcare or caring for relatives can often be outsourced to external service providers these days, the main responsibility still lies with the family.

Dishwashers, washing machines, the Thermomix and robot vacuum cleaners may have made housework easier – but it still doesn't get done by itself. «And who actually uses the time while the dishwasher is running to take a break? We simply get on with other tasks in the meantime, because when it comes to housework and care work, there's always something to do,» says Annette Cina.

Working life has become more demanding

This burden falls primarily on women. According to the Federal Statistical Office, women across all households spend an average of 32.4 hours a week on domestic and family work. For men, the figure is 22 hours.

Parents have always worked long hours, because they have to provide not only for themselves but also for their children. And even in the past, a farming family couldn't get by on a 40-hour week – but at least they had a few quiet months over the winter.

Families with clearly defined roles are happier.

Annette Cina, psychotherapist

«These days, working life has become more demanding and stressful in many areas. This is down to the faster pace of work and the need to be constantly available,» says Annette Cina. Everything now has to happen quickly, and often several things at once. «And that's something our brain actually doesn't like at all. It's designed to tackle one task at a time and needs a break every now and then in between,» Cina continues.

What's more, many mothers and fathers today have to commute long distances to work – often because housing in the city, where many find jobs, is more expensive than in the countryside. «If this applies to both parents, and on top of that several children have to be taken to different childcare facilities, these journeys take up a great deal of time. Many people underestimate this,» says Hans Bertram.

3. Families and their social circles are becoming smaller and smaller

Three generations living harmoniously under one roof and supporting one another: this longing for the extended families of yesteryear often springs to mind for parents today when they realise they've reached their limits when it comes to childcare or their working hours.

However, «This myth of the extended family is simply not true,» says psychologist Guy Bodenmann. Right up until the 19th century, epidemics, famines, poor hygiene, wars, disease and poverty meant that families were quite small. It was not until the early 20th century that extended families became possible at all. Even then, they were not widespread in Europe.

Nevertheless, the size of the average Swiss family has been steadily declining for years, as women are having fewer and fewer children. This means that 41 per cent of children now grow up as only children, and 42 per cent have just one sibling. Over the years, family structures as a whole have thus shrunk into what developmental psychologist Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello describes as «beanpole families».

«In 1950, a woman in Switzerland had an average of 49 relatives. Today, that same woman has only half as many,» says Petra Tipaldi, citing the striking figures. As a result, there are steadily fewer aunts or cousins around who could pop in to look after a child. And grandparents often don't live nearby. «This is particularly the case in academic households that have moved to a larger city or abroad for work, because both partners want to pursue a career. Yet it is precisely these families that often need support the most,» says sociologist Katja Rost.

A third of all children are looked after by their grandparents

But even those whose grandparents live nearby can no longer necessarily rely on their help. «The women who are becoming grandmothers today have usually trained for a profession themselves and are often still working. On top of that, the retirement age is being pushed back further and further,» says Hans Bertram. Or, alternatively, children are becoming parents so late in life these days that their own parents are already in need of care or have passed away altogether.

Nevertheless, the Swiss still fare very well in a European comparison when it comes to childcare provided by grandparents. A third of all children under the age of 13 in this country are regularly looked after by their grandparents. For young children up to the age of three, the figure is as high as almost half.

The sheer number of choices available when it comes to shaping one's life can also be unsettling and overwhelming.

Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello, developmental psychologist

According to the Federal Statistical Office, this figure is significantly higher than in other European countries (Germany and France: a maximum of 10 per cent). And those who have grandparents living nearby generally benefit from a huge amount of support: grandparents in this country look after their grandchildren for around 157 million hours a year.

These figures show that if families cannot rely on their grandparents, they have an even greater need for alternative forms of social support. Sociologist Norbert F. Schneider strongly advocates for local networks within the neighbourhood or among friends. Unlike with relatives, however, such «caring communities» must be actively and creatively built up. «Thanks to our mobility and social media, it has at least become much easier to do this,» says Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello.

Where is the family going? A little girl is sitting on a toy car
It is difficult to put into words the sense of security that a family provides. The joy that children bring simply has to be experienced.

4. The division of labour between parents remains unequal – even though fathers are becoming increasingly involved

«An equal division of housework, childcare and paid work is the ideal scenario for many of the families we surveyed,» says Petra Tipaldi. Particularly when it comes to childcare, but also to housework, the figures show that men are becoming increasingly involved, yet still do significantly less than women – because they usually work full-time or reduce their hours to a maximum of 80 per cent, thereby providing the family's main income.

«You simply have a financial responsibility towards your family. And because women very often work in social care roles that aren't particularly well paid, this division of responsibilities is entirely practical,» says sociologist Hans Bertram.

But: Is an equal division of all tasks within a family really something to strive for? «We know from studies that families with clear divisions of roles are happier. It simply seems to reduce stress,» says Annette Cina.

After all, the more responsibilities are shared, the more coordination is required – whether it's work commitments, looking after and bringing up the children, or household chores. «As a society, we've only got this far because we have a division of labour. Every company today is organised in such a way that there are clear areas of responsibility, because that's simply very efficient and also helps to avoid conflicts,» says Katja Rost.

Clearly defined responsibilities within the family

Many families today, on the other hand, are constantly trying to balance everything and agree on everything. «But that takes up a great deal of time and energy,» says sociologist Rost. What's more, this usually leads to a sense of constant dissatisfaction – because although you are responsible for everything, time constraints mean you can only manage to do everything by making compromises.

What's more, your partner may sometimes have different ideas to your own about how they would go about carrying out the tasks. Annette Cina also advocates clearly defined responsibilities within families as a way of reducing stress: «Whether that involves the traditional division of roles or a different model is something every couple can and should decide for themselves.»

5. The wide variety of lifestyles and parenting styles creates uncertainty

«Family. Who actually counts as part of it?» ask sociologist Norbert F. Schneider and psychotherapist Maria M. Bellinger in their book *Mut tut gut* (Courage Does You Good), which explores the challenges of modern parenthood.

They conclude that, on the one hand, families continue to be shaped from the outside by laws, cultural norms and social expectations. For example, official statistics only recognise a family as such if its members live together in the same household. On the other hand, today families are experienced on an individual level primarily in terms of how people feel connected to one another.

In the past, people all too often had to conform to strict social norms.

Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello, developmental psychologist

«We live in an age where everyone can choose their own way of life, their own definition of a relationship and how they shape their personal relationships,» says Guy Bodenmann. This means that a biological father who lives apart can be just as much a part of the family as the step-siblings who live in the same household.

«Thanks to all these freedoms, fortunately nobody today has to squeeze themselves into a predefined mould. In the past, people all too often had to conform to strict social norms. This heavy external control led to a great deal of dissatisfaction,» says Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello.

Breaking out of traditional patterns is hard work

But are families really happier, given all the freedoms they enjoy today? «All these options come with the responsibility of having to make a choice and then shape my life accordingly. That can be unsettling, overwhelming and come with a constant feeling that I'm missing out on something,» says Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello.

Perhaps one would be happier if one were to split up like the family next door? Or, like that university friend, simply live in a shared flat permanently instead of being part of a family? Or, as a father, look after the children and the household full-time?

According to Petra Tipaldi, anyone who breaks away from traditional family patterns soon realises that it is, above all, one thing: exhausting. «Anyone who approaches their family role differently, or behaves differently towards their children in terms of upbringing than has traditionally been the norm in society, simply lacks the neural shortcuts and automatic responses.»

Just like a child learning to write for the first time, the brain first has to work hard to form new connections and break down old beliefs. For example, it takes around five years for a blended family to become a stable unit.

It depends on your expectations

«This new family model doesn't necessarily make you any happier, because you might not see your children as often as before, or new sources of conflict may have arisen,» says Katja Rost. And no matter which family model you choose: «Ultimately, it also depends on your own expectations,» says Rost.

«Previous generations often had it easier in this respect, because it was simply understood that marriage was primarily about providing for one another and was maintained for practical reasons. «Nowadays, however, everyone expects that great, romantic love to last a lifetime. That may well be an overly idealised goal,» says Katja Rost.»

It is perfectly normal to question traditional ways of life.

Hans Bertram, sociologist

Especially as life expectancy is constantly rising. In the past, people who met someone at the age of 17 would get married, have children – and die quite young. «If we meet someone at 17 today, it's usually not the person we'll have children with, as that tends to happen more than ten years later,» says Hans Bertram.

Another new development for couples is the many years they spend together after their children have left home. «When new life prospects like this arise, it is quite normal to question traditional ways of living,» says Hans Bertram. However, as there is still a lack of role models to show how to navigate all this, a great deal of uncertainty arises.

6. No previous generation has had to cope with so many pressures at the same time

«Parents today have their own children to look after, are in work and often also care for elderly relatives,» says Guy Bodenmann. This relatively new phenomenon of the «sandwich generation» has arisen as a result of people becoming parents later in life – particularly among graduates – the fact that both partners are in work, and steadily rising life expectancy.

The consequences are far-reaching: «Middle-aged adults are under a great deal of pressure these days,» says Guy Bodenmann. In the Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute's family study, 34 per cent of the parents surveyed stated that they were no longer able to cope with the demands of family life due to these competing pressures.

The Luigjes family playing
Irina and Raymon Luigjes have made a conscious decision to give up many of their hobbies and the pressures of leisure time, preferring instead to spend quality time with their family. Here, they talk about their everyday life.

What is interesting here is that there is little willingness to outsource more care work to external service providers. «Nannies, babysitters, domestic helpers – none of them are particularly well accepted by parents. They want to do most of it themselves,» says Petra Tipaldi.

People are slightly more willing to accept help with caring for elderly family members. However, this is usually only arranged when there is simply no other option. «I recently met a 73-year-old daughter who had to place her 93-year-old mother in a care home because she could no longer manage the care herself. It almost broke her heart,» says Hans Bertram.

Switching flexibly between family and career phases

In an increasingly ageing society, stories like this will become more common. «The way our working lives and family lives are currently organised actually creates situations that are virtually impossible to resolve,» says Hans Bertram. Nor does he see politicians and academics offering any solutions to these challenges; rather, he feels that these stakeholders are «pretty much at a loss for words».

He takes a similar view of the lack of awareness among many employers. «In the past, people usually built their careers in the middle of their working lives. But nowadays, that is often when women have their children, and parents are also gradually starting to need care. We need completely different career paths today,» says Hans Bertram.

To enable employees to switch flexibly between family and career phases, Petra Tipaldi advocates a lifetime working period. «Furthermore, career opportunities for people over 40 need to be promoted more actively.»

Perhaps people should simply start having children earlier again.

Katja Rost, sociologist

Another possibility: «Perhaps people should simply start having children earlier again, whilst they're still in education or at university,» suggests Katja Rost. At that age, she says, people are generally more flexible, can get by on less sleep, are better able to cope with stress – and, above all, have lower expectations of everything.

And when it comes to taking important career steps, the children are already older and easier to look after. «Role models haven't become so entrenched yet either. Younger couples often automatically live on a more equal footing and don't have to go through the hassle of discussing this later on,» says the sociologist.

7. There are limits to outsourcing care work

31 hours a week: never before have parents spent as much time looking after their children as they do today. As recently as the 1970s, when far fewer women were in work and there were fewer nursery places, the figure was just 15 hours, according to a 2024 study by the consultancy firm BSS.

This shows that: «You can't simply hand over childcare to external service providers at will. The most obvious reasons are infrastructural, geographical and financial,» says Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello. According to the Family Barometer, childcare costs are among the biggest financial burdens on families. «They are often so high that it isn't worth both parents working, because one salary is swallowed up by the costs. This places a heavy burden on many families,» says Eva-Maria Kaufmann Rochereau.

But even if there were widespread access to very flexible or even free childcare, cultural and emotional barriers would still remain. «In Italian-speaking Switzerland, you simply don't put your mother in a care home,» says Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello.

Nor can any institution take over the task of bringing up children from their parents – even if it were available round the clock in terms of staff and time: «After all, you don't become a parent in order to completely relinquish control over your social relationships with your children or other family members,» says Hans Bertram.

8. Paid work is not yet as flexible as family life would require

New parents often believe that as soon as their child starts nursery, they'll be able to work during those hours. What many don't realise is that a child can actually be off sick quite a lot. That nursery staff can be off sick. That work commitments don't always align with nursery opening hours. In short: that everyday family life can be quite unpredictable.

Annette Cina believes that using external childcare may give you the impression that you have flexibility in your career. «In reality, however, that's not the case at all, which is why I definitely need private, social support.» After all, grandparents are there even when the children are ill, when you have an important meeting at 4 pm, or when you have to work an extra shift in the care sector due to staff shortages.

These days, many people find it hard to relax.

Guy Bodenmann, psychologist

«As well as personal flexibility, the freedom and scope for autonomy in the workplace also play a major role,» says Guy Bodenmann. With often generous home-working policies, the situation for families has improved in many sectors and companies in recent years. However, many professions do require physical presence in the workplace. «And these are often, ironically, the jobs that pay less,» says Philipp Frei.

The result is that these people usually have to work longer hours, with their commute time added on top of their working hours. And that's when external childcare options start to reach their limits – especially as they also come with high costs.

It is therefore not surprising that around 30 per cent of parents who report feeling under significant pressure in the Family Barometer continue to cite the challenge of balancing work and family life as the main cause. According to the survey, what would help them most is if companies gave employees greater flexibility in organising their working hours.

Where's the family? Siblings feeding the rabbits
On Sundays, the Luigjes family deliberately do nothing in particular; spending time together is what matters most.

9. In many families, the stress of everyday life is followed by the stress of leisure activities

For one in three families, more free time and less stress would be the most important factors in improving family life. This is one of the key findings of the latest Family Barometer. However, according to the Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute, the Swiss population now has more free time than at any point in the past 150 years.

So perhaps this free time is not being used in the way Guy Bodenmann recommends as a counterbalance to an increasingly stressful working life: for leisure and relaxation. The psychologist observes: «Many people today are no longer able to unwind. Too many activities, or the growing pressure to perform even in one's free time, are diminishing the restorative potential of leisure time.»

Hans Bertram, aged 80, recalls how he used to spend his free time after school. «We were always outside in the afternoons, and no adult cared what we were up to.» Today, however, children in Switzerland spend an average of just 47 minutes a day playing outside – and of that, barely half an hour is unsupervised.

This is the result of a survey on children's leisure activities published by the Pro Juventute Foundation in 2016. One in six children had not played outside at all on the days the online survey was conducted, and a total of 20 per cent had only done so under supervision.

Parents like to keep an eye on their children

Instead, almost every child now has at least one, and usually several, hobbies. For many parents, this means spending their afternoons driving their child to ballet lessons, waiting at the sports ground until football training is over, or setting up or packing away equipment at children's gymnastics. Experience shows that this doesn't exactly leave much time for relaxation.

«Of course, parents do this with the best of intentions. And it's not at all easy for a family to say, «We'll do less of that,» when other parents are making it possible for their children to do so,» says Petra Tipaldi. Hans Bertram, too, can understand that many parents today are very protective of their children and like to keep a close eye on them – partly because the landscape has changed so much with the advent of mobile phones and the internet.

«Even at home, I can no longer protect a child from all the dangers the internet poses. So it's understandable that parents want to feel their children are being looked after when they're out and about.»

In his view, better integration between school and leisure activities could help ease the pressure. «If facilities such as sports clubs or music schools were also based locally, parents wouldn't have to act as taxi drivers,» says Hans Bertram.

For Eva-Maria Kaufmann Rochereau, this would have another advantage: «Then the social disparities regarding what parents can afford to provide for their children would no longer be so great. After all, the fact that they cannot keep up when it comes to leisure activities is a source of stress, particularly for families on lower incomes.»

On average, Swiss parents spend 114 francs a month on their children's extracurricular activities. However, in every school class there is, on average, one child whose parents cannot afford this: according to the Federal Statistical Office, one in twenty children in Switzerland is unable to take part in any hobby that involves a cost.

10. Support for families is inadequate

According to Eva-Maria Kaufmann Rochereau, the 2026 Family Barometer clearly shows that families are calling for financial relief in terms of health insurance premiums, taxes and childcare services.

«What's more, the schemes and support measures vary greatly from canton to canton. A more coordinated approach would be desirable here,» says Kaufmann Rochereau. According to Philipp Frei, some cantons already offer what are known as family top-up benefits.

The Debrunner family: Jose and Andrea
Andrea and Jose Debrunner have deliberately chosen to follow a traditional gender role model. Andrea is often teased for this. They tell us more about it here.

Looking at various statistics from the Federal Statistical Office, Switzerland does indeed lag far behind other European countries when it comes to family policy benefits. In 2023, for example, social benefit expenditure on families and children stood at around 1.5 per cent of gross domestic product, whereas in Germany it was 3.5 per cent – and the European average was 2.3 per cent. «For a country as wealthy as Switzerland, that is completely inadequate,» says Pasqualina Perrig-Chiello.

According to a 2021 study by the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development), Switzerland ranks among the highest in Europe in terms of external childcare costs. A nursery place costs an average of around 130 Swiss francs per day per child.

Calculated on a monthly basis and based on an average income, more than a quarter of a full-time working couple's household income is spent on external childcare. In Germany, this figure averages just 1 per cent of the average household income.

Stagnant family policy

«What's more, parental leave for mothers in Switzerland is very short compared to other countries, and paternity leave is completely inadequate,» says Guy Bodenmann. He also believes that a flexible arrangement of parental leave is important. «Furthermore, by providing financial support for parental work, we should create the opportunity for mothers or fathers to decide freely, without financial loss, whether to look after their child themselves or use external childcare,» says Bodenmann.

Annette Cina also notes that family policy is currently at a standstill – though, in her view, there is a good reason for this. «Families today are simply very diverse and want very different things. So the money is spread thinly, and in the end the result is simply a compromise that can never fully satisfy everyone.»

If, for example, society were to agree that both parents generally wish to work full-time, then the necessary structures could be put in place. However, if half of the childcare places were then left unused, such a nationwide and flexible service would not be affordable.

Katja Rost also believes it is important to highlight the limitations of family policy, for example when it comes to the issue of birth rates. «In Scandinavia, the number of children is falling, even though childcare is partly free. The situation is similar in Germany, where the rules on parental allowance and the legal right to a childcare place are quite generous.»

The framework has been established

In her view, family policy could certainly provide more support to couples who have already decided to have children. «However, for starting a family to become appealing again in general, society's attitude would also have to change fundamentally,» says Katja Rost. At present, the prevailing message is that children are expensive, bad for your career and severely restrict your personal interests.

«Perhaps we as parents simply need to realise that the external conditions are already in place, and even if I complain about them, they won't change overnight,» says Annette Cina. But a picture isn't just made up of the external, predefined framework – it also consists of a subject.

«And these days, every family really does have a great deal of freedom to shape this for themselves. When I realise that, I regain a great deal of control, I worry less, I compare myself to others less, and I feel less driven,» says Annette Cina.

Further reading

  • Jesper Juul: What Sustains Families. Values in Parenting and Partnership. A Guidebook. Beltz 2008, 175 pages, approx. 19 CHF

Using numerous examples, the Danish family therapist demonstrates the resources families have at their disposal to remain calm and optimistic, even in turbulent times.

  • Nora Imlau: What Makes Family Life Easier. ­Practical tips for building strong bonds in everyday life. Beltz 2025, 224 pp., approx. 25 CHF

The author explains why it is worth not attaching such great moral significance to everyday decisions – and how one can enjoy family life in a more relaxed way without constantly feeling guilty.

  • Norbert F. Schneider, Maria M. Bellinger: Courage Does You Good. Why We Can Have More Faith in Our Children. Harper Collins 2025, 272 pages, approx. 29 CHF

The two authors take a critical look at the aspects of life that shape families today. In doing so, they offer plenty of food for thought for anyone seeking answers to the question: «Why are parents and children under so much pressure these days?»

  • Ashley Davis Bush: The Little Book of Calm and Serenity. Mastering the storms of everyday life with ease . Heyne 2017, 96 pages, approx. 13 CHF
Taking a more relaxed approach to everyday life sounds like a good idea. In this book, Ashley Davis shares techniques for clearing your head quickly with a short break – for example, by doing a breathing exercise.
This text was originally published in German and was automatically translated using artificial intelligence. Please let us know if the text is incorrect or misleading: feedback@fritzundfraenzi.ch