Irina Luigjes is 35 years old; her husband Raymon is 38. They have built their life together, step by step, with their four children: Zimra, 11, Lias, 10, Moana, 8, and Niam, 6.
Raymon: «These days, many parents think they have to provide their children with so much. But children just want to feel loved, and spending time together is the best way to achieve that. It doesn't have to be a trip to faraway lands; it works just as well in the woods. We make a point of doing absolutely nothing on Sundays; we just stay at home and are there for one another. And in the evening, we always have two hours when nobody looks at their mobile phone. Things like that give us a lot of strength for everyday life.»
Irina: «When our children's friends come to visit and they have to go off to their various activities, we often hear them say: «I don't really want to go, but my parents want me to.»»
I enjoy working and want to be more than «just» a mum.
Happy without many material possessions
Raymon: «Family life is very much about values and standards. Irina and I don't need many material things to be happy. We set an example for our children in this regard. Last Christmas, we asked each child whether they would prefer to receive presents up to a certain amount or to donate that money to Africa. All four children chose to donate the money.»
Irina: «When Raymon moved from the Netherlands to join me in Switzerland, he first had to learn the language, then find a job. In the early years with the children, we had to manage our finances carefully. I've always continued working in my job in nursing. But that only worked because my parents live twenty minutes away and can support us a lot, just like my two sisters. If we'd needed a nursery, almost all the money I earned would have gone on that.»
Raymon: «We've always considered how each child would fit in with our home or car situation. But to say, purely for financial reasons, that we'd now decide against having a fourth child – that would never have been an option for us.»
Irina: «I think you just need a bit of courage and confidence. When our four-bedroom flat eventually became too small, we spent a long time looking for an affordable house and, in the end, we were just incredibly lucky.»
We tell the children honestly when it all gets a bit too much or when we need a break.
Flexible working hours
Raymon: «Things are going well for me at the moment in my work as a self-employed swimming pool technician. You wouldn't necessarily have to go out to work anymore.»
Irina: «Yes, but I also want to be something other than «just» a mum. And I'm very lucky that I can organise my working hours quite flexibly and have a very family-friendly employer. At the moment, I only work in the evenings or do night shifts, so we can manage it well . But that's only possible because I can really cope with very little sleep. And because you have less to do during the winter months and can then help me more with the children and the housework. Sometimes I do wish we had a cleaner. But would I really be happier then? I'm not so sure about that.»
Raymon: «At the moment, everything's working out really well for us. And if we feel it's all getting a bit too much, we talk it through. We're also honest with the children when things get too much or we need a break.»
