Where there are children, there is noise
The nine-year-old is sitting at dinner and complains about a classmate: «Max was so loud at school again today, I couldn't concentrate at all.» Shortly afterwards, she starts shrieking because a wasp is sitting on her glass and lashes out. The glass falls over, one brother laughs out loud, the other howls because he has got wet. The parents would love to leave the room. Rambazamba again.
Noise triggers physical stress reactions in us humans. The best way to understand this is to imagine yourself in a wild forest full of dangers. How practical it is that our brain reacts to conspicuous sources of noise and puts the body on alert via stress hormones - even while we are asleep. This is the evolutionary explanation for the fact that we switch into attack or flight mode when we hear loud noises.
A noisy street has a sound level of 80 decibels, a crying baby can easily reach 120 decibels.
The problem is that the noise of your own offspring sometimes triggers these feelings. With the birth of the first child, the silence is not just literally over. Crying babies can easily reach 120 decibels. Decibel is the unit of measurement commonly used to describe the strength of a sound event. A decibel is the weakest sound that the human ear can perceive.
Main roads have a noise level of 80 decibels at the roadside - similar to children playing. Above 90 decibels, the World Health Organisation advises wearing hearing protection. Above 140 decibels, sound waves are perceived as pain. A bursting balloon can easily keep up with this, as can a whistle. Or a gymnasium full of screaming children.
If you are loud, you attract attention
Where there are children, there is always noise - but why is that? «In terms of developmental psychology, there are several possible explanations,» says Moritz Daum, developmental psychologist at the University of Zurich. Firstly, there is the ability to speak, which is not yet fully developed. Depending on their age and stage of development, children sometimes lack the right words to express themselves, especially when it comes to feelings.
«Out of frustration, they then choose a means of communication that they know how to use, namely loudness,» says Moritz Daum. The practical thing about this is that anyone who is loud automatically attracts attention, which is why the children realise that they are being heard, even if they cannot communicate their needs with words.
In addition, children still have to learn to correctly assess and regulate the volume of their own speech - and adapt it to the context. Playing outside is possible at a different volume than indoors. You have to speak more quietly in a classroom full of classmates than when you're sitting alone at the table with your parents. And shouting on the football pitch is definitely useful, but not so much in yoga.
Lack of self-regulation - as with drunks
Knowing this is one thing. However, there is also the fact that children's emotional and cognitive self-control is still developing. «Their emotions get the better of them than adults,» says Moritz Daum. He compares children's self-regulation with that of a drunk adult. «With them, the voice is sometimes louder than appropriate.» In other words, even if children know that they should keep their voices down during lessons or in a restaurant, they are not always able to do so.
Being loud is an attempt by children to release excess energy.
Julia Mori, educational scientist
It usually gets particularly loud when several children come together. And not just because several voices are generally louder than one. «Children's social behaviour develops significantly during primary school,» says Julia Mori, an educational scientist at the University of Bern. Peers become increasingly important for children. They look for their place in this social structure, make friends and negotiate rules with each other. That doesn't work without emotions. «And it can sometimes get loud,» says the expert.
What's more, primary school pupils have a lot of energy - and they need to get it out. The Federal Office of Sport recommends at least 60 minutes of moderate to high-intensity exercise every day - much more would be better. This should also be as varied as possible and, in addition to endurance, should also strengthen muscles and bones and promote mobility and dexterity. This is not always compatible with a long school day with lots of sitting still. «Then the energy builds up over the morning. Being loud is an attempt by the children to release this energy,» emphasises Julia Mori.
However, as other parties also live in a rented house, there is usually a clause in the tenancy agreement or in the house rules that specifies the issue of noise or quiet. In most cases, these clauses stipulate a night-time quiet period from 10 p.m. and a break at lunchtime. During these times, loud playing or practising an instrument is not permitted.
Mutual consideration is also recommended outside of these times. According to a survey by the Neighbourhood Mediation Association, one in three neighbourhood disputes are caused by children making noise in the rented flat or by children playing outside. It would often be enough to ask the neighbour when exactly she takes her afternoon nap, announce a child's birthday party in advance or swap the football for a soft ball.
In short: getting in touch with the neighbours before a dispute escalates - and possibly only moving out remains. Because although families have the right to a healthy amount of children's noise on their side: No one lives happily in the long term in an environment characterised by arguments.
Meeting the high noise level with understanding
As they get older, children and teenagers are able to control themselves better and know communication strategies to draw attention to themselves without being too loud. However, shouting, slamming doors and loud music are still part of puberty for most teenagers. «Again, this is about emotions that you can't always control during this time and feelings that can sometimes only be expressed through loudness,» says the educationalist.
So there are many good reasons for children to be loud. Which doesn't change the fact that the noise can become a nuisance for parents, teachers or neighbours. To resolve this dilemma, Julia Mori recommends not seeing children's noise as a wilful disturbance that can simply be switched off. «It's worth showing understanding and empathy for the noise. Only when I understand the causes can I take countermeasures.» Is there a lack of movement, for example? Are there strong emotions at play? Or perhaps the children don't realise that it's lunchtime and the neighbour is taking a nap?
«Clear rules and agreements about when and why you have to be quiet certainly help the children,» says Julia Mori. And instead of always telling them off for being too loud, she advises them to work more with positive reinforcement. «If a child has been quiet for half an hour, I can tell them that too.»
And then there are the days when parents don't see loud shouting, screaming and giggling as noise pollution at all - they can simply enjoy their children's uninhibited joie de vivre. Noise also has a psychological component, otherwise nobody would voluntarily attend a rock concert. And: a bit of life in the house, wasn't that one of the reasons for starting a family?
The most important facts in brief
- Lärm generell und damit auch Kinderlärm lösen Stress aus. Kein Wunder also, dass Eltern davon genervt sind.
- Kinder sind nicht laut, um ihre Eltern oder Lehrer zu ärgern, sondern weil sie durch ihren Entwicklungsstand oft noch nicht anders können.
- Laut sein kann ein Ventil sein für Emotionen, für mangelnde Bewegung oder fehlende Möglichkeiten, sich kommunikativ anders auszudrücken.
- Wer die Ursachen kennt, warum Kinder laut sind, kann besser mit ihnen darüber ins Gespräch kommen.
- Klare Regeln helfen, die Lautstärke auch in Mietshäusern erträglich zu gestalten.
