What changes in the second year of kindergarten?

Laura comes home. «Liam made a fuss again when we said goodbye!» she says as she takes off her shoes. And rolls her eyes. Because she, Laura, is already big. And you don't do that in the big Chindsgi anymore, she says.

The days when Laura found it difficult to leave her parents are forgotten. And therefore always carried «Fridolin», the stuffed rabbit, with her. Now Fridolin stays at home when Laura goes to kindergarten. She is now one of the grown-ups and shows the little ones where things are in the kindergarten, helps them get dressed and shares their snacks.

Children want to be big. They strive forwards - almost always faster than we parents would like.

Your child is now also in the second year of kindergarten. Your daughter or son is no longer the little child either. The one with the striped shirts and the small, eternally sticky hands that they always pressed into your face. The child who grabbed your hand so readily when you left the familiar surroundings. Today is no longer the past!

The desire for the new

Children want to be big. They strive forwards - almost always faster than we parents would like. Striving forwards is nothing other than a search. Think of it this way: «When a child sets off on a search and finds something that is a little bit more than what was there before, it feels like any adult: It is happy,» writes the German neurobiologist and author Gerhard Hüther.

The greater the initial excitement about the new, the greater the joy when everything «fits» again. This makes the child all the more keen to start searching again. Hüther says that this gives us an idea of how great the feeling of pleasure can be that children experience when they successfully set out to discover the world.

It can happen that the child comes home and throws everything on the floor. Including himself.

Turning away from self-centredness

Children not only explore the world differently, they also think completely differently to adults. They give answers without thinking about it. Often the first possible one that occurs to them. Sometimes even a little egocentric, because they still believe that they are the centre of the world. And, as Laura's example shows, they no longer waste a thought on the past.

The so-called «theory of mind» is at the centre of child development psychology. It is considered a milestone in a child's development and means turning away from the infantile self-centredness and the associated difficulty of imagining a scene from another person's point of view. Once the child has this «theory of mind», it realises that not everyone thinks like it does. The child no longer considers their view to be the only one.

What parents often misunderstand

Nevertheless, his thinking is not yet completely free of logical errors, as it is governed more by perception than by logic. Even now, it is still guided more by the things it sees and can only concentrate on a single thing.

This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings between parents and children. For example: We want our child to hang up their coat when they come home from nursery, take off their shoes, wash their hands and come to the table when we call them. We expect this to work. Unfortunately, it often doesn't. Not because the child has suddenly lost the ability to be kind. It's because the six-year-old child doesn't know when to do or not do something. This knowledge only comes at the age of seven or eight.

And so it happens that the child comes in the door and throws everything on the floor: shoes, nursery bag, jacket. Sometimes even herself. Or the sibling. A possible expression of throwing off the exertions of the morning.

Lack of forward thinking

But it is also a sign that it is not yet able to make its own (unlearnt) connection between the present and the future. In other words: come home, wash your hands and sit clean at the table.

Yuko Munakata, Professor of Developmental Psychology at the University of Boulder in Colorado, explains this in an article in the scientific journal «Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences»: «Five-year-old children do not yet realise what influence an action has or could have in the future. So when children are told something, they only react when they have gathered enough information to be able to categorise the original instruction.»

The child's soul begins to waver. It feels neither small nor really big.

The following everyday situation shows what this means: when it's cold outside and a neighbour's child rings the doorbell and asks if your son or daughter would like to play with him or her, your child usually just runs off - regardless of the sub-zero temperatures.

Why? Because the impulse is stronger than the mind. It doesn't get the idea to put on a jacket. Not even when we adults remind them. Munakata explains this behaviour as follows: «Young children lack the ability to think ahead. They run outside, only later realise that it's cold, only then recall in their memory where the jacket is and finally get it.»

Strengthen competences

According to Munakata, the results of her study should help parents to improve communication between parents and children. For the example with the jacket, this means that parents could tell their children: «I know you don't want to take your jacket with you now, but if you get cold later, remember that it's hanging in the cloakroom.»

From a developmental psychology and pedagogical perspective, the focus is on the development of the so-called executive functions. The child will continue to develop these complex skills this year:

So at some point, the child will realise of its own accord to put on a jacket with a hood when it's raining outside and to do without a skirt when it's snowing. By the end of the second year of kindergarten, they will be able to remember what the programme will be in two days' time. And when they can do this, the toddler will have become a big kid: a child ready for school.

Contradictory feelings

Your child will grow rapidly this year - both internally and externally. This is the age of the first shape change. The extremities begin to grow more strongly, the toddler-like stomach flattens, the muscles emerge and the shoulders broaden.

The child appears longer and slimmer overall. The toddler-like appearance disappears completely. The face also changes: the mid and lower face grow, making the forehead appear smaller than before. The first milk teeth may fall out.

There is also a metamorphosis on the inside. The child's soul begins to waver. It feels neither small nor really big, but somehow in between. They may sometimes be unexpectedly explosive or prone to mood swings, moody or dissatisfied.

They want to do things that older children can already do effortlessly, play badminton or football, assemble Lego. But often these games or activities are still a little too difficult. So they are often frustrated. The old games, the ones that used to excite them, are not challenging enough for them. But the old activities have not yet been replaced by new ones.

Children long for independence. At the same time, they need the love and security of a family.

Give plenty of attention and rest

Nevertheless, your child continues to strive forwards, undeterred, following an inner development programme. He expands his radius, seeks more contact with other children and is completely driven by the desire to hang out with friends on every free afternoon. They may even be able to find their own way to their friends.

They tend to overestimate themselves and patronise their younger siblings. And then again, all of a sudden, it throws itself into your arms and wants to cuddle, just like it used to when it was the child with the sticky little paws.

«Ability and willingness also mean separation, loss of connection, and this arouses fears,» summarises Maria Teresa Diez Grieser, a psychologist specialising in psychotherapy at the «Institut Marie Meierhofer für das Kind» in Zurich.

Children long for independence and autonomy, but love and security in the family are still very important. Give your child the attention and rest they need right now.

School preparation

How does the kindergarten take this intensive development phase into account? Some kindergartens reserve a separate morning or afternoon for the older children. They are allowed to do things that are reserved just for them: cooking, playing more challenging games or a theatre rehearsal. Preparation for school also takes centre stage. The children are expected to complete tasks on a weekly basis or at certain intervals.

Some children also want to read or do maths. However, these tasks are not prioritised over play, in which the child acquires many skills, develops their personality and develops their individuality. Both areas are of great importance for a child's attitude to work and motivation to achieve - the hallmarks of a school-ready child.

Mental development

The closer a child gets to their sixth birthday, the greater their attention span becomes. It only stops when the work is completed. The child can concentrate well and for longer. Duties are taken seriously, and activities such as the «Znünitäschliverteiler» become popular. Competition also suddenly plays a role. The children register success or failure.

While small children can't bear to lose in a game, five to six-year-olds are much better at it. So the triumph is all the greater when mum, dad or grandparents are put back in first place in «Eile mit Weile» or «black Peter» is foisted on them!

Children are now also able to draw certain consequences from success and failure (known in technical jargon as aspirational behaviour). As a result, children choose tasks that match their abilities and that they believe will be successful. They attribute their success or failure to certain causes.

Some children endeavour to master tasks with great perseverance; others protect themselves from failure by remaining at an easily achievable level of ambition. Frustration tolerance in the face of failure slowly increases.

At the age of six, the child has a well-developed vocabulary (around 2500 words). They can pronounce all sounds and speak in grammatically correct sentences. They can talk about what they played at nursery and what they are going to do tomorrow. They also have an initial understanding of numbers (counting up to about 10 or 20, arithmetic up to 5) and well-developed graphomotor skills (detailed drawing).

Raising children means guiding them towards independence and autonomy.

Axel Hacke, Author

What will the transition to Year 1 entail?

These competences are assessed in the assessment meeting. In the first half of the year, the children focus on consolidating their existing social and emotional skills, gaining confidence in their self-competence and deepening their relationships with the class and teachers.

Forming relationships in the peer group, co-operating in group activities and learning to fit in is a major challenge for the child at this time. As spring approaches, «school readiness» becomes the dominant topic in discussions with parents. A new, big step. And once again, your world and that of your child will expand as if by magic.

What does raising children mean today? Axel Hacke, author of the wonderful book «Der kleine Erziehungsberater», says: «Raising children means leading them to independence and autonomy.» What an emotional and intellectual challenge!

To lovingly motivate a child, to encourage them to constantly face new challenges, to stimulate them with new tasks in which they can develop. And to create a framework in which your daughter or boy feels emotionally secure, wanted and accepted, but also encouraged, challenged and stimulated.

At the end of this school year, you will be amazed at how big your child has become. Hold on to this moment: it goes by far too quickly.