We tell the story: How does enlightenment really take place?

I say: «I think it's weird to talk to my parents about sex»

David, 15, is an only child and lives with his parents in Zurich. He is in 3rd secondary school and had a girlfriend for the first time last summer. He thought it was funny that his mum got him condoms.

"I remember catching my parents having sex when I was six or seven. I was screaming my head off because I thought my dad was hurting my mum. They calmed me down and said it was a beautiful thing. And that this is how babies are made. After that, I kept listening to see if they would do it again and if I would finally have a sibling. Unfortunately, I remained an only child.

My parents were always very open with me, we talked about everything. Everyone was always walking around naked at home. At some point, around the age of 12 or 13, I didn't want to do that anymore. I don't know exactly why. This summer I had my first girlfriend and my mum gave me a pack of condoms. That made me laugh. As if I couldn't buy them myself if I wanted to. I think it's weird to talk to my parents about sex. It's somehow none of their business, is it? My father has been saying to me for two years now that we would have a proper «man talk». But it hasn't happened yet. My mum sometimes gives monologues about sexting and stuff like that. I do listen - but
what can I say about it?

I would never send around a naked picture of someone, no matter how ugly I am. But I would look at it if I received one.

We also had sex education at school, for example in year 5 with our biology teacher. It was exciting, even if no one would ever admit it. I just pretended to know everything anyway, and so did most of the others. Today I'm sure that they didn't know any more than I did! If I want to know something, I ask my friend and neighbour, who is two years older than me.

He also showed me videos and photos on his mobile phone for the first time. I think it's exciting, you don't know how it works otherwise. Even though I know, of course, that not everything you see there is necessarily real. It's like gaming or the cinema, it's not real there either."

I say: «Do you remember the banana?»

Daniela and her daughters Luna, 13, and Lilly, 10, live with the girls' father in a village in the canton of Zurich. Daniela is a qualified nurse. «Mummy is my Google,» says Luna.

Daniela: «We didn't have that one clarification discussion. We always talk about everything over a meal. Even about sex."
Lilly grins.
Daniela: «You first asked when you were about five.»
Luna: «I remember that. I said at the time that I would explain it to her after dinner.»
Daniela: «But then she backed out. So I got out the book "Where the little children come from» and looked at it with both of them and answered her questions.»
Luna: «There was never anything I felt I couldn't ask mummy. So I also knew about my period when I got it at the age of eleven. It wasn't a big deal."
Lilly: «I always ask mummy when I want to know something.»
Luna: «Asking Daddy is useless. He then says: "Ask Mummy!»»
Lilly: «Do you remember the banana?"
Daniela: «Luna was about eight when she asked at dinner if it was actually possible to have sex without getting pregnant. So we talked about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases, and without further ado I got a condom and a banana and showed them. My husband asked afterwards if it could have been done in a less graphic way.»
Luna: «In sex education lessons in Year 6, they put the condom on a cucumber.»
Daniela: «The poor boys! Obviously nobody thought about realistic proportions!»
Luna: «I didn't feel like I learnt anything in sex education that I didn't know. But some of the others didn't really know much. They might be embarrassed to ask their parents. Not me. Even if I don't always tell them everything.»
Daniela: «I think I realise when Luna is in love. But I don't squeeze her. I trust that she'll come to me when there's something to talk about.»
Luna: «I've never had a boyfriend. But I prefer older boys. The ones my age are childish. I would also bring a boyfriend home with me.»
Daniela: «You could be alone in your room. I trust her completely. But of course there are things that don't work. For example, if he's much older than her.»
Luna: «I do talk to my girlfriends about boys or our bodies. But not about sex. We're not that interested in that yet.»
Daniela: "I don't need to know about everything in my daughters' lives. The important thing is that they know they can talk to me about anything at any time.»

I say: «It's much easier with Mia than with her brother»

Corinne is mum to Mia, 16, and Luca, 12, and lives with her husband and children in the Zurich suburbs. Her daughter's sex education began naturally at an early age when she was pregnant with her second child.

"I sometimes have the feeling that we missed out on the sex education when Luca was a toddler. With Mia, it happened naturally, so to speak, when I was pregnant with Luca. She wanted to know how the baby came into the womb and we explained it to her using picture books. When Luca was four years old, his godmother was pregnant and I dug out the old picture books again. But he was more interested in when he would finally be able to play with the new baby than how it had got into his mum's tummy.

Even later, I found and still find it much easier with Mia than with her brother. She asks, he doesn't. When she was five and I put a pack of tampons on the conveyor belt while shopping, I explained to her at the supermarket checkout what they were. When she had a boyfriend two years ago, we talked about sex and contraception. When there was a case of sexting at her school last year, we talked about it.

I did the same with Luca, because the topic doesn't just concern girls. Or rather, I spoke and he listened - or not.

I think some of his friends are already much «further along» than he is. He's not really interested in girls yet. I did catch him masturbating recently, but I think for him it has more to do with good feelings than concrete ideas or desires. This is also shown by the fact that I was more embarrassed than he was. But I took the opportunity to tell him later that it was perfectly fine, but that it was part of his privacy and that he should close the door when he did it."