We tell: «Maintaining children's self-love at school»
Raphaela: "I want my children to have a different school experience to my own. I had very authoritarian teachers for most of my time at school. They were of the opinion that only those who were good at maths and German were any good, were clever. However, I was good in the creative subjects and as a result I often heard from the fourth primary class onwards: «You'll never amount to anything clever.» I couldn't cope well with the pressure and the assessment, became tired of school and was really glad when I finally finished compulsory schooling.
School robbed me of a lot of self-confidence and it took a long time before I was able to pursue my original talents and abilities. I want to spare my children this «diversions». I don't want school to take away their self-love. I don't want them to always learn for others like I did and, above all, I don't want them to lose the joy of learning!
And so my husband and I bring up our children in a needs-orientated way. We only have a few rules, but we stick to them consistently. We also try not to praise them too much, because praise usually relates to an achievement and this is another way of steering children in the direction their parents want them to go. Because children will do anything to please their parents.
Our children should be allowed to find their own way. A school should be the logical continuation of our education. But can public schools do that? We are very pessimistic about this. With assessment, exams and very little room for free learning, there seems to be little left for development. As our son will soon be starting kindergarten, we are already actively looking around to see which school has our values in its mission statement. Homeschooling would also be an option. I want my children to be able to learn in an intrinsic and strength-orientated way and, above all, with joy."
Unconditional love as a breeding ground
Marcel: "Unconditional love is the breeding ground for self-love. No matter which path our children take, I want to support them. My wife got the ball rolling with needs-orientated education and critical questioning of primary school and shared her thoughts with me.
Through various books, I was also able to get to grips with the topic of self-love and realised how much influence education and school have on children's self-love. You also learn a lot about yourself, and although my wife and I went through the school system in very different ways, the insights remain the same.
It is also a matter close to my heart to go through life with my children at eye level, and I would like to see a school with the same approach."
More articles on the topic of self-love:
- «Herr Orth, wie entsteht unser Selbstwertgefühl?»
- 7 Tipps, wie Sie das Selbstwertgefühl Ihres Kindes stärken
- Sich selbst etwas Gutes tun
- Selbstvertrauen und Selbstwertgefühl: Das starke Kind
- «Gefühle der Eltern beeinflussen den Selbstwert des Kindes»
- Ich erzähle: «Ein Kind ist kein Mini-Me»
- Wir erzählen: «Selbstliebe ist wichtiger als gute Noten»
