So, what do I look like?

The elderly lady on the street grabs my hair without asking and gushes: «Yes, he's lovely with his blond curls! Just like one from the old days!» I often had experiences like that as a child. That's why I wanted nothing more for my birthday than to be bald. A wish that was never fulfilled. My hair was the first thing I didn't like about myself for a long time - but of course it wasn't the only thing.

How did you feel about your appearance as a child, as a teenager? Are you mostly satisfied with your appearance now as an adult? Or do you always find something to criticise about yourself? Have you gone on a diet or made a new attempt at the gym in the last year to get your body in shape? Most of us would probably like to change one or two things about our appearance.

The greatest insecurities occur during puberty, when your own body is changing rapidly and you have to get to know yourself anew, find your place in your peer group and come to terms with your own attractiveness.

This is all part of normal development, which ideally leads to reconciliation with my own appearance and increased self-acceptance: I don't like everything about myself, but on the whole I can accept myself as I am.

60 per cent of adolescent girls feel too fat. Of the boys, only 22 per cent are satisfied with their body overall.

For more and more people, however, the discrepancy between their «actual» state and their «target» image is becoming a problem. A survey conducted by Health Promotion Switzerland revealed that 60 per cent of girls in German-speaking Switzerland between the ages of 13 and 17 feel too fat and would like to lose weight. Of the boys, only 22 per cent said they were satisfied with their body overall.

This has serious consequences: Eating disorders are on the rise worldwide. Especially in industrialised countries, with girls and women being particularly affected. It is striking that three quarters of all girls and boys who exhibit conspicuous eating behaviour and consider themselves too fat are objectively of normal weight, sometimes even underweight.

Another article on the topic:

How relentless ideals put us under pressure

When I went to school, you compared your own body with those of your classmates, maybe you read a «Bravo» now and then. Today, young people are drawn into the maelstrom of the fashion and beauty industry, nutrition gurus and cosmetic surgery and compare themselves with fitness influencers and models from casting programmes such as «Germany᾽s Next Topmodel».

The promise that you can achieve their ideal of beauty if you just make a little effort, work on yourself and become happy and successful is putting young people and adults under increasing pressure.

A large number of studies show this: Every time young people flick through a fashion lifestyle magazine, look at retouched photos on Instagram or watch an episode of a casting show, they feel more dissatisfied with their own bodies afterwards and are sometimes even ashamed or disgusted with themselves. If we want to help young people to feel better about their bodies, this is exactly where we can start.

We can encourage them to take a critical look at this industry. A good question to ask is: Who is making money from my insecurities? Is there really a problem with my appearance or my body or is someone suggesting this to me so that he or she can then sell me a «solution»?

The «perfect» body quickly becomes a full-time job. One that leaves no room for enjoyment, spontaneity and joie de vivre.

Fortunately, more and more influencers are giving young people a look behind the scenes and showing that the «perfect» body cannot be achieved in passing, but quickly becomes a full-time job. One that leaves no room for enjoyment, spontaneity and joie de vivre.

German fitness influencer Sophia Thiel, for example, speaks openly about how her fitness addiction drove her into an eating disorder. «I was desperate to get back to my top shape and was obsessed with the idea that I had to lose weight to get back online and be happy again,» she said in an interview.

Young people may ask themselves: is this really a life worth striving for? Sacrificing everything to work out from morning to night and eat according to strict diet plans just to achieve a certain figure? And is what I'm shown here even reality? Or are the pictures retouched and edited with filters?

It is even more effective to take a critical look at who we follow on social media, which magazines we read and which programmes we watch. Young people can learn to ask themselves the question: «Is this good for me? How does it make me feel?» If we stop following these pseudo role models, we may soon feel a sense of relief and realise that we can accept ourselves better.

Compassion and connection with others help combat shame

When we are ashamed of our bodies, we feel isolated, criticise ourselves and devalue ourselves. We constantly think about our supposed flaws. An effective way to reduce feelings of shame and reconcile with your own body is compassion. This can be shown to us by others or ourselves.

This includes admitting our feelings and being able to say to ourselves, for example: «It burdens you and makes you sad that you have a crooked nose and cellulite.» We can only accept something if we can allow it. It helps if we connect with others and realise: «Almost everyone around me is experiencing something similar. I'm not alone with my insecurities - it's what makes me human.»

We can also change our focus by realising what our body does for us every day.

Finally, we can learn to replace our dismissive voices with compassionate ones: «Yes, you don't have the legs you want, and that can make you sad - and at the same time you have so much that is beautiful about you and so much that makes you special.»

Perhaps we would like to concretise the last point a little more by standing in front of the mirror and consciously thinking about what we like about ourselves. Perhaps our gaze wanders over areas that we find ugly. If we linger there with our gaze, endure our feelings and treat ourselves with compassion, sometimes our view of it changes - or it loses significance.

We can also change our focus by realising what our body does for us every day and being grateful that it enables us to do so much. Perhaps we have a scar - a sign of our body's healing powers. Maybe we don't like our thighs as much - but they carry us every day.

Our body is more than just an accessory or a status symbol.