Rituals - valuable anchors in everyday life
Many people appreciate surprises and spontaneous activities or encounters in everyday life and even actively seek them out. At the same time, rituals and fixed routines make many things easier for us and allow us to plan our days and weeks. Or they prevent unnecessary conflicts and problems. Routines and fixed structures are just as important and useful at school as they are in everyday family life. They help children to predict what will happen next or how a situation will play out. This makes them feel safe and secure. This is particularly important in times of change or uncertainty.
Fixed structures make everyday life easier to plan and create space for spending time together as a family.
This is because routines provide stability and can help children to cope better with new situations - for example, when a school trip, an exam, a project week or a change of class is coming up. Even during the often hectic Advent period or after a long quarter just before the summer holidays, fixed routines and rituals help to ensure that the children don't go completely crazy with excitement, but can work with a reasonable degree of concentration. The more familiar a child is with such structured routines, the more they will be able to follow them or apply them themselves.
Routines help to reduce stress
Routines and structures also help us adults to organise our everyday lives and reduce stress. They are practical for parents because they make everyday life easier to plan and ensure that important tasks are not forgotten. They are also helpful in creating space for family time together by defining certain routines. In addition, you can plan specific free time for joint activities. At school, rituals also help to foster a sense of community and ensure that nothing is forgotten and that everyone is given equal consideration - for example with the «child of the week» ritual. To implement routines and structures, clear rules and procedures must be established.
A ritual only becomes a ritual when the same procedures are repeated over and over again.
It is important to take the children's needs into account and set realistic goals. In the family, daily routines such as mealtimes and bedtimes or regular rituals such as reading aloud before bedtime can help to organise everyday life in a more structured way. Most children, for example, find it much easier to settle down to sleep in the evening if fixed routines are adhered to. Weekly schedules or recurring to-do lists can also be very useful in everyday life and help to keep track of upcoming tasks.
It's no different at school. It helps if the procedures for moving from the classroom to the gym or library are always the same. And if the process for handing in (homework) assignments is always the same, there is no need for new explanations or instructions every time - at most a reminder every now and then.
It takes patience to get a process right
In order to successfully implement rituals, patience is needed at the beginning so that they can become established. After all, a ritual only becomes a ritual when the same procedures are repeated over and over again and can thus be internalised. Once they are in place, they become almost automatic.
For us adults, for example, brushing our teeth before going to bed is a fixed routine, whereas children still have to get used to it with difficulty and often with reluctance. As soon as it is established, however, this ritual reliably helps to ensure good dental and oral hygiene in the long term, despite the fact that it is actually a tedious task in the short term.
If children are involved, they are more willing to adhere to rituals
Wherever possible, the children can and should be involved in organising the routines. In this way, they are more willing to adhere to the established routines and feel that they are taken seriously. To stay with the example of brushing teeth: It helps if the child is allowed to choose the toothpaste or uses a toothbrush that they like.
In other rituals, the children may have a say in the content or they may (co-)determine the order in which tasks are completed or when. It is important to remain flexible and respond to the children's needs.
Rituals remain important for young people too. This can be seen, for example, in the greeting rituals they practise with their peers.
Of course, these change over time. It may sometimes be necessary to deviate from the established procedures, introduce new routines or adapt them permanently to the changed circumstances. As the children get older, their needs, skills and abilities change. This means that routines should also change. Older children can take on more and more responsibility for rituals or other routines.
For parents, this means increasingly letting go and only asking questions or checking up on them from time to time. At school, older pupils are also given more personal responsibility. They take on tasks for the school community and organise their learning time and work assignments increasingly independently.
Rituals for young people fulfil many purposes
Nevertheless, rituals remain important for young people - even if they are no longer the same as they used to be. This can be seen, for example, in the greeting rituals they practise with their peers. The sometimes complex processes and gestures fulfil the same purpose as other fixed routines and structures: they make it possible to predict what will happen next and thus provide stability and security. This creates trust and promotes a sense of community. Last but not least, they also signalise: I belong!
Routines and structures can and should therefore play an important role in everyday family life and at school. Clear rules and fixed routines provide security and stability, reduce stress and create space for spending time together. Lessons can be organised more effectively and the social climate is promoted. With a good balance of fixed routines and flexibility, parents and teachers can help make everyday family and school life calmer and more reliable - especially when things get hectic.
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