Ms Tanner, how should parents react when their child keeps getting rejected?
First, we must ask the question: What constitutes a lot of rejections, or rather, how many rejections are completely normal in an application process for an apprenticeship?
Do you know the answer?
The Nahtstellenbarometer, a statistical recording system run by the State Secretariat for Education, Research and Innovation, collects the figures annually. In 2024, for example, it took an average of ten applications before an apprenticeship contract could be signed.
Conversely, this means that nine rejections also landed in the letterbox or email inbox by then. As mentioned, this is an average value. Accordingly, the rejections are not distributed «fairly». Some receive more, others less.
So, as a mother, I can sit back and relax when the fifth rejection letter lands in the postbox?
No, you should take the situation seriously, just as the entire application process should be taken seriously. After all, your son or daughter is probably not feeling very well either when they keep receiving rejections. This is always disappointing and can trigger negative feelings.
What could be the consequence?
Reactions can vary greatly depending on personality. Some people take every rejection personally and quickly become insecure. In the worst case, this can lead to them losing confidence in themselves. Doubts are already present in adolescence, and rejections can naturally reinforce them. Perhaps they are also insecure because they were not told the reason for the rejection.
Parents cannot take negative experiences away from their children, but they can accompany them through them.
And the others?
Others are confident in their personality and see rejection as part of the game. This is what we convey in career counselling, based on the knowledge that rejection is part and parcel of the apprenticeship search.
What role do parents play in this?
Parents are important anyway, and even more so in moments of defeat. Ideally, mothers and fathers are the most important reference persons in the career choice process. Conversely, this also means that an important cornerstone is missing for young people if they are not there.
Suppose my son is one of those who have already received their twentieth rejection. What then?
It is important to show empathy and deal with the situation sensitively. It may help to talk about your own setbacks. However, you should not abandon your role as a parent. Parents cannot take this negative experience away from their child, but they can support them through it. Just as they play a very important supporting role throughout the entire application process. When parents tell me in a consultation, «We applied there,» alarm bells start ringing for me. While this is well-intentioned, the parental role should remain a supporting one in the application process. The same applies to rejections.
What reaction is pointless when faced with rejection?
It is essential that parents do not become stressed, so that the only thing left to consider is the choice of career. Otherwise, the search for an apprenticeship will become incredibly negative. Anything disparaging or negative said to the young person will only make them more insecure, which is unfavourable or even harmful. Comparisons with siblings who had a smoother application process should also be avoided. Similarly, offers of help such as «The company here in the village is still looking for someone, why don't you do that?» are well-intentioned, but equally misguided. Simply doing something for the sake of it is not a sustainable solution.
There are good interim solutions if you don't get an apprenticeship on your first attempt.
What helps?
Even if you receive a rejection, you should keep an eye on the career choice timeline. What stage are we at? This is the guideline that provides certainty. You can maintain your child's motivation by confirming that they have made an effort. «You even had an interview!» is encouraging, even if it was followed by a rejection.
Then the dossier can be reviewed. Perhaps there are gaps or ambiguities that need to be revised. Or it might make sense to make an appointment with a career counsellor. The key is not to wait too long, but to accept support. Some young people take a detour, but then start a job later on with greater maturity.
What if they opt for an interim solution instead of an apprenticeship?
As we all know, grass doesn't grow faster if you pull on it. Some young people simply need a little longer to be ready to choose a career. There are good interim solutions if they don't get an apprenticeship on their first attempt. For example, they can spend this year working on skills that are relevant to their desired career, thereby increasing their chances next year. Or they can improve their qualifications if their performance level does not meet the requirements of their desired career. I also recommend that everyone have a Plan A and a Plan B ready at the beginning of the application process.
Why?
There are areas where it is simply more difficult to find apprenticeships because there are fewer of them. In the creative sector, for example, it is more difficult to secure a training place. In this case, Plan A might be to aim directly for an apprenticeship as a 3D poly designer and Plan B might be a related profession. Even if your academic record does not meet the requirements for the apprenticeship, there are still options: there are individual professions with different levels of requirements or EBA apprenticeships with the prospect of completing the EFZ apprenticeship supplement afterwards. The options are so diverse that it is worth persevering even after a rejection.
