Parental burnout: Our dossier in April

How can parents avoid falling into the exhaustion trap? Editor-in-chief Nik Niethammer shares his personal emergency tips and tells us more about the parent burnout dossier in the cover film . And all this between moving boxes.

Dear readers
I recently received a call for help from a mum: «My son is three years old and I'm overwhelmed. I realise that I give him too much attention, but I don't know how to make my boundaries clear when I have to cook, clean or do the laundry and don't have time to play with him. He never occupies himself and stays with me until I've finished my task. Sometimes he sings so loudly that I have to ask him to sing quietly or not at all because I find it extremely annoying. It's not possible to have a quiet conversation with my husband because our son constantly pushes himself to the fore as soon as it's not about him. How do I set boundaries for my son without rejecting him or making him feel like he's not important?»
Well, I'm neither a psychologist nor a family therapist. I am a journalist. Together with my team, I try to find answers to these and other questions. By letting experts have their say and publishing this magazine. This dossier, «Parent burnout», aims to find out what is behind the «disgust syndrome» and why parents are increasingly feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. And say: «This is not how we imagined things would be with the children.» We show how parents can avert crises and which paths lead out of exhaustion.

The latest issue of the parents' magazine Fritz+Fränzi was produced in between boxes of moving boxes. Nik Niethammer talks about our dossier on the subject of parental burnout. Click here for the table of contents of the new issue. Video: Florina Schwander

As a father of two (our children are 9 and 7 years old), I know all too well the worries and hardships that the mother addresses in her letter. How do I set boundaries without rejecting my children? How do we manage as a couple not to miss out despite having a family? How do we manage to escape the feeling of permanent exhaustion?

I have prepared an «emergency list» for stressful periods of parental leave:

  • Ich bin nicht allein mit dem Gefühl, dass das Leben mit Kindern oftmals anstrengend, fordernd und frustrierend ist. Es ist sehr tröstlich zu wissen, dass es anderen Eltern genauso geht.
  • Ich muss nicht perfekt sein. Das Glück meiner Kinder hängt nicht allein von mir ab.
  • Ich versuche, herausfordernden Momenten mit unseren Kindern gelassen zu begegnen – jeden Tag aufs Neue.
  • Ich wiederhole, wenn es mal besonders anstrengend ist, mantramässig: «Es ist nur eine  Phase. Es geht vorbei.»
  • Ich halte mich an das Lieblingsmotto meiner Frau: «Loslassen. Entspannen. Einver­standen sein.»
  • Ich erinnere mich an den Lieblingssatz unseres Kinderarztes auf die meisten unserer Fragen und Bedenken: «Das ist völlig normal.»

I would be delighted if our dossier and my emergency note can help you a little through
help you through difficult times. And, as always, I look forward to receiving mail from you.
Yours sincerely - Nik Niethammer

Order issue:

  • Are you interested in the magazine 04/19 with the dossier «Parent burnout»? You can order it here.