Letting go: Our topic in September
Nothing that we hold on to can develop freely. Our September dossier is all about letting go. My colleague Michaela Davison asked psychotherapist Joëlle Gut why we find it so difficult to let go. Our author also explores the question of how letting go changes depending on a child's developmental phase. And she shows which tricks parents can use to improve their letting go skills.
Do you recognise this? You're lying awake, your mind is racing and your mental to-do list is getting longer and longer: child 1 needs a birthday present for their best friend, child 2 needs a check-up at the dentist and the tax return is overdue. Mental load - that's the name of the invisible mental work that makes us almost compulsively keep lists of things that need to be done or must not be forgotten.
Interesting fact: Mental load doesn't mean that we have to get a birthday present for our daughter, but that we have to remember to get a present because tomorrow is her birthday. «If you want to reduce mental load, you should give up entire areas - and then stop worrying about them,» says psychologist Filomena Sabatella. In order to share the mental load more fairly as a couple, it is important to first make the many invisible tasks visible.
My secret tip for reducing stress and mental load goes like this: I sigh. Sighing relieves pressure, relaxes the muscles and loosens the diaphragm. Researchers say that sighing is the «bowel movement of the soul».
It may be that my sighing sometimes, well, stresses out the loved ones around me - but it helps me. In this sense: Oh!
Yours sincerely,
Yours, Nik Niethammer
