Kindergarten: get off to a good start - arrive safely

So now the time has come: your child is in kindergarten. A new, exciting world is opening up and brings with it many changes. Is your little one «really that big already»? A new phase of life is beginning for your child and for you too, which holds many wonderful but also challenging moments in store. You will discover new sides to your child and be amazed at all the things that will happen in the next two years.

In kindergarten, the child's network of relationships expands. They gain a new attachment figure and learn to confide in them. For many children, the kindergarten teacher becomes an immensely important person who takes on great significance. They observe her, learn from her, want to bring her something and quote «what Mrs X» would say about it at home. Even if it's not easy for some parents when someone they don't know suddenly becomes so important, it's a wonderful thing that strengthens the child.

Before this happens, however, the child has to settle in and get to know the kindergarten teacher. For some children, this separation from their parents is associated with a great deal of stress. They cry when their mum or dad says goodbye, cling to them and constantly ask in the first few weeks when kindergarten will be over and their parents will finally return. Especially for children who have never been cared for before, it is unfamiliar that their parents are not there to reassure and comfort them.

When children feel insecure, they look for support and closeness. As a parent, you can't be there for your child in the kindergarten - but you can still do a lot to make them feel safe. Children find it easier to engage with the nursery school teacher and build a relationship with her if the parents let them know: «You are in good hands here and we trust you to take this step.»

Making it easier to say goodbye

It is often helpful if the children do not «have to» stay in the kindergarten all by themselves at the beginning, but know that they have a beloved cuddly toy by their side or can take a small, personal item from their parents with them.

A clear goodbye is important. It is a breach of trust if the parents steal away in an unobserved moment.

As a parent, you can wish your child and their cuddly toy a good morning at nursery and say goodbye to them both with love. A clear farewell is important. It is a breach of trust if the parents steal away at an unobserved moment. It is also difficult if the parents are unable to leave themselves and remain in the corridor or cloakroom to see «if the child can make it». The transition is easier if the parents say goodbye with a hug or a kiss and then say to themselves: «From now on, the nursery school teacher is in charge.»

In some cases, children are also more relaxed if the daily routine is discussed in advance and they know who will pick them up and what will be done afterwards. Most children quickly develop a sense of security in their new environment. They orientate themselves to the structures and the daily routine, know that their parents will be back and gain trust in the kindergarten teacher. Parents can also rely on the fact that the kindergarten teachers have a lot of experience in dealing with this situation and can support the children.

This experience is also new for children with crèche experience

There are sometimes children who barely manage this step. It is terrible for parents if they have the impression that their child is in despair and cries all morning or sits in the corner and waits. In this case, it is advisable to talk to the nursery teacher. In some cases, you will realise that the worries are unfounded and after a few moments, the child will calm down and be able to engage with the group.

For some children, the separation from their parents is associated with great stress.

If it happens that the child cannot be calmed down, it can also be agreed that you pick them up again after a while or that you as a parent can stay for a while and read a little for yourself away from the action. If a child is still unable to take this step despite being accompanied and supported by their carers, this may be an indication that they are not yet ready for kindergarten.

In kindergarten, your child learns to adapt to other children

There are not just 25 children in the kindergarten group, but 25 personalities with different needs, character traits, strengths and weaknesses, interests and play preferences. Your child will learn to navigate this diversity and adapt to a wide variety of children. They will develop and refine their social skills, learn to make contact, join in with ongoing group activities and negotiate games and agreements.

Things are not always harmonious. Sympathies and antipathies, conflicts and rivalries develop. This can be difficult for you as parents. At the same time, it is an important learning environment for your child to set boundaries and accept the boundaries of others. They need to find ways to agree with others, resolve conflicts and reconcile.

It is helpful to assume that the kindergarten teacher, like you, wants the best for your child.

This experience is also new for children who have already attended a crèche. As one carer is now responsible for so many children, peers become more important. It is not always possible for an adult to be on hand and so each child has the opportunity to take responsibility, offer support, accept help and comfort each other. It is often during this time that the first deep friendships grow, which sometimes even accompany the child beyond their school years.

Some children are overstimulated by the hustle and bustle of kindergarten

Some children find it difficult to settle into the new group. Some are shy and can't make friends. Others play to the fore, dominate the play situation and offend other children. Some children are simply overstimulated by the hustle and bustle, the noise and the multitude of new experiences. When they come home, they often seem exhausted or hyper and aggressive.

For your child, this change means a major adjustment. Even if the day at kindergarten is full of fun and exciting moments, it will be exhausting for your child. It is similar to how we adults feel when we are familiarising ourselves with a new job, for example. Even if we feel comfortable in the team, have a good relationship with our superiors and enjoy our tasks, we are exhausted in the evening. You will be a great help to your child if you create a space at home where they can relax.

Some children enjoy it when they are allowed to talk in detail about their experiences at nursery school and their parents listen to them. Others react rather allergically to the question «What did you do today?». They want to be allowed to arrive home in peace after kindergarten and enjoy being entertained by a radio play, playing something for themselves and being close to their parents without having to talk.

Creating time and space for new friendships

In addition to the need to relax, a second desire becomes stronger: most children want to deepen the new contacts they make in kindergarten in their free time. Parents are giving their child a great gift if they consciously ensure that the child has enough time and opportunities to do so.

Friendships deepen best in free play, when there is an unplanned afternoon that the children can fill with their interests, inclinations and play ideas. They benefit from parents who are there without imposing themselves.

It also opens up new freedoms for you as a parent when you realise: I can answer my emails in the living room while the children build Lego in the next room, mime doll mums or mix a disgusting magic broth in the garden.

Walking with others is an important opportunity to socialise. If you are afraid to let your child walk to kindergarten alone: Use services such as the school bus or pedibus. It may be more convenient to take your child to nursery in the morning by car, but you are depriving your child of many important moments.

Small tips for good cooperation

Kindergarten is a wonderful learning environment for children who have social difficulties. They learn social skills best by observing others. Some children benefit from adults who specifically encourage them to learn from others and point out social relationships.

Nursery teachers very often use this by saying to a shy child, for example: «Look, Nadine keeps looking over at you - I think she would like to play with you.» Or «Look: Murat and Lara are just pulling out «Tempo, little snail». That's much more fun with the three of us.» In this way, they draw the child's attention to contact signals from other children and encourage them to respond to them.

Children who behave wildly, impetuously or dominantly can also be taught to better recognise social relationships. To do this, it is helpful to look out for successful moments and good examples: «Francesco was really happy that you let him decide.» «I know you wanted to keep swinging. Look how happy Tamara is that it's her turn now.»

Or: «It's difficult when you have to wait so long for your turn, isn't it? You're already doing really well.» As a parent, you can also incorporate these small aids into everyday life, for example when you are at the playground with your child or they are spending time with a sibling.

Many new requirements

Many parents are amazed at the huge leap in development that their children make in the first year of kindergarten. Everyday kindergarten life offers the child a multitude of learning opportunities. In the circle of chairs, children are encouraged to listen to others, wait, be patient and express themselves.

Children will adhere to rules and routines that may differ from what applies at home.

In the craft corner, they have the opportunity to train their fine motor skills, realise their creativity and develop perseverance. The puppet corner allows them to immerse themselves in complex role-playing games, get to know the perspective of others, empathise and inspire others with their ideas.

The group is an important source of inspiration: the children challenge each other, serve as role models and offer themselves up for comparison. For many children, it is new to be asked to do so much at once: Suddenly they are expected to finish a task, even if they have lost the desire to do so.

They have to adhere to rules and procedures that may differ from what applies at home. Some are outside the family cocoon for the first time, where every developmental step is greeted with enthusiasm and every drawing is admired. Instead, they are in a group with peers who are worse at some things, but also better at others.

They have to share the kindergarten teacher's attention with others and learn to deal with the fact that they are one child among many. In the course of kindergarten, the child faces all these challenges.

The kindergarten teacher has the task of assessing a child's level of development

Sometimes you as a parent will be happy and proud of the progress, sometimes you may be worried and wonder whether your child can do it all. It is important for children to realise: My parents trust me to do something and accompany me. They form a team with my kindergarten teacher, whom they like and respect.

Successful moments help children to realise social connections.

This idea is particularly important when the nursery school teacher gives you feedback on your child's development and points out strengths, but also areas that your child is still finding difficult. While you know your daughter or son best, the kindergarten teacher knows children of this age best.

She also has the task of assessing the child's level of development and sharing her observations with you. It is helpful if you assume that the kindergarten teacher wants the best for your child, just like you as parents. We wish you and your child a good start to this exciting adventure.