Parents praise their child for a good school grade, complain about the neighbour or become impatient when they are stressed. We are constantly communicating with our children, both verbally and non-verbally, consciously and unconsciously – and all of this shapes them. Whatever we do or don't do as parents, say or don't say, has an influence. What we specifically teach them, such as saying «please» and «thank you», is part of their upbringing. Upbringing is part of shaping a child's character, but there is much more to it than that.
A difficult childhood does not necessarily lead to a troubled adult life – and the opposite is also true.
Imprinting is a complex process – and mum and dad are by no means the only variable. Although increasing individualisation in recent decades has led society to largely transfer responsibility for children to parents, as Swiss developmental paediatrician Oskar Jenni describes, mothers and fathers cannot control their children's life paths as much as they might like to. Other influencing factors also play an important role.
What shapes a person? What is the evolutionary benefit of imprinting? How much does imprinting influence our decisions and actions? And is it possible to break free from our imprinting? This dossier aims to get to the bottom of these and other questions.
The foundation is laid early on
First of all, a person's character is shaped by a combination of genetic predisposition, environment and personality. It is undisputed that the foundations for our entire lives are laid in the early years. Our character influences who we fall in love with, what is important to us in life and which political party we vote for. And yet many connections remain unexplored.
One thing is clear: a difficult childhood does not necessarily lead to a troubled adult life. Conversely, a carefree upbringing is no guarantee of a happy life. There are risk factors that increase the likelihood of psychological difficulties, and resilience factors that make a happy life more likely.
The term imprinting originally comes from behavioural research, where it describes the phenomenon of young animals fixating on certain objects and accepting them as their reference person. Well known is the research of Austrian Nobel Prize winner Konrad Lorenz, who showed that goslings imprint on the first moving object they see after hatching as their «mother».
In a psychological context, the term imprinting is broadened to refer to the long-term effects of childhood experiences. Unlike other forms of learning, imprinting is relatively stable – but still changeable.
Embossing is useful
Imprinting begins in the womb. The foetus tastes, hears and absorbs the mother's stress hormones. During pregnancy, the unborn child's neural structures are particularly sensitive and therefore susceptible to external influences. Even after birth, the brain is still far from mature and children usually absorb everything they experience unconsciously.
A child has the ability to learn about any culture.
Lutz Jäncke, neuropsychologist
From a biological perspective, it makes perfect sense for children to adapt as well as possible to their environment and the people they are attached to. This is because humans are born helpless and dependent. «A child has the ability to learn any culture,» says Lutz Jäncke, Professor of Neuropsychology at the University of Zurich, in the podcast «1 Stunde 1 Thema» (1 hour, 1 topic). The extremely plastic brain is a special feature of humans. In order to survive, children must adapt to the system of rules into which they are born.
The child does everything it can to build a strong bond with its caregivers so that they will look after it and not let it starve. Everything the little one experiences is burned into its memory. The more often it experiences something, the deeper these traces become. «If an area of the brain is repeatedly activated, it changes anatomically,» explains Jäncke.
What shapes us
Our early experiences influence how we think, feel and act later in life. Childhood lays the foundation for how we approach the world. It shapes whether we value community spirit or individual success more highly. Whether we tend to see the glass as half full or half empty. How we think politically.
Childhood shapes how we behave in relationships and whether we are capable of forming lasting bonds. It shapes how we deal with emotions and stress. And whether we feel sufficiently cared for, accepted and heard by our closest caregivers, enabling us to develop a basic sense of trust that carries us through life.
There are numerous factors that influence how and who we become. The most important ones are our genes, our family, our wider environment and our ancestors.
The role of genes
Mothers and fathers pass on a genetic blueprint to their children: predispositions for eye colour, height or diseases. Recent research shows that not only physical characteristics but also life experiences can be passed on biologically. Genes react to environmental influences – especially harmful ones.
Due to the time spent together in the womb, twins first bond with each other and only then with their mother.
Ilka Poth, twin expert
Experiences such as hunger, stress, violence or neglect leave traces through biochemical processes that can be passed on to the next generation and shape a newborn from the very beginning. These are referred to as epigenetic mechanisms. They control which genes are active in a cell and which are silenced.
The role of the family
Parental behaviour is relevant to a child's development, but it does not always lead to the same imprinting. This is because imprinting is not a one-way street. The child and its environment influence each other. German psychologist Stefanie Stahl illustrates this in her book «Vom Jein zum Ja!» (From Maybe to Yes! ) using an example.
Let's assume that a child is not very cuddly. If the caregiver ignores the signals of distance and hugs the child more than it likes, it will learn early on that its boundaries are not respected. It could develop into an adult who is afraid of commitment.
The same parents would not give the impression of being overbearing with a «cuddly child». It is also possible that the caregiver would react to the rejection of their child with hurt feelings and become distant. They would therefore be a cooler mother or father than they would be with a child who needs more cuddles.
Different influences on siblings
The fact that identical living conditions leave different marks on different individuals is also evident among siblings. «Siblings can be very different, even though they have the same parents,» says Ilka Poth, a coach for twins and parents from Hamburg.
Due to their character, every child reacts differently to their parents' upbringing. In addition, although siblings grow up in the same environment, the age gap, their position within the family (firstborn, second-born, etc.), gender constellation, and how parents deal with sibling dynamics also play a role.
You cannot think about education without considering everything that surrounds it.
Kira Ammann, educational scientist
Growing up as a twin has a particularly formative influence. «Because of the time they spend together in the womb, twins first bond with each other,» explains Poth, «and only then with their mother.» Twins develop a shared identity, partly because they go through childhood in parallel due to being the same age.
«Later on, they have to learn to see themselves as independent individuals and set boundaries.» Children naturally seek out differences and look for a niche within the system that is not yet occupied, emphasises the twin expert. «This creates a unique dynamic in every family.»
The family constellation and situation also have a significant impact: Who is the child growing up with? Is one parent a single parent? Are there grandparents who maintain contact with the child? Or a godfather who serves as a role model? How is the family doing financially?
The role of the environment
The environment also plays a role in shaping a child: peers, teachers, the living environment, the education system, culture and the spirit of the times. «You can't think about education without considering everything that surrounds it,» says Kira Ammann, educational scientist and senior assistant at the University of Zurich.
A child growing up in times of war or famine develops differently than one growing up in peaceful times with good nutrition. Parents who are struggling to survive or who have to work 15 hours a day in a factory are unlikely to have the capacity to think about needs-based parenting. Adults treat children differently depending on what everyday life looks like and what cultural norms apply.
We try to achieve in our lives what our parents and grandparents lost.
Sabine Lück, family therapist
It also depends on who has the say in society, says Ammann. Is it men, the church, science – or all members? According to Kira Ammann, social values and ethical and moral attitudes are particularly evident in the way we treat children.
Culture shapes parenting style
The parenting style is also influenced by the virtues that are in demand on the labour market. If obedience and fulfilling one's duties are the top priorities, parents tend to be strict and authoritarian in order to prepare their children for adult life in the best possible way. In a competitive culture such as that of the USA, parents control and push their children hard.
The situation is different in a welfare state such as Switzerland, which allows freedoms and exercises less control. The parenting style there also tends to be more democratic. This is according to the World Parenting Survey, in which researchers at the Jacobs Centre for Productive Youth Development at the University of Zurich investigated how parents around the world raise their children in 2023.
Of course, different parenting styles coexist at all times and in every culture. But the current zeitgeist leads to collective beliefs. It shapes an individual whether the idea that children can be moulded according to one's own ideas is widespread in society. Or whether parenting in the family and at school is seen as a process with an open outcome, as is more common in this country today.
«For many parents of the younger generation, it is now considered good form to take an active interest in education,» says Kira Ammann. This requires time, but also access to educational knowledge. «Thanks to the social media that parents consume, new ideas reach them much faster today than in the past.»
The role of ancestors
Not only does the history of society as a whole influence how parents raise and shape their children, but so does family history. The fates of ancestors are relevant. The effects of trauma suffered can be passed down through several generations.
«We strive for balance and try to achieve in our lives what our parents and grandparents lost,» writes German family therapist Sabine Lück in her book "Vererbtes Schicksal» (Inherited Destiny). «If, for example, they left their house, farm and all their possessions behind when they fled, then perhaps the most important thing for us is to build our own little house.» Lück talks about a loyalty contract that we have unconsciously entered into with our ancestors. We did not ask for this burden, yet we carry it with us nonetheless.
Exactly how these many influences interact to shape individual character is still the subject of research.
Trauma can be passed down biologically through genes over several generations. In her new book , Vererbtes Glück (Inherited Happiness), therapist Lück emphasises that it is not only negative traits that can be passed on to future generations, but also resilience – i.e. psychological strength.
A virtual pinball machine
So much for the most important influencing factors. But how do genes, upbringing, character, environment, socio-economic situation and zeitgeist interact to shape a person's individual character? A virtual pinball machine that can be played online offers a light-hearted approach to the interplay of these various influences.
The game was developed by educational researchers at the Max Planck Institute in Berlin. At the beginning, you are given a ball whose size is related to the genetic predisposition and socio-economic situation of the family you are randomly assigned to in the game. With a larger ball, you have a better start in life or in the game, because the playing field has holes through which only small balls can fall.
Points are earned by hitting health, status and education targets with the ball. Healthy eating, dental insurance and private tuition, for example, have a positive impact. The more points you earn, the more successful your future life will be.
How does embossing work?
Exactly how these many influences interact to shape individual character is still the subject of research. «There are few studies that combine several of these factors,» says Flavia Wehrle from the Children's Hospital in Zurich. «Usually, one factor is singled out, such as the development of intelligence or the question of what effect reading aloud has,» explains the developmental scientist.
Cognitive potential can only be fully exploited if environmental conditions are favourable.
Flavia Wehrle, Development Scientist
In addition, most studies only consider a short period of time – for example, the effects of frequent reading aloud to young children on their start at school. Wehrle and her team want to change this as part of the project «An Integrative Lifespan Approach to Health and Development» by considering the entire lifespan and combining several points at the same time.
Unique study project
The research group is investigating which factors in childhood contribute to a healthy life. The scientists are working with data from the Zurich Longitudinal Studies, which also formed the basis for the classic books «Babyjahre» (Baby Years) and «Kinderjahre» (Childhood Years) by renowned Swiss paediatrician Remo Largo.
Since the 1950s, almost 1,000 people in Zurich have been followed from birth, repeatedly interviewed, observed and examined – this wealth of data spanning their entire lifespans is unique worldwide. As the oldest study participants are now around 70 years old, the Zurich research team is able to investigate the long-term effects of childhood experiences.
One topic, for example, is the question of how strongly health problems early in life affect health in adulthood. «For a long time, it was thought that biological risks such as premature birth or a heart defect had the greatest influence on later health,» says Wehrle.
«We now know that medical problems are indeed a risk factor for atypical development, but that they do not explain everything.» The social environment, for example, has a very significant effect on health.
What has a greater influence: genes or experiences?
Wehrle puts forward the as yet unproven theory that socio-economic factors such as nutrition, physical activity, cognitive stimulation and, above all, the quality of family relationships are more relevant to a person's later mental and physical well-being than biological predisposition.
This can be seen, for example , in the area of intelligence: cognitive potential is genetically determined. «But this potential can only be fully exploited if the environmental conditions are right.»
The crucial question is: what shapes a child more, their genes or their experiences? This topic is hotly debated in the scientific community and is being investigated, for example, with the help of large twin studies. Since the Zurich research group does not have any genetic material at its disposal, this point is not central to their work.
Personal development begins in the womb – and only ends with death.
Other topics she is investigating include the effects of sibling relationships, parents' educational attainment and the school environment on development and health throughout life. «Little is known about the long-term consequences of these factors,» says Wehrle.
Childhood is extremely important for the rest of a person's life, the scientist emphasises. There has been a paradigm shift in research: whereas previously only researchers in the field of childhood dealt with the first years of life, gerontologists are now also interested in childhood. The awareness that ageing begins at birth has become widely accepted.
The brain remains capable of learning into old age
A person is shaped by their genes and their experiences in the early years of life. But how stable is this shaping? Are we at the mercy of our origins? The answer, from both a psychological and medical perspective, is a clear no. Those who have had the misfortune of a difficult start in life can learn to overwrite old patterns. The human brain is particularly malleable in the first twenty years or so of life, but remains capable of learning and modelling into old age.
Since epigenetic marks on genes are variable, silenced genes can be reactivated. Studies show that the epigenetic profile improves when people eat healthier or stop smoking, for example.
If mice that have had traumatic experiences during their early childhood live in pleasant conditions as adults, both their own behaviour and that of their offspring normalises. Epigenetics is a relatively young field of research. But one thing is certain: experiences in childhood do not have to remain etched in the memory for the rest of one's life. Personality development begins in the womb – and only ends with death.
