Immediate help for families affected by ADHD

Lisbeth Furrer's voice is warm and deeply relaxed: «It's no longer mainly parents of boys with problems, but increasingly also parents of quiet girls and adults who contact us in connection with a possible or existing diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),» says the head of elpos Central Switzerland during our telephone conversation.

The 57-year-old has been working for elpos Zentralschweiz, a regional association under the Swiss umbrella organisation for ADHD elpos Switzerland, since 2013. As a mother herself, she was travelling with an ADHD-affected child in the family.

Thanks to the supportive input from elpos, she was able to navigate through life in a stronger position. In her role as head of the specialist centre and ADHD coach icp, she would like to pass on her wide-ranging experience and broad ADHD expertise to other families, those affected and their environment.

Mrs Furrer, you have been advising families on ADHD for almost ten years. What questions are parents most concerned about?

We continue to receive many enquiries about ADHD diagnosis and the various treatment options. However, in recent years and especially in the last few months with Corona, we have been receiving an increasing number of calls from families in an emergency situation. The families concerned have an acute problem and don't know what to do next. In other words, there has been a sharp increase in requests for immediate help and strategies for everyday family life.

Can you give us an example?

Let's take the topic of homework. People with ADHD find it difficult to concentrate for long periods of time. They are easily distracted, daydream or can suddenly snap or lack motivation. The daily homework can lead to constant conflict.

How can the situation be defused?

In our telephone consultations, we start by simply listening. We take up to 60 minutes. As a first step, most people find it very helpful to be able to talk about their worries and confide in someone. Then we take a closer look at the situation: What is the issue? What rules apply? Are they helpful? How can rules be developed together? What does it take for implementation to succeed? And what happens if they are not adhered to?

Parents often only see the child's weaknesses. I then always ask: What is going well? And have them draw up a plus-minus list. Then they see that there are usually a lot more positives than they realise.

Could you illustrate this with the topic of homework?

It is very important that the child concerned is always involved and that you do not make decisions over their head. Otherwise rules make no sense. The following questions can help: What is the best time for homework? Where can the child concentrate well and what tools and structures does he or she need to complete the tasks? Is there a place for the child to retreat to where they can calm down if they don't succeed with their homework, or a punching bag to absorb a possible tantrum? This needs to be discussed in a quiet moment. Talking in the middle of a tantrum is useless.

Back to the increase in immediate help. Do you see a connection with coronavirus in that various contacts or control mechanisms are still being reduced and problems are becoming more acute and more targeted in the family?

The long-lasting and constantly changing pandemic phase is very challenging for the family system and our entire society. Many are confronted with fears and conflicts that are new. Fortunately, help is being sought when the need is great. The demand has pushed the existing services to their limits. As tensions are very widespread and escalations are quicker and more severe, a contact point is needed immediately. Long waiting times are difficult. We can provide real help here and cushion a lot of the impact.

6 tips for everyday life with ADHD

1. think positively

In the evening, have each child tell you what was particularly nice about that day. Keep a list of happy events. Smile. Look for companions who understand you. The time and company you give your children is an investment in the future.

Read more tips from the ADHD organisation elpos here.

What other tips or strategies do you have for parents in need?

Parents often only see their child's weaknesses. Their child is disruptive at school or in their social environment, is aggressive, annoying or too dreamy. I then always ask: What's going well? And have them draw up a plus-minus list. Then they see in black and white that there are usually many more positives than they realise. That takes the pressure off and motivates them to tackle something more difficult.

Sometimes those affected also lack patience. ADHD can accompany people for a lifetime. It doesn't end with two sessions at the kinesiologist.

It is also good for the children concerned if their weaknesses are not just harped on.

In any case, like any person. People with ADHD can have great strengths. They are often extremely imaginative, creative, empathetic, have a strong sense of justice or can be very efficient, enthusiastic and charming.

You also offer counselling on the various therapy options in your on-site consultations. How do you go about this?

It is important to us that we explain the forms of therapy in a neutral and well-founded manner. In doing so, we motivate people to choose a moderate, multimodal therapy that is tailored to the person affected and their environment. We help to reduce anxiety and try to arouse curiosity about alternatives and exercise-friendly leisure activities. The focus is on analysing the current situation. What has already been done and where is there a need for action? Trying out something here and there is rather problematic. Sometimes those affected also lack patience. ADHD can accompany people for a lifetime. It doesn't end with two sessions at the kinesiologist.

What about the acceptance of ADHD? Has anything changed in recent years?

ADHD is now well researched and there is a wide range of support options available. The diagnosis provides clarity and relief: ADHD can be explained and nobody is «to blame». You can't x-ray ADHD like a broken leg. The diagnosis is made after a careful and complex process of exclusion by a specialist. ADHD sufferers can show very different manifestations. In the meantime, it is no longer mainly the conspicuous boys who are recognised, but increasingly also the quiet girls. They often have good cognitive abilities, which can be helped to flourish with helpful therapies and strategies.