«I have never seen fatherhood as a burden»
"I became a father for the first time when I was 21 and living in my home country of New Zealand. My girlfriend had become pregnant unplanned. I cancelled my plans to study marine biology and got a permanent job at the newspaper I was photographing for. We got married and a year after Isaac was born, Danielle announced her arrival. My desire to provide an intact family for the two of them was great. My own father had left when I was three. My mum, who was a cook, brought me and my brother up on her own. Whether it was changing wheels, mending appliances or repairing the roof: Mum could do it alone. If something didn't work, then fix it, she said. That left its mark on me.
My ex-wife didn't react at all to my suggestion that the children should live with me. That was sobering.
There were often arguments with my ex-wife. Nevertheless, I held on to the relationship for a long time. I believed that two parents were part of a safe harbour. We moved to the Cook Islands, her home. When the children were seven and eight, we separated. My ex-wife didn't put up the slightest objection to my suggestion that she let them live with me - she simply went back to New Zealand. That was sobering. I had good friends who the children could stay with when I had a lot to do. But I also taught them to be independent, they had to help out at home or learn to be on their own sometimes. I tried to make up for the time I spent working whenever I had the opportunity. Then we went to the beach.
Fatherhood requires a lot of organisation - I've never seen it as a burden. Raising children is often portrayed as a burden. I don't think it's that difficult if you demand a few basic things early on. For example, that children make their contribution to family life, that they treat other people with respect and learn that this also means taking a back seat from time to time.
I met Romina, who is also a sports photographer, at the Australian Open in 2007. We felt an instant connection. We got married in 2010. I never thought I would become a father again. But when Romina brought up the subject, I thought: why not? Of course I had my doubts, I saw myself as an old geezer limping after my child. I jokingly said: I'm in, but only before 50! Diego was born when I was 49. I try to involve him in things that seem meaningful to me: We work together in the garden, do crafts or can vegetables that he has planted. We had a lot of time together in 2020. Sporting events were cancelled, Romina and I hardly had any work. It's sad that we couldn't travel to New Zealand to meet my children. Am I parenting differently now than I used to? No. Although: I can allow emotions better, I've become softer. In the New Zealand of my childhood, the male image of the tough guy who had no time for sentimentality prevailed. Sure, I've always loved my children. But it's only today that I can say the big three words."
