Mental Load: Our topic for September
Mental load is what keeps you awake at night because you forgot to pack the rucksack for the school trip – while your partner snores comfortably. Mental load is like an invisible family manager in your head who never finishes work and constantly calls out, «You should still...». Mental load is when you know where the vaccination card is hidden and when the next dentist appointment is – and no one else does.
In the dossier «Mental Load», author Julia Meyer-Hermann explores why women in particular suffer from the burden of mental work. What the rushing woman syndrome is all about. How responsibility can be distributed more fairly in everyday life. And what tips can help you catch your breath again.
Our daughter just turned 14. When asked what significance I have for her as a father, Egon Garstick, the forefather of father counselling in Switzerland, says: «Girls need their fathers especially during puberty. Daughters need to see the sparkle in their father's eyes. They need to know that he admires them and supports them in what they do – that he thinks it's cool that she dances or wants to become an engineer.»
For psychotherapists, paternal recognition is an important safeguard that prevents daughters from entering into romantic relationships with men too quickly and uncritically. «It helps them to set better boundaries.» I highly recommend the entire interview to you, dear fathers. And to you, dear mothers, too, of course.
When I was a child, even a pale chest in «Bravo» magazine was enough to get my pulse racing. Later, while collecting waste paper, I found a «Praline» magazine. In the photos in the sex magazine, primary sexual characteristics were retouched and sexual acts were only hinted at. Nevertheless, I treasured the magazine like a treasure. Today, young people can access the hardest pornography with all kinds of sex acts with just a few clicks on their smartphones.
What effect do images of all these contorted bodies, bodily fluids and orifices have on young people? And how can parents find the right approach to the subject? My colleague Samanta Siegfried attended the «Talk about Pornography» workshop for her article «How do I talk to my child about porn?»
If you are now wondering how to start a conversation with your child about pornography, try saying something like: «I am concerned that pornography is giving you the wrong idea about sex and love.» And: «Please be careful. Tell me if you notice anything. Or if you have any questions.»
I hope you find this an informative read.
Yours sincerely,
Nik Niethammer
