Homework? Don't panic!

1. no pressure

Homework is first and foremost a matter between the child and the teacher. However, many parents feel fully responsible for it: out of fear for their children's career opportunities, they consciously or unconsciously exert pressure. This usually leads to resistance on the part of the child and a power struggle ensues. If parents relinquish responsibility and encourage the child to do the Ufzgi on their own, things usually go better. This strengthens the child's self-confidence and teaches them for the future.

Being aware that homework is not the responsibility of the parents helps to keep the child calm.

2. not in the mood? Stay cool

In the event of conflicts, the first thing to do is to calm down, take a deep breath and never shout at the child. Realising that homework is not the parents' responsibility helps to calm the child down. This allows parents to accept the child's reluctance or anger: «So you don't feel like doing the homework at all - why? Is it because there are so many of them?»

Asking questions makes the child feel taken seriously. Perhaps they will then say what the reason for their reluctance is. Or the solution is to postpone the homework until later.

3. not afraid of a reprimand

With the respectful statement «You can do the Ufzgi, then you've done everything, or you don't do it and risk an entry - you decide», the parents transfer responsibility to the child and it learns from the consequences of its decision.

Many parents want to protect their child from a negative experience such as a reprimand. In doing so, however, they deprive them of the experience of the consequences of their decision. You can expect the child to have such an experience. It is important that parents do not moralise in the event of a negative experience and say: «See, I told you so!»

4. take a break

If the homework takes a long time to complete or the child complains that they don't understand it, there can be various reasons for this. Sometimes the child does too much homework because the assignment is not clear to them or they have misunderstood something. It is also often the case that the child is seeking the parents' attention with this behaviour. Alternatively, their experience teaches them that the parents will eventually solve the tasks.

It is helpful to take a short break from time to time.

However, there are also children who are overwhelmed and very discouraged because they are unable to perform as expected. Furthermore, parents often overestimate the child's ability to concentrate. It is helpful to take a short break from time to time.

5. do not help

Parents sometimes help the child to finish faster. But this doesn't teach them to stick with something. Other parents help to make a good impression on the teacher. However, the teacher then doesn't know what the child has understood. It makes more sense to talk to the teacher if problems persist.

Homework is often also a way of dealing with existing tensions.

6. be close, but don't sit next to it

Under no circumstances should parents sit next to the child the whole time. This gives the child the feeling: «I can't do it on my own.» If the child is not yet able to do their homework independently, parents can ask what homework is due and the child can decide what they want to start with. Parents can of course offer help with specific questions. However, the initiative must come from the child. Many children like to do their homework where their mum, dad or siblings are.

7. make a to-do list

If you keep forgetting the Ufzgi, you can ask: What would help you to remember? What don't you feel like doing? Or you can write a to-do list together with your child with the various homework tasks, including break times. Some children are spurred on by being able to tick off the things they have done.

8 Don't lose heart!

Discouraged children need a lot of encouragement; even the smallest effort should be recognised and positively acknowledged. Over time, parents sometimes become discouraged or helpless themselves. The child senses this and becomes even more discouraged. External help with tasks is often useful.

It is also important that parents seek help. Homework is also often a possible way to deal with existing tensions. For example, if there has been a row at school or the child does not feel understood by a teacher or the parents. It is then important that the parents listen to the child and take their feelings seriously.

9. work plan or agreement

It is helpful if there is a certain routine. However, children are different. Some need support, for example a work schedule. Others are independent, so it's enough to ask: «When do you do your homework, before or after playing? You decide.» The agreement should then be honoured.