Highly sensitive - more than just sensitive?

The most important information

• Around 20 per cent of people are highly sensitive, which means that they are more sensitive than others, feel overwhelmed more quickly, need to rest more and lose their composure more quickly. However, high sensitivity is difficult to recognise due to the many different manifestations.
• One way of recognising high sensitivity is increased perception of stimuli, which can relate to hearing or smell, for example. It doesn't take much for the person affected to reach their limits.
• When highly sensitive children are bombarded with too many impressions, they become stressed. A situation that not only affects the child concerned, but also their family. Read short testimonials from parents in the text.
• Highly sensitive people can suffer from headaches and stomach aches, as well as anxiety disorders. Sandra Konrad, Germany's expert on high sensitivity, explains what other consequences can occur.
• Brigitte Küster, head of the Institute for High Sensitivity, says: «High sensitivity is also a gift.» What positive characteristics do highly sensitive people benefit from?
• In the full text, you can benefit from an extensive collection of links on the topic and book tips with further information on the subject of high sensitivity.

You come home after a stressful day and have to lie down for an hour, regardless of what your friends or family say. You think about a casual remark made by a friend for days. An overcrowded bus or commuter train is unbearable for you. And: you quickly start to cry. As a child you were called a «crybaby», you consider yourself a «mimosa».

Does this sound familiar to you? Then you may be one of the 20 per cent of people who are more sensitive than others. More precisely: you are highly sensitive*. It's a term for a phenomenon that first became known 20 years ago and is now flooding the market in the form of advice books and coaching programmes for particularly sensitive people. At last there is an explanation for what some people have always felt, but for which they previously had no name.

* The words «highly sensitive» and «highly sensitive» are often used interchangeably. We will restrict ourselves to the term «highly sensitive» because this translation of the English term «high sensitivity» is favoured in a scientific context.

Highly sensitive: That sounds so positive, so promising, so harmless.

And in certain parental circles, the statement «By the way, my child is highly sensitive» is seen as an honour. They are relieved that their child, who is always very restless, unable to concentrate on tasks and tends to underperform in exams, does not have attention or hyperactivity disorder, but is «only» highly sensitive. Highly sensitive: that sounds so positive, so promising, so harmless.
A misconception. High sensitivity is by no means seen as a desirable trait by many of those affected. High sensitivity is a very specific manifestation of various personality traits, an innate, usually inherited form of behaviour with situational advantages and disadvantages. However, it is not a mental disorder or a physical illness.
How does high sensitivity manifest itself in adults and children, and how can it be recognised? What are the advantages and disadvantages of being highly sensitive? How do you find out if you are highly sensitive? And what strategies are there for parents and children in everyday life? We want to explore these questions in this dossier.

Matteo doesn't play - because the alarm clock is ringing

The most difficult thing first: high sensitivity is a phenomenon that can be defined - but is still difficult to recognise. Precisely because there are so many different forms of it, it is difficult to recognise.
An example: Levi turns seven and has a big party. Lots of friends come round, they are already jumping in the door, wanting to eat cake and play. The mood is cheerful. Presents are unwrapped and loads of sweets are eaten. There is only one child who doesn't take part in any games and doesn't stuff any Smarties into his mouth: Matteo. He stays at the table and watches. Suddenly he says to his mum, who has come along: «There's something up there, Mum.» His mum listens. She hears a very, very quiet «beep-beep-beep-beep» through the noise. It's an alarm clock. Matteo is the only one who has heard the sound of an alarm clock ringing in a room far away.

The increased perception of stimuli

Perceiving what others cannot: this is typical of highly sensitive people, whether children or adults. These can be very different things. Sounds, for example: the rustling of a napkin in a restaurant, the soft scratching of a pencil tip, the squeaking of a shoe sole when walking. Or odours: many highly sensitive people have a very sensitive nose and can smell the day-old water in a vase of flowers. Others can't stand scratchy clothing labels or never wear socks. Still others find crowds of people an abomination: on a crowded train, at a concert, at a disco. New places, hotels, school trips: torture.

A highly sensitive person distinguishes stimuli in ten variants, a less sensitive person perceives about five or perhaps only two variants.

Elaine Aron, US-American psychologist.

This all has to do with the heightened perception of stimuli that highly sensitive people have. «A highly sensitive person distinguishes stimuli in ten variants, whereas a less sensitive person perceives around five or perhaps only two variants,» says US psychologist Elaine Aron. Highly sensitive people perceive not only external but also internal stimuli more intensively and process them more deeply and for longer periods of time.
Elaine Aron created the term «sensory-processing sensitivity» (SPS, simplistically translated as «high sensitivity»). In 1997, she and her husband Arthur Aron published their first empirical studies on the subject in the prestigious US journal «Journal of Personality and Social Psychology». They conceptualised high sensitivity as an independent construct, a personality trait that is more pronounced in certain people than others and has a significant impact on their everyday lives.

Intense feelings and high empathy?

Highly sensitive people invest part of their capacities in things that are initially imperceptible to others. This happens automatically and is a peculiarity that their brain performs entirely without the help of the conscious mind. Depth of processing is responsible for this. This depth is also the reason why little external input is required to reach a point at which the comfort zone is exceeded and the often-cited stress threshold is reached.
This depth of processing is a very decisive characteristic. It is also the characteristic that is most difficult to convey to outsiders. In practical terms, it means that highly sensitive people think about an experience or realisation for a particularly long time and adapt it to their «cognitive map», their mental representation of their own environment, in order to be able to foresee the consequences of a future action.
In-depth information processing also enables intense feelings and a high level of empathy for others. Highly sensitive people are generally more aroused or overexcited. Whether positive or negative, highly sensitive people experience both much more intensely than normally sensitive people. The second characteristic is behavioural inhibition. This can be seen, among other things, in the fact that highly sensitive people like to wait and observe in new situations before they become active and, for example, join someone at a table.
Or they withdraw if something could be threatening or even harmful. According to Aron, this is due to evolutionary biology. This «quiet vigilance» is nothing more than a survival strategy, as we know it from the animal world.

The third characteristic is sensory sensitivity. Highly sensitive people have a higher activation sensitivity of the nervous system, i.e. a lower threshold at which a physiological reaction is triggered, regardless of whether it is too bright a light or disharmony in relationships: Even if you weren't involved in a situation at all, just a witness, it's as if you were right in the middle of it.
Highly sensitive people have no walls, no boundaries. The world penetrates them. For some highly sensitive people, for example, the classroom contains a flood of stimuli that is difficult to bear. Sounds, smells, moods and touch create a cocktail that these children have to digest once they have left the room. One phenomenon, three characteristics - and the problem that these stresses are not visible from the outside. High sensitivity does not show itself on the surface.

Impaired quality of life due to high sensitivity?

«Nobody understands what's going on with Noé,» says his mum. Noé is twelve years old and highly sensitive. He is unable to focus his attention on one particular thing. He can only do his homework if his mum reads each individual task to him, explains it and helps him. The pressure of having to write passable grades weighs heavily on him. Following educational instructions, being ready to leave at a certain time, studying for exams: all of this is only possible because she thinks for Noé, explains his mother, who only found out about her own high sensitivity after her son had been assessed.
Noé's mother says: «This trait is an incredible burden on the family». Because it is not a clearly visible flaw, Noé's trait is not taken seriously by many people. Some say: «He should pull himself together.» A statement that hurts Noé's mum. It is very difficult for parents to find explanations for the «strange» characteristics of their highly sensitive children, so many mums and dads blame themselves and their parenting.

It is not you who is to blame for the difficulties, but a particular personality trait.

When you finally find out that your child is probably highly sensitive, you breathe a sigh of relief. «Realising this is relieving because you finally know what's going on,» explains Brigitte Küster, author and director of the Institute for High Sensitivity. It also becomes clear that it is not you and your own actions that are to blame for the difficulties, but a particular personality trait.
However, this relief is only the beginning of a path that involves shaping life for yourself or with your child in such a way that they can feel right, realise their potential and feel valuable. «This path is not easy, especially in a fast-paced, loud and performance-oriented society that is generally shaped by people who don't have this predisposition,» says Brigitte Küster, who is highly sensitive herself and the mother of two highly sensitive children.

What do those affected have to contend with?

This peculiarity of high sensitivity, the special way of perceiving and processing information, leads to various negative side effects that those affected sometimes have to struggle with. Because hardly anything that highly sensitive people observe, feel and perceive simply bounces off them, they want to process, think through and understand it. The amount of information means that these children need a lot of time to process events.
If a highly sensitive child is exposed to too many impressions, this can lead to sensory overload and affected children feel exhausted, stressed, want to shield themselves from the outside world or become irritable. Contrary to their otherwise calm nature, they then begin to whinge, scream, cry or become aggressive.

Highly sensitive is not the same as ADD or ADHD.

In addition to the lack of concentration mentioned above, this behaviour has parallels with attention deficit disorder (ADD) and/or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). However, a child affected by ADD / ADHD can find it difficult or almost impossible to concentrate even in a peaceful environment, even if they really want to. In contrast, a highly sensitive child can concentrate exceptionally well under optimal conditions.
Many highly sensitive children suffer in silence. If nothing works out the way they want it to or believe it is expected of them, they react insecurely, overstimulated and overwhelmed. «Then your stomach starts to flutter, you feel sick or you can no longer think clearly. It's like a blur inside, you feel like you're in a fog,» says Brigitte Küster, describing the emotional state.

Doubts about self-worth and gloomy thoughts

Sleep problems, headaches and stomach aches can be added to this, sometimes also anxiety disorders; doubts about the self, depressive moods, the deep desire to be different. «The higher sensitivity is also accompanied by a greater susceptibility to psychological suffering,» says psychologist Sandra Konrad from Helmut Schmidt University in Hamburg and Germany's expert on high sensitivity. It can be helpful here if parents seek support from psychologists, therapists, paediatricians or remedial teachers who are familiar with the topic of high sensitivity.

It is mainly those highly sensitive people who grew up under stressful conditions as children who develop psychological problems. The Swiss developmental psychologist and international specialist in high sensitivity, Michael Plüss, has therefore created the term «orchid children». «Children who grow up in a caring, supportive and helpful parental environment are like orchids: In difficult, unfavourable conditions, they quickly perish, but with the right care, they develop into beautiful, magnificent flowers.»

Is high sensitivity on the decline again?

The same characteristics that make children disproportionately vulnerable to negative experiences also allow them to benefit disproportionately from positive experiences, says Michael Plüss. A meta-analysis by Utrecht University has confirmed this. The researchers found several pieces of evidence that although orchid children suffer disproportionately from the negative effects of harsh parental behaviour, they also benefit disproportionately from parental care.

High sensitivity does not diminish or weaken over the years. However, experts agree that parents who often praise highly sensitive children and encourage them to test out whether their fears are justified have a positive influence. Elaine Aron puts it this way: «Over time, the child's idea of the world will no longer be as frightening as his nervous system conveyed to him in earlier years. His creative traits and intuitive abilities will unfold and the difficult aspects may fade somewhat, provided the right strategies for dealing with them have been found.»

High sensitivity is a gift.

Brigitte Küster, Head of the Institute for High Sensitivity.

Highly sensitive people have a variety of talents and strengths that are not initially associated with this term. Empathy and compassion are just two of the many criteria that characterise highly sensitive people. «Highly sensitive people have a very keen sense of interpersonal tensions, analyse themselves and others very precisely and deeply and are highly valued for their empathy and compassion,» explains Brigitte Küster, for example. High sensitivity is also a gift: «A treasure of great meaningfulness and depth, if you can uncover it."
Highly sensitive people are also highly conscientious, quick to recognise subtle differences and have a pronounced creative streak. In other societies and cultures, such as Japan or Sweden, these characteristics are highly valued, says Elaine Aron, the US high sensitivity expert. "As assertiveness and strength are favoured in our culture, the personality trait of high sensitivity is seen as something that is difficult to live with or that needs to be cured.»
What's more, high sensitivity has different facets, or blindnesses, as the jargon goes. There is no single highly sensitive characteristic; rather, high sensitivity manifests itself in an accumulation of certain criteria that can vary greatly from person to person, both in terms of quality and quantity.

How can peace be made with this peculiarity?

«In addition to the shy, introverted highly sensitive people - who make up around 70 per cent - there are also extroverted, i.e. outward-facing highly sensitive people,» explains Brigitte Küster. The latter in particular, who make up a minority of around 30 per cent of highly sensitive people, are even more difficult to recognise than introverts. «They are people who like to exert themselves, constantly overexert themselves, but are quickly exhausted,» says Brigitte Küster. However: «Being highly sensitive doesn't mean being complicated. The only important thing is to find a balance between losing and gaining energy.»

It is normal to be different.

Richard von Weizsäcker, former German Federal President.

After all, being highly sensitive means nothing more than being different. «There is no standard for being human,» said former German President Richard von Weizsäcker. «It is normal to be different.» There is still a lack of broad awareness of this very specific difference. Even specialists - doctors, psychologists and educationalists - often lack in-depth knowledge of this complex phenomenon. Some experts even reject the diagnosis itself.

To make matters worse, the diagnosis is anything but simple and the study situation is not yet very good. Texts that deal with the phenomenon often raise more questions than they answer. Nevertheless, a lot is now known about the connections and effects of high sensitivity, and there are already approaches to a guide for dealing with high sensitivity. This is important so that those affected no longer have to ask themselves what is wrong with them - but can instead look at how they can better utilise their special abilities.

Are high sensitivity and giftedness related?

The impression that highly sensitive people are also always highly gifted, i.e. have above-average intelligence (IQ greater than 130), cannot be substantiated. The number of overlaps is likely to be very small, writes the Informations- und Forschungsverbund Hochsensibilität e. V. on its website.
Nevertheless, some experts, including Frankfurt psychologist Andrea Brackmann, argue that high sensitivity is a special form of giftedness. In her book «Jenseits der Norm - hochbegabt und hochsensibel?» (2005), Brackmann describes the two characteristics in almost identical terms; both groups of people feel «different» and both characteristics are largely inherited.
The difference lies in how they deal with information. Highly sensitive people do not grasp and interpret information in a factual way, but rather in its multifaceted meaning, whereas highly gifted people are more cognitively and objectively-analytically orientated. According to Elaine Aron, however, highly sensitive people are often particularly gifted in the artistic, artistic or interpersonal areas.
(Source: Spektrum.de)

High sensitivity - just a construct?

The American psychologist Elaine Aron defines high sensitivity as a fundamental personality trait that is genetically determined. This statement is not scientifically uncontroversial. «High sensitivity is old wine in new bottles,» says Zurich professor of personality psychology and diagnostics, Willibald Ruch, about Aron's definition of high sensitivity. Ruch considers high sensitivity to be a manifestation of neuroticism.
Neuroticism is a dimension of the «Big Five», five characteristics that, according to a widespread and well-studied model, capture the essential character traits of human beings. People with higher neuroticism scores are often labelled as less emotionally stable, tend to be more anxious, nervous and insecure and are less able to cope with stress than others.
Another important point of criticism relates to the content criteria of Elaine Aron's high sensitivity test. While Aron assumes that her questionnaire measures a self-contained trait, fellow researchers criticise the fact that the questions cover experiences in very different areas of life and measure different types of sensitivity.
In a study, US temperament researcher Mary Rothbart comes to the conclusion that Aron's test measures two separate characteristics: on the one hand, «negative affect», i.e. the general tendency towards feelings such as fear, anger or sadness; on the other hand, the dimension of «aesthetic sensitivity», i.e. the receptiveness or sensitivity to new impressions, such as being particularly moved by a film.