Growing up with grandparents
When Siriwan closes her eyes, the memories come flooding back. Not like in a feature film, more like a slide show: rainy season, beautiful country, green hell, tin huts, belongings, a new school again, being alone, dad, familiar and unfamiliar faces.
The 16-year-old spent the first eight years of her life in north-east Thailand. Initially with her Thai mother and her Swiss father, but very soon she was on her own. At least that's how it felt for the girl from time to time. Siriwan's dad got custody of her after her parents separated, but he wasn't like other fathers.
The background
Ines and Edi now know why their only son abandoned his apprenticeship and had the idea of emigrating to Thailand at the age of 18. They now also understand better why he rushed to get married there, why he kept developing new, adventurous business ideas and why he was unable to budget with the money they regularly sent him.
Siriwan's father was and is not weak in character, but mentally ill. Recently, the condition has also been given a name: Schizophrenia. In acute phases of the illness, the now 36-year-old loses touch with reality, feels persecuted and burns all bridges behind him. Or he takes to the bottle.
Back then, in Thailand, when the young man was desperately trying to get his life under control and be a good father to his child, he must have realised how hopeless his situation was. Ines and Edi flew to Asia as often as possible. Time only for Siriwan, regular meals, bedtime stories in Züridüütsch. When the time came to say goodbye, a world collapsed for the child. She was allowed to fly to Zurich on her own twice and stay with her grandparents for three months each time. Although Siriwan missed her dad, she felt safe with them.
The change
Towards the end of the second stay, the child hoped for a miracle. The miracle came, but depending on your perspective, it was also a disaster. Siriwan's father called Switzerland a few days before the planned return flight. He seemed unstable. When he asked his parents not to put his daughter back on the plane, the former kindergarten teacher and the former electrician didn't hesitate. That very night, they decided to officially apply for guardianship of their granddaughter. At first Siriwan was simply relieved, the sadness only came later.
The girl started school in Zurich, settled down and now had a real home. Initially, she skyped with her father very often, but over time she withdrew more and more. The years in Thailand, being alone, her father's alcoholic excesses, his aggression - all of this had left its mark on Siriwan's soul. The young woman with the expressive eyes is still in therapy. The older she gets, the better she understands what happened back then. But many of her questions remain unanswered.
Grandparents in the role of parents
She has no contact with her mother, and she can count the number of times she has seen her father since then on one hand. He has just returned to Switzerland and is being treated as an inpatient in a psychiatric ward. It's his old pattern: when he has a serious crisis, he comes home. As soon as he feels a little better, he flees to Asia. Ines and Edi Schmid visit their son regularly. He asks after his daughter. The two senior citizens then have to explain why Siriwan hasn't come with them. He usually understands.
When you see how lovingly the three of them treat each other, how naturally they talk about the past, the present and the future, you get the feeling that this story has taken a turn for the better. The grandparents have not only accepted the role of parents, but - despite their age - have completely fulfilled it. When Siriwan wanted to learn to skate, Ines and Edi naturally took her out on the ice. And when it's parents' evening at the cantonal school, the two of them sit among the other parents. The grandparents know that Siriwan loves to play the piano, how alert her mind is and how big her heart is, and that she doesn't particularly like talking about her story.
Provision for the future
Although the teenager keeps the foster parents young, they all realise that the tide could turn. But Ines and Edi have made provisions. If they are no longer able to be there for their granddaughter, Ines' brother and his family will take over. Siriwan agrees to this option, because she knows that this would not be an emergency solution.
