«Distance does not mean an end»
Renato: «On the one hand, I was always an open person who got on well with everyone, but on the other hand I was reserved: If something was bothering me and I thought that others wouldn't understand it straight away, I preferred to keep quiet. At some point, this trait became extreme.»
Tamara: «That was in the sixth form. When you were asked what was going on, you said: «Nothing.» But there were problems.»
Renato: «Until sixth form, I was the most self-confident person: I got top marks and never had to study. Then things went downhill.»
Tamara: «You didn't know how to learn.»
Renato: «That's right. Nobody knew about my ADHD back then.»
Tamara: «We didn't know how we could help you. Practising together was frustrating for everyone involved.»
Renato: «I started to conceal exams, only showed you the good grades, forged your signatures.»
I would do a lot of things differently today. We acted out of desperation because I couldn't get to you.
Tamara
Tamara: «And your new colleagues - I knew they were smoking weed and asked myself: what else are they using?»
Renato: "Nothing. We hung out in the village. They were allowed to do that all night, I had to go home at eleven. It was the same with the mobile phone: I was the only one with hardly any screen time and the parental control lock on. I felt crushed."
Tamara: «I would do a lot of things differently today. We acted out of desperation because I couldn't get to you.»
Renato: «But when I told them something, they said: That's because you gamble too much , learn too little and so on.»
Tamara: «I didn't know any better.»
Renato: «Of course - we're all living for the first time. This strictness didn't help. I'd just come home at eleven and sneak out of the window afterwards. When I was 15, I visited my father in Zurich more and more often. When I went out, I made friends with people who took pills, coke, all sorts of things. I let my hair down.»
At some point, everything got out of hand. I was beside myself, caught in a web of lies.
Renato
Tamara: «How I freaked out when I came across ecstasy pills in your room! But in the end, it was the little things that tipped the scales.»
Renato: «There was this huge argument and I decided to move in with my father in Zurich. I finished school there and started an apprenticeship as a chef. I told my father and his wife at the weekend that I was bunking with colleagues. Then I was out all night using drugs.»
Tamara: «I wrote to you every week, trying to keep up somehow.»
Renato: «At some point, everything got out of hand. I was beside myself, trapped in a web of lies. I couldn't take any more and had myself admitted to a psychiatric ward. My head finally came to rest. I was able to think and get back on my feet. Also thanks to my ex-girlfriend.»
Tamara: «You started visiting us again with her.»
Renato: «She made it easier for me to get closer. That's how you and I gradually found each other again. I found my current apprenticeship and rediscovered my passion for cooking. Today, I enjoy going to work every day.»
Tamara: «I'm grateful that it turned out like this - that we're back on good terms and that you have your life under control.»
Renato: «And our history shows that distance doesn't mean an end.»
* Names changed by the editors
