Back to school: Exciting days

A Monday morning in August. The child hasn't slept much and you, dear parents, probably haven't slept much more either. Now you are sitting at the breakfast table, your first-grader is fidgeting on the chair. You yourself feel an inner excitement, a tingling sensation like before a big exam or a top sporting performance.

This day, this morning, this lesson is a special moment. Your child is starting first grade. For you, dear parents, this day is significant. On this day, we realise that we have to let go of our children a little bit more.

The first day of school means even more absences (of the child), even more structures, even more organisation. That's why your daughter's or son's first day at school is probably more important for you than for your child - after all, they've already done brilliantly at nursery, playgroup and kindergarten. And you have already let go, several times in fact.

Rest assured, dear parents: most children enjoy going to school.

According to Curriculum 21, kindergarten is part of the 1st cycle together with the first two regular classes. This means that kindergarten is already part of primary school (and is therefore no longer referred to as «starting school» in relation to the first class).

In these two years, learning is primarily development-orientated. Learning through observation and imitation as well as demonstrating and copying (so-called model learning) play a central role in the 1st cycle.

Learning through play is still very formative, even if the child receives more and more assignments and has to complete them within a certain period of time. In the first cycle of Curriculum 21, the three competences of knowledge, ability and willingness are decisive.

This means that students should be able and willing to apply what they learn. It is not enough to know something, they must also be able to do something with it.

Deepen competences

What does this mean for your child? New learning content and new subjects await the boys and girls in the first class. The approach is similar to that in kindergarten - mostly through practice and exploration.

The number of weekly lessons (24 lessons according to the curriculum) remains unchanged, but varies from canton to canton. The biggest change, however, will be the environment: The child will go to the large school building where the neighbouring children or siblings also go and where there are usually many children - and he or she is one of the youngest.

You go home without your child, leaving a piece of your identity behind.

Your child will spend many hours a week there, make new friends and get to know many new adult carers. In the morning, your child will set off with the neighbouring children, schoolbag on their back; they will return home during the course of the day.

Today, on this very first morning in the first class, it will also be going home alone. But now she walks by your hand to school, where she is welcomed by the older children and the head teacher with a song, a short speech and a small ceremony.

And then you go home without your child, leaving a piece of your identity there, in this living space in which your child will now spend at least nine more years. For the child, it is a continuation of what they have learnt so far; for you, it is a new phase of life, which will be mixed with joy, but also melancholy or worry.

How will my child cope with the coming years, with the uphill climb at school, with the new phase of life that will shape their future? These are questions that all parents ask themselves, at the latest on this morning when the child ventures a little further out into the big world.

Transition phase from small child to schoolchild

As parents, you can do a lot to ensure that the time before and after the first day is as relaxed and calm as possible. The kindergarten teacher will talk about the school day - many weeks before «day one». She will teach the children important skills in accordance with the curriculum and visit the school premises, the new classroom and the new class teacher with them on so-called «wave days».

If you wish, you can gently discuss the first day of school with your child by awakening their anticipation. After all, you may have noticed that your 6- or 7-year-old child has been a little different in the last few weeks or months of kindergarten: a little bored, the days seemed as tough as chewing gum.

Perhaps the child was rather insecure, restless or unsteady? Perhaps - from your point of view - more cheeky than usual, more independent, insisting on its independence? It may have grown physically, become lankier, shed its toddler-like appearance and lost its first baby tooth. It is the time of transition from small child to schoolchild. It's quite possible that his soul is also shaking a little.

Don't make your own insecurity an issue

Your child may ask you of their own accord what school will be like, whether they will be in the class with their current friends, what the teacher will be like - and much more. If this is your child's first year at school, you may be unsure yourself. Try not to make an issue of this uncertainty or externalise it, as the child is still very attached to you and can sense your concerns very clearly.

Also try to keep the excitement of grandparents, aunts or neighbours at bay - because they will ask persistently and repeatedly at least six months before the big day: «Are you looking forward to school?» A question that is difficult for the child to answer, as they can't yet know exactly what school is.

Give the child enough time for the new rhythm

It happens that a child doesn't like going to school. However, the reason is more uncertainty than reluctance - the child doesn't know what to expect. Insecure or naturally sceptical children in particular need a certain amount of time to get used to the new rhythm and the new environment.

Rest assured: The vast majority of children enjoy going to school. After two years of kindergarten, many children are longing for a new stage in their lives. For some, it's as if a funnel has opened over their head and no one is coming to fill it with knowledge.

Take your child's needs seriously and show an interest in their experiences.

When will they finally learn to read and write? And so the little first-graders are mighty proud of their school bookcase with books, pencil cases and, of course, homework.

For the first-grader, «Ufzgi» are the insignia of the world of the «big ones», and they are finally part of it! The transition to a new life as a first-grader has its price. Just like starting kindergarten, life in the first few months is stressful for children.

Enough sleep and recovery breaks

Getting used to the new, colourful and noisy environment, the many other unknown children, the new teachers and their demands is a major adjustment. This is why many children are often tired and need to get enough sleep and rest.

The more you are able to engage with your child, take their needs seriously and show interest in their experiences, the more relaxed this time will be. You yourself will be sufficiently challenged in other ways: Having a child at school means more work and requires a lot of organisation and administration. A lot of paperwork has to be read and signed, many activities noted in the calendar and organised, not including hobbies.

You should try to take your time when your child comes home - tired, full of impressions and perhaps a little hyper. If they still have homework to do, they may want to do it in a cosy atmosphere at your kitchen table or desk. Allow this, as many children at this age do not like to be alone, secluded in their room at a desk specially purchased for homework.

Let your intuition prevail

If you, dear mum or dad, already have older or even younger children, such situations will be a new challenge. One child has to do homework, the younger sibling is crying and hungry or the older brother has to go to football training - it takes time for all family members to find their rhythm in the new daily routine and for all activities to settle in.

A good start goes a long way. If difficulties arise during the course of school - be it with homework or certain subjects that your son or daughter doesn't like so much - or conflicts with other children arise, it is important that you get help.

Perhaps you can talk to other parents or friends and then seek a direct dialogue with the school, preferably with your child's teacher. They will support you and endeavour to offer your child the best possible learning situation.

Your attitude as parents is also crucial. «When children enter a new situation, they look for guidance,» says psychologist Fabian Grolimund. The statements that parents make about the school influence the child's perception and expectations.

Anyone who talks negatively about school is not doing their child any favours

Perhaps you would like to try a little experiment: read through the following statements and listen to yourself. What resonates with you?

Anyone who recounts their own school experiences or makes negative comments about school in front of their child is not doing them any favours. Because if you look for faults in the education system, you will find many.

«The question is, does this help the child to feel comfortable,» says Fabian Grolimund. «Can a child be successful in a system that the parents disapprove of or criticise? Can a child appreciate a teacher that parents don't like?» (You can also read Fabian Grolimund's article: School - our enemy?)

You can help your child get off to a great start by not discussing your concerns about the timetable, school or individual teachers in front of your child. Keep these topics to yourself or only talk about them when your child is in bed at night.

Positive thoughts for the start of school

Tell yourself: The first day of school has a lot to do with letting go. Your child has done this before - and was much younger back then. Your child has found their way around the daycare centre, playgroup and kindergarten, got to know and love their groups, built up trust in the teachers and made lots of friends.

It will make it again, no question about it! Because there is a much greater chance that your child ...

• ...will have a wonderful, warm and caring teacher.
• ... comes to a school where the children are valued for who they are and are met where they are - with all their strengths and weaknesses.
• ... can make friends for life.
• ... learns to read and write in record time.
• ... will be strong where you had your own weaknesses.
• ... will get on better with difficult conspecifics than you ever could.
• ... finds a good way of dealing with conflicts.
• ... learns to stand up for his needs.

So you, dear parents, can be confident that the school only wants the best for your child and that the school can be a positive place where your child and you will have many wonderful experiences. And so many things are possible in this new phase of life, in which we fully engage with and accompany the child.

Are you parents ready for school?

Perhaps you are pulling out a handkerchief as you read this text. Or as you make your way to your child's school on this Monday morning, your soul a little shaky, his sweaty little hand in your big one. And perhaps you will then quietly ask yourself which of you is really ready for school. You are not alone with these feelings.

Other parents also do their best every day. Sometimes we are a little emotional because our children are growing up faster than we would like. Or when we are confused, because raising children in times of too many educational concepts can sometimes be so confusing.

Sometimes we muddle through, drink too much coffee and go to work with nerves on edge or to parent-teacher conferences with stained clothes. But we don't want to moan. Because we love our life with our children, who amaze us every day with storms, roaring waves and other surprises.

We wish you and your child a wonderful first day of school in August and a wonderful, colourful and above all relaxed adventure back to school.