5 tips against school frustration
If a child doesn't feel like going to school, that's completely normal and nothing to worry about," says Anja Meier, who works at the Pro Juventute advice centre, a contact point for parents, children and young people. Especially when starting school or transferring to a new school level, it sometimes takes time for a child to really settle in.
Instead of leaving children at home when they have their first stomach ache or accompanying first-graders to the classroom, experts advise encouraging them to go to school - without minimising any potential fears. «It's important to find a relaxed moment to ask the child why they're not feeling well and offer help,» says Meier. It is also important to get in touch with the teacher as early as possible if parents notice that a child frequently doesn't feel like going to school or is afraid to do so.
Matthias Obrist, Head of the School Psychological Service of the City of Zurich, explains how parents can react when typical situations relating to truancy arise.
1. the child says it has a stomach ache or headache
«It depends on the extent of the pain and how the child and the family otherwise deal with such complaints. Since when does what hurt and how badly? Which home remedies help? How does the child feel the pain? If the pain is mild and diffuse, it is generally possible and reasonable for the child to attend school. If there is a special lesson coming up, for example in the form of an important exam or a special PE lesson, the child should be asked and the teacher informed.»
The rule of thumb: no more electronic media one hour before going to sleep.
2. the child does not get out of bed in the morning, for example because it has been sleeping too long
«The child can also go to school tired. If the child stays at home, they are not allowed to play games or otherwise have an attractive programme. They have to catch up on what they have missed at school. Parents should always pay attention to sleep hygiene. The rule of thumb: no more electronic media one hour before going to sleep.»
3. the child skips class
«Truancy can happen and is no cause for concern. The important thing is to ask about it and show that it must not happen again and will have consequences. This can be as simple as contacting the teacher. You should not be too tolerant of truancy because otherwise the child will learn that school is not particularly important and that commitments do not have to be honoured. However, if the child is troubled at school, seems stressed or sad or has another good reason for not going to school, a direct discussion with the school is needed. If necessary, specialists from school social work or the school psychology service can be called in.»
4. the child does not manage to leave the house or go to school in the morning
«In this case, it's important to find out the reason for this behaviour. Is it to do with school or with home? Can the child not go to school for fear of school or other children or teachers? Or is there a particular reason why they can't leave home? Even if younger children in particular are often unable to say this and older children don't want to say it, parents can take action and, for example, ensure that they are accompanied to school, have a school godparent or a fear-free school environment.»
If children no longer dare to leave their room, they need professional help.
5. the child no longer comes out of the room
«If a child locks themselves in, parents should always knock on the door and say that they are there and are happy to listen and find out what's going on. You can also put something to eat in front of the door or slip a note under the door with a positive message. Children with an anxiety disorder who no longer dare to leave their room or are unable to leave the house for any other reason need professional help.»
