Why is my child dreaming so intensely?

The soldiers come every Wednesday. They take one person prisoner after another. Only Sophia is forgotten. She is left alone in the world. The soldiers are punished for this offence. Sophia takes out her scissors and cuts them funny hairstyles. Without pardon. She also gives them a proper beard trim.

Sophia dreamt this Wednesday series when she was five years old. She is now twelve and tells the soldier's dream so vividly that listeners can almost smell the beard oil. Dreaming is Sophia's passion. She lies down in the evening, makes up a story and dreams it out while she sleeps. Sometimes she forgets what she is dreaming or only remembers parts of it. And she often invents "a little something in addition to what she remembers so that the dream is understood".

Where does a dream begin?

So Sophia thinks, dreams, remembers, forgets and invents. This raises questions that have preoccupied people for thousands of years. What is a dream? Where does it begin, where does it end? And what does it mean? Especially when the dream comes in the form of a horror, knowledge about dreams becomes urgent. Not all of them have the lightness that the poet Georg Heym had in mind: «When the evenings fall and we fall asleep, the dreams, the beautiful ones, enter with light feet.»

According to studies, more than two thirds of children's dreams are accompanied by happy or neutral feelings. Nevertheless, dreams can be so frightening that not only the dreaming children but also their parents become anxious and ask themselves: Is my child ill? How do I react to the dream? Who can help?

The essentials remain invisible

In Slumberland, Michael Ende writes, the little dream eater helps. The spiky little fellow with glittering starry eyes frees people from bad dreams so that they can regain a friendly disposition and a clear head. In ancient times, it was prophets and priests who sought hidden prophecies and predictions of the future in dreams.

Since the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud published his famous work "The Interpretation of Dreams" in 1900 at the latest, dreams and their interpretation have attracted increasing interest, not only in esoteric circles but also in science.

The human brain and the nocturnal activities that take place in it are being researched from all sides. The findings compiled provide an increasingly differentiated picture of the nature of dreams.

And yet: the essential remains withheld from the researchers - the dream itself. It is only accessible to the dreamer.

What distinguishes a night-time dream from a daydream?

Michael Schredl, head of the sleep laboratory at the Central Institute of Mental Health in Mannheim, defines nocturnal dreams as «subjective experiences during sleep». He distinguishes it from daydreams: «The dream experience is comparable, but physiologically, areas of the brain are active differently and are connected to each other to different degrees.»

When daydreaming, the dreamer is awake. They usually know that they are daydreaming. However, at the latest when the teacher calls them by name, for example, they are present to external stimuli. During sleep, we shield ourselves from external stimuli. «However, the transitions are fluid,» says Michael Schredl.

He has been researching dreams for over 30 years. He cites the lack of access to the dream as the biggest hurdle: «We are dependent on the dream report. This presupposes that the dreamer remembers the dream after waking up.»

The brain does not have an on/off button.

Michael Schredl has been researching dreams for over 30 years.

And this memory - as many people know - is not easy. There may still be a vague idea after waking up, but it fades the next moment. «I wasn't dreaming anything,» they say.

Michael Schredl is sceptical: "There is no reason why the brain should stop producing a subjective world of experience. The brain does not have an on/off button." When people are woken from REM sleep, they almost always remember dreams. When woken from the other sleep phases, only 50 to 60 per cent of dreams are remembered, «but it takes longer to wake up,» says Schredl.

Where does the dream live?

The sleep phases therefore have an influence on dream experiences and memories. Sleep physician Johannes Mathis talks about the «sleep architecture» - the house of dreams, so to speak. He is co-director of the Sleep-Wakefulness-Epilepsy Centre (SWEZ) at the Inselspital in Bern. Here he investigates sleep disorders of all kinds. Depending on the disorder, different phases of sleep are affected.

Dreams from the REM phase are perceived as more emotionally intense, colourful and vivid.

Johannes Mathis, sleep physician

Using a hypnogram, he describes the typical sleep cycle. This begins with a waking phase, after around five minutes good sleepers descend the sleep staircase into superficial sleep (non-REM 1 and 2), then further down into deep sleep (non-REM 3 and 4), from there back up into superficial sleep, before REM sleep sets in after around 90 minutes. This cycle is repeated four to five times a night, with REM sleep getting longer and longer and deep sleep getting shorter and shorter.

«Dreams from the REM phase are perceived as more emotionally intense, colourful and vivid,» says Johannes Mathis. «The dreamer is usually an actor themselves, fighting, screaming and interacting. Emotionally intense experiences are easier to remember.»

Non-REM dreams are less remembered. Here, the dreamer is more of a spectator than an actor. They observe the events from a certain distance, «as if they were sitting in a cinema».

A look into the sleep lab

The lab technician who sits in the control centre of the sleep-wake centre and monitors the patients' sleep night after night must also feel like she is in a cinema. This is where people snore, sleepwalk, chat, cry, scream or simply wake up.

The children's bedroom is larger than the other three rooms, as there is usually a parent present. With its beds and curtains in front of the windows, it looks like a normal bedroom. Only two small spies on the ceiling and countless electrodes are reminiscent of a laboratory.

Anyone who is examined here enters in the evening, receives all the important information and is wired up before the lights are switched off - in the case of children at around 9 pm. The two cameras tell the lab technician what the child is saying and doing. She only enters the room if something is wrong.

From the recordings of brain waves, breathing and muscle and eye movements, Johannes Mathis is able to identify abnormalities the next day. Two of these are often mistaken for nightmares.

Night terrors: When the child cries and sleepwalks

One of these abnormalities is pavor nocturnus - also known as night terrors or night terrors, reports Mathis: «The child screams terribly. Mothers have no chance of calming it down.» In contrast to nightmares, night terrors occur during deep sleep - «which doesn't mean that they can't be triggered by a dream. The child simply no longer remembers it.»

The trigger for sleepwalking and night terrors is a wake-up stimulus from a particularly deep sleep.

Johannes Mathis, sleep physician

The same applies to sleepwalking - the continuation of night terrors, so to speak. 20 to 30 per cent of all children sleepwalk regularly. Sleepwalkers are difficult to wake up and sometimes do strange things. «Many have accidents because they fall down the stairs or out of the window,» says Johannes Mathis. «There is no such thing as sleepwalking safety.» Parents can protect their child by talking to them gently but firmly, taking them by the hand and leading them back to bed. However, they should neither wake them up nor contradict them. «Otherwise,» says Mathis, «it can become aggressive.»

Preventing the phenomena described is difficult, but not impossible. The trigger for sleepwalking and night terrors is a wake-up stimulus from a particularly deep sleep. The most common reason for very deep sleep is a lack of sleep the previous night. It can help if children maintain their individual sleep duration each night.

Half an hour's sleep before dinner also helps to reduce sleep pressure. And finally, it is important to minimise wake-up stimuli such as any kind of noise in the room, a full bladder or an excessively rich evening meal. It is more difficult with the psychological factors: worries wake you up. Genetic factors or fever cannot be influenced - both favour sleepwalking. In the event that children need therapy, Johannes Mathis works closely with psychiatrists and psychologists. Especially when the dream content itself becomes a burden, he refers the child to his specialist colleagues: This is where the neurologist reaches his limits.

What do children dream about?

Previous research into children's dreams has shown that what children dream depends not only on their individual world of experience but also on their gender and stage of development. The greater the possibility of verbal expression, the longer and more differentiated the dream reports. Michael Schredl assumes that everyday experiences influence dreams.

Younger children dream more often than older children about animals, people they love and fantasy figures.

This also includes films, as in the case of eight-year-old Lilou. In her dream, she wants to save her friend from a fire. The first Yakari film comes to mind: «Yakari was stuck in a forest fire. Then little Donner came, jumped over the fire and rescued him.»

Studies show that younger children dream more often than older children about animals, people they love and imaginary creatures. All of this is part of their everyday experience. In adolescents, however, interactions and peers take centre stage, as in the case of eleven-year-old Luis, who goes ice skating with his colleagues in his dream. This is his hobby. According to studies, boys dream about hobbies more often than girls.

Luis is leafing through a booklet in which he has recorded dreams from the past few nights. His mum points to a page. «Do you want to tell this one?» she asks. Luis shakes his head. Talking about dreams is not always easy. For children to reveal something as intimate as a dream, they need adults to reassure them that it is normal to dream. Many people dream, and sometimes the strangest things.

Girls remember slightly more dreams than boys because they also talk more about dreams - perhaps because they talk more about their inner world for socialisation reasons. But ultimately, remembering is a question of interest, says dream expert Michael Schredl. «If there is a lot of talk about dreams in the family, the memory of them increases.»

Children don't just have beautiful dreams...

Nightmares are particularly memorable - much to the chagrin of those affected. Children between the ages of six and ten are affected particularly frequently, and girls are the most affected from the age of ten. The death of loved ones is one of the most common themes.

Lilou's friends die, Luis' father dies and Sophia's doll Nina dies. «She was so real to me,» says Sophia. She was always there on family trips.

Playing cops and robbers banishes nightmares

When it comes to the factors that trigger nightmares, psychologists like to refer to the genetic stress model. This means that genetics and personality have a major influence, and stress can also favour nightmares, as can medication or traumatic experiences.

Lilou's twelve-year-old brother Thierry, for example, witnessed his parents and grandparents being attacked at night when he was six. «Go away!» their grandmother shouted. «Go away!» Thierry also shouted in his sleep afterwards. Until a year ago. However, he no longer remembers this: playing cops and robbers repeatedly gave Thierry relief.

It is important to show that you take the child seriously.

Nightmares in children are normal for the time being. However, if they are recurring and cause distress, it is advisable to tackle the anxiety with the support of others. Good sleep hygiene can help, as can parental comfort and reassurance after waking up.

When Sophia woke up crying after her doll Nina had melted in her dream, her mum asked what the dream was about. She comforted Sophia and showed her the doll, which was still intact. In this way, she signalled to her daughter that she was taking her seriously.

«I was relieved when I saw that dad was there»

Luis made himself safe. After his dream in which his father had an accident in the snowy jungle, he checked to see if he was still alive. «I was relieved when I saw that Dad was there,» says Luis.

Lilou took the terror out of the dream by bringing the deceased friends back to life in the dream itself or afterwards during the storytelling. This reaction, as well as Thierry's game of cops and robbers, is similar to the Imagery Rehearsal Theory (IRT) method, in which children tackle their fear by remodelling the dream through drawing.

Lucid dreams instead of nightmares?

Lucid dreams, or lucid dreams, can also be used to treat nightmares. 20 per cent of the population experience at least one and 1 per cent several lucid dreams per month. Children between the ages of six and eight are more likely to experience lucid dreams than adults. In lucid dreams, the dreamer is aware that she is dreaming - in other words, she can theoretically control the dream and steer it in a less threatening direction.

Sports scientist Daniel Erlacher is investigating lucid dreaming. At the University of Bern, he is investigating whether lucid dreaming can be used to optimise movement sequences. His interest was sparked when he caught himself in a dream playing basketball in the kitchen.

«I doubted it because it's strange to play basketball in the kitchen. I said to myself: if I hit the next shot, I'll know I'm dreaming.» He missed. And yet he couldn't let go of the subject.

Lucid dreams can be used to mentally practise movements, solve problems and encourage creative ideas, but «the most important thing», says Daniel Erlacher, «is the fun factor». And yes: there are studies that speak in favour of using lucid dreams in nightmare therapy.

In a programme, test subjects tried to find access to their nightmares by means of lucid dreaming over a period of four weeks. And indeed: «The nightmares disappeared - but even before the test subjects were able to lucid dream,» says Daniel Erlacher. Apparently, all it takes is the confrontation with the nightmare and the knowledge that one could intervene.

With consultation hours against nightmares

In other words: talking about nightmares helps. «Just one session can lead to a significant improvement,» says Michael Schredl from his nightmare consultation in Mannheim. The aforementioned IRT method is also effective. It is one of the behavioural therapy methods in which - put simply - symptoms are treated by learning new ways of thinking and behaviour.

A dream is like a rose

Sometimes thoughts and wishes are explicitly depicted in dreams. For example, Lilou's 14-year-old sister Zoé dreamt at the age of six that she was hungry: «I dreamt that there was a plait on the bedside table that smelled so good. I took a bite.» She woke up - and realised that she hadn't bitten into a plait, but into her finger.

Sometimes, however, the dream refers to something that is not explicitly depicted. This is when the interpretation work begins, as carried out by child and adolescent psychiatrist Dieter Bürgin in his practice.

A dream has an infinite number of meanings.

Dieter Bürgen, child and adolescent psychiatrist

Regardless of the form of treatment, it is important to talk and listen openly. In the words of Dieter Bürgin, perhaps the treatment and exploration of dreams is like a rose: «You can look at it from different angles - from a botanical, a genetic perspective - or you can ask about its meaning.» But interpreting dreams is like asking questions about meaning: «A dream has an infinite number of meanings.»

It would be even nicer if the riddle of the dream was suddenly solved after thousands of years of searching.