Why boredom is so important
Can you still do it? Just wait at the bus stop, the ticket office. Stand there and do nothing until it goes on. Or, even more difficult: consciously letting time pass, enduring boredom. What sounds banal is a key life skill that needs to be practised early on.
Admittedly: Personally, I find waiting - and above all: consciously pausing - more difficult today than in the past. I've become too accustomed to the electronic jack-of-all-trades in my hand, which constantly tempts me with news, social media, games, health tips and more.
Whereas 15 years ago I used to spend most of my journeys on public transport looking out of the window, letting my mind wander and listening to music at best, today I often huddle behind my almost omnipotent phone and pass the time. The occasional glance at my surroundings shows: I'm far from the only one doing this.
Marshmallows as an indicator of success in life
Waiting and enduring boredom are extremely important skills that need to be learnt from an early age. Being able to wait is important in many situations in life, sometimes even crucial. In road traffic, to name one particularly obvious example, but also in maintaining friendships, at the amusement park, at the dinner table and, of course, at work and school.
Waiting and taking a step back from time to time is a life skill. As a rule, it means postponing the immediate satisfaction of needs in favour of an overriding goal, not giving in to every impulse. For example, not tasting the hot soup until it has cooled down a little despite being hungry, waiting to speak until the other person has spoken even though you want to say something yourself.
If you can wait, you are less likely to burn your tongue, have a better chance of being heard and reach your goal more safely. So it usually pays off not to follow your inner urge immediately, but to wait, keep a cool head and only act when the time is right.
It usually pays to keep a cool head and only act when the time is right .
In fact, the ability to wait goes far beyond these everyday examples, as studies show. You may be familiar with the marshmallow test, first carried out in 1968, where young children are presented with a sweet and given two options: They can nibble the treat immediately - or wait to receive an additional sweet treat later as a deferred reward.
Even if the experimental setup and the results of this experiment are controversial today, the researchers' observations suggest the following: test subjects who are able to wait well at a young age and postpone satisfying their cravings in favour of a second marshmallow generally have fewer problems and significantly higher chances of success later in adulthood - both professionally and in their social lives.
Exercise areas in everyday life
How well we can wait depends on our impulse control, which is one of the so-called executive functions. Scientists use this term to describe mental abilities that control our thoughts and actions. They influence social and emotional development and have a major impact on learning performance and social life.
We adults are called upon to be good role models for our children.
The ability to defer and wait is linked to the development of the brain, more specifically the prefrontal cortex. This controls conscious, rational thoughts and actions. The limbic system, which controls all vital bodily functions from birth and reacts quickly, instinctively and emotionally, is different. For example, it helps us to quickly assess potential dangers and advantages and to react immediately.
Two particularly typical reactions of this kind are attack or flight. In contrast, rational, forward-looking, planning thinking and action are not possible from birth. The responsible frontal brain, the prefrontal cortex, gradually develops fully over the course of the first 25 years of life.
The ability to reset is linked to the development of the brain, more specifically the prefrontal cortex.
Postponing their own needs, planning, focussing their attention and regulating their emotions: Children have to learn all of this first. Nevertheless, it is possible and sensible to guide them early on with patience and perseverance and give them the opportunity to practise these skills.
Familiar games such as hide-and-seek, many board or card games and, above all, everyday tasks offer numerous opportunities to practise. The classic Advent calendar, for example, is a great waiting aid: there may not be any presents yet, but you can still experience how the wait can be endured, Christmas approaches every day and the anticipation grows.
Such practical help is not always available. Nevertheless, it is worth keeping at it and practising with the children so that they can wait better and better: when listening, at the dinner table, when speaking at school, when saving money, when playing with others. Last but not least, it is also important to be able to take a step back in the event of an argument.
Those who can control their anger, accept criticism and manage their behaviour in such a way that cooperation becomes possible again have a clear advantage. However, frustration tolerance and impulse control need to be practised, and we adults are called upon to be good role models for children.
