«We focus on trust, respect and commitment»
Our relationship with our children is of central importance to us. In our opinion, however, a good relationship also requires boundaries. For us, a clear attitude towards our children is very important. The more we know what we want, stand behind it all and express this clearly, the more chance there is that the children will be able to orientate themselves towards us.
It's the same with boundaries. We see ourselves as having a clear responsibility here and as role models so that our children can learn from us how to maintain their own boundaries and those in their social environment. If we make sure that we are doing well and maintain our personal boundaries and integrity, even outside of the family, this has a big influence on our children. There are always situations in which a clear «no» is important, without long explanations, discussions or justification.
Trust, commitment and mutual respect play a major role in our everyday life. It is important to us that our children have their freedom and can have a say. Nevertheless, structures, agreements and a few fixed rules are important to us.
For example, regular mealtimes, bedtimes and rules on media consumption or who is at home when. For example, we eat together and there are no mobile phones on the table. Everyone clears their own dishes. It's also important to us that they both tidy their rooms once a week. This can vary from day to day, but it should be done once a week.
Helping out in the form of chores is also an integral part of our daily routine so that the children learn to take responsibility and become independent. As in every family, there are situations in which the children can no longer co-operate, be it due to tiredness, a hard day or lots of homework.
Especially then, we try to respect their boundaries, and it can happen that certain rules are relaxed, offices or tasks do not have to be completed on the same day and we weigh up what is really important at the moment. There's room for that with us.
We attach great importance to mutual respect and the language we use with each other, including how we communicate boundaries. It may not always work in a given situation - but being aware of and taking responsibility for our own actions helps a lot.
