«We can only protect our children up to a certain point»

«When you have four children, there are inevitably discussions about the questions "When am I allowed to do this?» and «Why am I allowed to do XY that I'm not yet allowed to do?». We parents have a lively dialogue about what we can trust our children to do and when, and where we are perhaps right to feel uneasy.

On the one hand, our fears are about everyday situations that need to be dealt with. For example: At what age can you go to the swimming pool on your own? Or: Are you allowed to cycle a route on your own? On the other hand, our concerns centre on whether we are adequately supporting our very different children as they take their first steps towards independence.

We also overcome fears by discussing them with our children.

We want to give them confidence and not slow them down with our worries. It's about consciously letting go. But it's also about not ignoring strengths and weaknesses for the sake of equality. Our second-born Hanna is brave and wants to try out lots of things. She has a different temperament to our eldest. If she dares to do something, she may do it earlier. Equality is not fair - this saying characterises our upbringing.

We also overcome fears by discussing them with our children. There are rules and standards that must be adhered to. The test at school helped us with cycling: Once Elija had passed it without any problems, he also had the inner confidence to cope with it. He also recently went to the swimming pool on his own for the first time. Afterwards, we were all proud, talked about the experience and Elija's feelings and celebrated this step.

Letting go is not easy. It helps that we believe in a good God. We can only protect our children up to a certain point. We pray that Jesus will watch over them and trust that he means well for us. This basic trust gives us a certain serenity."