«The counselling role has made me more self-confident»

Whether at home or in the classroom, conflicts and negative feelings are part of life. A lot can be achieved when schools, parents and children work together to resolve them. The Brem family tells us.

Nelia Brem: "Last term, I was a counsellor in the ideas office at Kaisten school together with three other sixth formers. I'm now part of the oldest year group at my school and thought it was great to be able to help the younger ones. As I had already experienced similar problems to them, I was able to understand and advise the children well.

If children came to us because of a dispute, we could often see them playing together again afterwards. It was a good feeling.

Nelia Brem

It was very exciting to take turns in the different roles, to lead the discussion, to be an observer or to take the minutes. When children came to us because of an argument, we could often see them playing happily and contentedly together again on the playground afterwards - that was a good feeling.

As a separate project, we wanted to introduce the godmother/godfather system for our first-graders. We had already prepared everything for an afternoon of play together, but unfortunately this had to be cancelled due to coronavirus. My role as a counsellor has made me more self-confident and open. Many children who know me from the ideas office now greet me when they go shopping. It makes me proud that I was able to work there."

Petra Brem: "It was good for our daughter to get involved in the Ideas Office; it boosted her self-confidence. That will help her, because she will soon be starting sixth form and will have to be able to hold her own against the older children. Social skills are very important to my husband and I, as they will need them for the rest of their lives.

We can't do everything for our children.

Petra Brem, mum of Nelia, Malin and Leanne

It is very important to us that they treat other people with respect and help them. Fortunately, Nelia was already able to do this before, it's a character trait of hers. However, we thought it was important to sensitise her to bullying and aggression outside of the family as well. After all, the inhibition threshold for pupils to display such behaviour seems to be lower nowadays due to media consumption. It is therefore important that children learn to resolve conflicts peacefully at an early age. The Ideas Office is a good training ground for this.

I think it's good that schools today are also placing more emphasis on social skills and that children are learning to work as part of a team from an early age. I think it's an exaggeration to judge them for this, because children should still be allowed to be children. They have to be able to do a lot these days. If they feel overwhelmed, you can talk to the teacher.

If we as parents want our children to be independent and stand on their own two feet in life, we can't do everything for them. But we can take them seriously, show understanding for them, support and accompany them."