Teacher and mother: in the dual role

As a young mum and current teacher, I didn't think much about what it would be like when our two daughters went to kindergarten and school. I thought I knew how things worked and approached the story fairly unencumbered. Today, many years and numerous experiences, parent-teacher conferences and discussions at home later, I have a much more nuanced attitude to the subject.

What is really important for a child's soul

As a mum, your perspective on school is different to when you are standing in front of the class. Logically, you look at school from the perspective of your own family, which is closer to you than anything else. From this «mother's perspective», I experienced our two daughters as they happily set off every morning and returned home after school tired, but mostly satisfied and happy.

As a mum, your perspective on school is different to when you are standing in front of the class.

The girls developed in directions that could not have been more different. Their school years filled us with pride on the one hand, but also led us into the mills of numerous clarifications on the other. And they made me realise what is really important for a child's soul: the feeling of being in good hands at school and being accepted for who you are. For us, it was of the utmost importance that our children enjoyed going to school, whereas their performance and grades often played a subordinate role.

When things get uncomfortable: homework conflict zone

Even if I personally would sometimes have made different decisions to the professionals on site, there was no reason for me as a mother to constantly interfere in the school's affairs; not even, and certainly not as a «mother teacher». Teachers, school management and support staff did an excellent job, it worked - most of the time, in any case.

At home, however, there were or still are moments when my dual role as a teacher and mum got in the way, or still does: when the girls are doing their homework, my work-related helper syndrome kicks in.

How relieved I was when our youngest daughter's teachers advised me to simply be a mum at home and not a teacher.

It is a great challenge for mums and dads to help their own children in an educationally correct way. Emotions, misunderstandings and impatience arise far too quickly on both sides and things get uncomfortable at the dinner table. How grateful and relieved I was when our younger daughter's teachers advised me at a progress meeting to simply be a mum at home and leave my role as a teacher out of it.

Teaching, love and other major concerns

Our daughters are now teenagers and have grown into young women. In the course of their development, issues have changed or been added. Even at their age, school still plays an important role, for example in vocational training or when looking for an apprenticeship. However, other topics often take centre stage: first and serious love (Oh my goodness!), going out («What would it be like if you were at home again?»), media consumption («You could read a book again»), looking for a taster apprenticeship («Have you called yet?») or dealing with frustration at school (prioritising?), to name just a few.

How did it go again: small children, small worries - big children, big worries? As a mother of small children, this saying always upset me. Isn't it always the current hardships that seem huge and sometimes unsolvable? In the current phase - see above - I can certainly gain something from this credo. But that's another story

Why the view is enriched by different glasses

The bottom line is that, from a sometimes healthy distance, I still benefit from my dual role today: as a mum at home, in my work as a teacher and, last but not least, as president of the association. The experiences with our almost grown-up children broaden my horizons. This helps me to see the pupils in «my» class in a different light. Thanks to my background as a mum, I can understand their worries, fears and problems, understand what lies behind them and have become more patient.

Experiences with my own children broaden my horizons. This helps me to see pupils in a different light.

The experiences I have had with my daughters on the subject of homework also help me in this respect. It seems important to me to focus on the children's abilities and to keep an eye on their deficits, but if possible not to place them at the centre. Unfortunately, I don't always succeed in doing this - but my view of the pupils is certainly more differentiated today than it used to be. I can better assess where their performance limits are and understand when notes or forms are forgotten - after all, as a working mum, that happened to me too.

My life experience with our two daughters has certainly not made me the perfect mum, let alone the perfect teacher. But looking through different lenses enriches both family and school life, and indeed life in general, time and time again.