Psychological violence: Our topic in February

Let's be honest: when was the last time you coerced your child by threatening to withdraw love? With sentences like «It makes me sad that you're not practising your instrument». Or «If you don't tidy your room right now, I won't like reading to you later».

Threaten. Devaluing. Scolding. Belittling, discouraging and despising the child if it doesn't behave the way parents want it to. Psychological or emotional violence is the most common form of violence in families. Many children experience it on a daily basis and it is inflicted on them consciously, often unintentionally. Psychological or emotional violence is more difficult to define than physical violence because it is not visible. But it can be felt. Verbal aggression or non-verbal gestures can seriously injure children and make them permanently ill.

The dossier «Psychological violence» by my colleague Virginia Nolan aims to raise awareness. To educate. To raise awareness of how widespread psychological violence is in everyday family life. And how subtle this form of violence is, which parents often don't even recognise as such. Where does psychological violence begin and how do we sharpen our awareness of it?

Do you recognise this too? You read an interview and think: Wow! Straight to the point. That's what happened to me during our monthly interview with fatherhood coach Carsten Vonnoh. The father of two explains what men need to do to better fulfil their role as fathers. «The first step is to be honest with yourself. Many fathers don't realise how they want to be as a father. It takes time to define this role for yourself, to let go of demands that cause unnecessary stress.» Vonnoh calls on us men to be more courageous. We don't look enough at what would be good for us and our family because we are so driven to function, to perform. «Have the courage to try out other ways. Don't get stuck in the old rut.» I highly recommend this interview to you, dear fathers and mothers.

Children are not responsible for our well-being.

Martina Schmid, mother of three, primary school teacher, curative teacher and counsellor at the Swiss Parent Helpline.

Have you heard about our lecture series «Kosmos Kind»? As part of a joint initiative of the Stiftung Elternsein, publisher of Fritz+Fränzi, and the Akademie. For the child. Giedion Risch, renowned experts have been sharing exciting insights from research and practice in dialogue with the audience since 2020. «Kosmos Kind» will be continued this year - coronavirus permitting - with 15 talks and discussions that will inspire you. The topics are wide-ranging: «What does a family need to be happy?», «What will the school of the future look like?» or «Growing up multilingual - what does that mean for my child?» Are you curious? Then I look forward to welcoming you to one of the talks.

I wish us all a less stressful, a less strange year than last year. Try to give your child a feeling of safety and security every day. And stay confident.

Sincerely,
Your Nik Niethammer